State of Mind
by mcnimz
Summary: Lauren's first year in New York begins with a head on collision and a love affair with her roommates step brother.'
1. Chapter 1

**Me and voldobaby are doing fanfics for eachother so hence the collision of many fandoms. You don't have to read, it's mostly for my chum ;D **

**Chapter 1**

It's the first day of new beginnings. New city, new life. Well, that's at least what the brochure said. New York wasn't my first option. But it turns out Yale had too many applicants for their Creative Writing course this year. That's what the email said. Otherwise known as the watered down bullshit version of 'you seem very intelligent but not intelligent enough for our snobby teaching and upper class lectures.' I emailed back a blunt, but friendly 'fuck you.'

So here I was, lifting my bags out of the trunk of my car in a classically cliché manner and heading towards the admissions office of New York University.

"Lauren Owens." I said to the woman with glasses at the desk.

"Room 203." She said, barely making eye contact. Nothing like a little ignorance to start of your school year.

I sauntered up the staircase checking each door for any resemblance to the number given merely seconds ago. I must have spent easily fifteen minutes doing this because I somehow found myself in the same place I started.

This was my first ultimatum of college. Continue looking like an insane freak, or knock on the first door I can find and ask for help.

I knocked on the door in front of me multiple times, and there was no response. Feeling defeated, I turned round to head towards the admissions office and I tumbled into a hard body. Before I knew it I was lying face down on the floor on top of a strange, but attractive man.

"I'm so sorry," I said whilst jumping up and fixing my outfit back to its original state. I looked up at the man in question and found myself frozen on the spot.

"Don't worry about it," he said in a soft voice. His eyes were copper, his dark hair was dishevelled in an 'I just had sex' type of way and he was wearing at ocean blue shirt which tugged to his obviously toned body in all the right ways, "I'm Edward.'

Edward. He looked more like a Thomas, or a Peter. But I suppose he could pull of Edward. As long as I didn't have to call him Eddy. "You can call me Eddy if you like." I think he was reading my mind.

"Edward will do fine. I'm Lauren," I said smiling, almost forgetting exactly why I was in this position in the first place. "And I'm lost. You don't happen to know where room 203 is, do you?" I said, moving myself closer to him than I needed to be.

"Straight down, and to your right. You can get there without falling over, can't you? Or do you need assistance?" He smiled.

My knees almost caved in to the floor and I'm pretty sure my heart almost came out of my mouth. "I can get there fine, thank you." I said rolling my eyes. I am the master at acting calm when I'm exploding on the inside.

"Nice to meet you, Edward." I said turning on my heel and walking down the hall.

"And you, Lauren." I heard behind me.

I found my room minutes later, and wasn't surprised to find that my roommate had already arrived, leaving her stuff on her chosen bed.

I left my bags down on the floor, and collapsed on my bed, closing my eyes. It was a long journey from Ohio to New York, one that I endured without any sleep, or coffee. And that is not a good combination.

"I'm Jenny, you must be Lauren." A voice said halting me from my pending nap.

I opened my eyes to find a tall blonde haired girl staring at my from her bed, with a light smile on her face. She was in all black, with far too much eyeliner on her face but she was still pretty, despite those raggedy hair extensions she had in.

"That I am." I said rolling off the bed, giving my roommate and awkward but friendly wave.

"Where did you come from?"

"Ohio." I said quietly.

"Long way from home, huh?" You can say that again, I said to myself. "You won't be one of those homesick people that cry down the phone every night, will you?" She asked.

"Definitely not. I'm glad to get away from there." I replied, honestly.

"Good." She said simply, "I'm from New Jersey, so I'm pretty close to home. Nothing beats New York though."

I wasn't going to argue with her there. I had only been here for half an hour and I've already been amazed by everything I'm come by. Maybe it truly is the city that never sleeps.

"What classes are you taking?" But before I got to reply she continued, "Wait, let me guess. You look like a Politics major. You have the face for it."

I laughed, "I couldn't publically speak to save my life. Creative Writing is my major, and History is my minor."

She gasped, "I'm taking History too! Psychology is my major. So, you want to be a writer, huh?"

I contemplated to right thing to say. I didn't know what I wanted to be. I was hoping college could help me with that. "Something like that." I sighed, "I'm honestly looking at college like a learning experience."

"Well, Katlin. There isn't a place to learn like New York and I'll be happy to help."

I laughed, "That'd be great. I need all the help I can get." I sat back on my bed lying down.

"You know what? I think you and me and going to be really good friends." She said, sweetly.

I smiled. "I hope so." And I drifted off to sleep.

It's my first night in New York and I have found myself in some smoky bar in the outskirts of Brooklyn with a girl I've known for a couple of hours. I wasn't exactly with her, because she abandoned me about ten minutes ago to go see some guy with bangs that introduced himself as Nate.

I sat at the bar necking down shot after shot. I was curious to see if things tasted different in New York. Turns out the answer was no, but they certainly had more of an effect on me than they did back home. Or maybe it was always like this and I forgot.

"Another one from the guy over there." A slim waitress handed to me.

I rolled my eyes at the irony of this moment. A young girl, sitting at the bar by herself and the creepy old guy stepping in at the first opportunity to get her to come home with him.

I casually turned in my seat to pay attention to the man in question. I scanned the room carefully until my eyes landed in the direction the waitress had pointed. My vision landed in line with a blue eyed male wearing a leather jacket, holding a pint of beer with a smirk on his face. He was handsome to say the least. He nodded towards me in the usual creepy guy way bringing me back to earth and I turned my attention back to the bar.

"One for the road, please." I said to the bartender.

"Don't go yet, I don't even know your name." I heard a deep voice say behind me.

I turned to my side to find creepy bar guy smiling down at me, with his deep blue eyes staring straight into my soul. Damn, they were really blue. I didn't notice that across the bar in the dim light before. All of a sudden the close proximity didn't seem to borrow me. In fact I suddenly wished he was standing a lot closer.

"You must be Lauren."

I looked at him with a surprised expression. "How do you...?"

"Your friend, Jenny, has a big mouth," he smirked, "she's my step sister."

If I was surprised before, I sure as hell was mind fucked right now. "Jenny didn't tell me she had a brother."

"She's not one to brag."

Arrogant and attractive. Two of my favourite qualities in a guy.

"What is there to brag about?"

He bent down, lowered his lips towards my right ear and exhaled a hot breath. "Why don't I show you?"

Maybe it was at alcohol, or the hot New York air, but I found myself rubbing my foot up and down the denim that tugged so nicely to his leg.

"Your place or mine?"

He responded with a smirk. The same smirk I'd grown to adore over the past five minutes.

It didn't take long for us to get back to his apartment. We took a cab and during the journey, we couldn't keep our hands off each other.

As soon as we got through his door, the leather jacket I'd admired earlier was on the ground along with my heels, my coat and probably my pride. I don't usually do this with guys I just meet. Actually, I never do this with guys I've just met. But he was hot, I was drunk, and I'm in New York.

I was completely helpless as he held me against the wall of his living room. He pinned his lips against my neck causing me to moan and run my fingers through his hair.

"Bed," I murmured, "Go. Please."

I shoved him hardly in chest towards what I assumed was his bedroom, he laughed in response.

"Someone's egger."

Instead of coming up with some sarcastic comment, I just pressed a kiss to his lips and grinded my hips against his. He groaned, lifted me up and walked towards the destination as I wrapped my legs tight around his waist. I felt then and there how badly he wanted me. I slid out of his grasp as we tumbled towards the bed and I straddled him rubbing my groin with his.

"This won't last long if you keep doing that." He groaned.

"What if I do this?" I breathed. My hands flew from his hand to his belt buckle, loosening it and throwing it to the floor. He lifted his hips allowing me up push his jeans over them and adding them to the pile of clothes on the floor.

"Too much clothes." He said between kisses.

I rolled off his hips, standing up looking down at the naked man in front of me as I removed my dress.

"Beautiful." He sighed as I was left standing in my underwear. He grabbed my waist pulling me onto the bed, swapping our old positions. His weight was now towered above me as he collided his chest with mine.

"These need to go," I whispered in a low voice, as my finger gently slided in the waistband of his boxers.

He laughed before leaving numerous kisses on my jaw and neck, enough to leave a mark that would remind me of the night. He kissed his way down my stomach until he reached his destination, quickly removing my panties.

He crawled over me, as I pushed down his remaining clothing, leaving us both completely exposed to each other. I bit my lip, admiring the toned man above me as he growled planting another kiss on my mouth.

"What's your name?" I asked in between moans of pleasure, suddenly remembering the fact I was in bed with a man I didn't even know.

"Can you keep a secret?" he asked before he nibbled at my ear.

"Yes," I half screamed.

He covered my mouth with his and I bent my leg around his waist, with my other foot dug deep into the mattress. I moaned feeling his length against me.

He smirked and grabbed at my chest, lowering his lips to my ear, leaving a sloppy kiss just below it. "Damon," he breathed, "my name is Damon."

I rolled us over, throwing myself on top of him as I straddled his thigh, holding on to his toned arms. I narrowed my eyes and dropped a few kisses to his abs.

"Sexy," I smirked.

He reached up, pushing my long blonde curls behind my naked shoulders. I lowered my hand and gripped him. "Am I driving you crazy?"

After a breathless grunt, he took matters into his own hands and rolled us over, gaining the dominance once again. He pulled at my neck, lifting me up into a sloppy kiss, the alcohol definitely having its affect on both of us.

"Please." I moaned, pushing my hips up into his to get the slightest bit of friction available.

He laughed, "Now who's driving who crazy?"

I rolled my eyes at him, grabbing his girth in my small hand again desperate to get him inside of me. I suddenly felt his hand on my wrist, tugging my hand off him and pinning it behind me.

"Tell me what you want." He breathed staring at me with those hypnotising eyes.

"I thought it was obvious," I smirked reaching up to kiss him before he pulled away, obviously wanting his answer, "I want you."

"How badly?" He questioned. He was really pushing it, wasn't he? If this was his form of foreplay it most certainly wasn't working. "How badly do you want to fuck me?"

"More than anything." I lied.

He smirked, gripping onto his shaft. I could feel him positioned at my entrance, desperately wanting to push forward so he could be within me. He gave me one more quick kiss and muttered, "You really shouldn't lie, Lauren," and he pushed his length into me.

I grabbed onto his muscular shoulders and moaned out, biting my lip to keep from screaming out. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction.

"Fuck," he sighed, "so good."

His body was moving with mine so fast that I didn't realise when we swapped positions for probably the hundredth time this evening, giving me the opportunity to blow his mind. His hands were dancing from my hips to my thighs, rubbing them while looking up at me with adoration.

"Damon," I screamed after trying to hold it back for what seemed an eternity. I didn't care about his ego anymore; all that mattered was what he was doing to me, and the things he was making me feel.

"Don't stop," he gasped. Was he crazy? I wouldn't stop if someone had a gun to my head.

I threw my head back, keeping my hands on his abs as I worked my hips with his, feeling the tension building up within already.

"Damon," I breathed. "I'm...I'm close."

My words must have had an effect because he flipped us over again, throwing my leg over his shoulder and pushed in and out of me harder than he had ever before. The new position was doing wonders for my building release, and his too.

"So fucking close." He muttered, almost so silently I wasn't sure if I was supposed to hear it.

"Cum for me." I moaned.

He gripped my hips and with a few more aggressive thrusts, he reached his climax, and I followed soon after. He pushed my sweaty fringe off my forehead and rolled off me, trying to catch his breath.

Just as I was ready to say my goodbyes, throwing my legs over the side of his bed, I felt his grip on my wrist just like it had been minutes ago. I looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. Noticing my expression, he let go.

I crawled back into my underwear and toddled across the room to lift my dress off the floor, feeling Damon's eyes on me the entire time. With my dress on, I made my way to his bedroom door, stopping and turning round to look back at the man still in the same position.

"So...uh..," I stuttered, "thanks?" I asked. It wasn't really a question, but I didn't know what I was supposed to say. I don't do this often, and I'm still blaming it on the alcohol. And those eyes.

He laughed. "You are very welcome."

I opened my mouth to say something, closed it again and continued my way out off his bedroom. I found my shoes in the middle of his living room, slipped them on my feet and had a quick glance in the mirror before leaving.

I had sex hair. It was sweaty, gross and unbelievably dishevelled. I took the hair band off my wrist and threw my waves up into a messy ponytail.

"I'm a hair grabber," I jumped, startled to hear his voice behind me. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay." I reassured him, although I don't think he needed reassuring.

"If it makes you feel better, I think you pull it off." He said without a trace of his arrogant smirk, it was impossible to tell if he was being sincere.

He was leaning against his couch, still shirtless, with only his boxers on. It was distracting me, and part of me wanted to run straight back to his bed for seconds. He noticed my stare and straightened up to walk towards me.

I turned the handle on his door, pushing it open before he had the chance to get me back in his bed. "Bye, Damon." I smiled, closing the door behind me. I relaxed my body against the door, took a breath and pulled out my phone from my purse. I ordered a cab, desperate to get home to my own bed. And to my new roommate, whose step brother I just slept with.

I can guarantee this year will be an interesting one.

**I don't own the characters, lalalal apart from Lauren.**

**Oh and sorry for the awkward sex scene**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is all for fun for my friend voldobaby. We have collided manyafandom just for our weird minds. It may all seem strange and OOC but it's not necessarily supposed to be.**

**Chapter 2**

"I don't know how things worked back in Ohio, Ms Owens, but here in New York time management is a necessity if you want to succeed, not to mention graduate."

I tugged at my t-shirt nervously, running my fingers threw my fringe avoiding making eye contact with anyone in the room. I felt every stare in the room on me, but that wasn't what was most intimidating. It was the tall blonde haired professor, glaring at me, waiting for me to respond with some acceptable excuse.

"I have a reason..."

I don't know how I managed it, I really don't. All I had to do was follow simple directions. But somehow I ended up in the wrong side of town. I called a cab over, jumping into it in a hurry desperate not to turn up to my first day in class late.

I hurried down the corridor and burst into the lecture room not even thinking about composing myself before making my first appearance. Looking up, out of breath I suddenly regretted my decision of a grand entrance when I seen the face of an angry, but strangely beautiful man staring at me.

"I'm sorry I'm late." I said, still catching my breath.

I saw the tall blonde scanning his eyes down what I assume was the class list, and then turning back to me. "Ms Owens, how nice of you to join us." Not only have I pissed off my professor, but I have pissed off my hot professor.

"You do realise that class started 40 minutes ago, right?" he said with an expression that I couldn't read.

"Yes, I-"

I couldn't finish my sentence because I was cut off by another question. "Then why on earth are you only turning up now?" He narrowed his eyes at me. He was trying to be smart; he was trying to embarrass me. Good thing I don't get embarrassed easily.

"_I don't know how things worked back in Ohio, Ms Owens, but here in New York time management is a necessity if you want to succeed, not to me__n__tion graduate."_

"_I have a reason..." _I promised. "You see, I took a cab to –"

"As much as I would love to hear your fascinating story, we'll have to save it for another time because I'm paid to teach you about History, not be your therapist." He smirked.

The class erupted into laughter as I made my way towards my assigned seat beside Jenny. I sat down and clenched my fists in anger. If I wanted to be humiliated I would go back to Lima. This was most certainly, not what I signed up for.

"You okay?" Jenny whispered.

I nodded and said "he's a jack ass,"whilst glaring at the man I'll have to put up with for the next year.

"He's actually pretty cool. And hot."

I shot daggers at her with my eyes. Did she not just witness what he did to me? It was immature, and petty. And not to mention completely inappropriate. If he wanted to discuss my tardiness he could have waited until after class. I should report him to the Head of History.

The rest of class seemed to drag in. I don't know whether it was because I missed out on the first 40 minutes, or the annoyance that was still pumping through my veins. I breathed a sigh of relief when the bell ran and everyone stood up making their way towards the door. I thought I got free when I heard a firm "Ms Owens."

I stopped moving and started mentally cursing in my head.

"Can I speak to you for a moment?"

I nodded and moved my way towards his desk, with my arms crossed over my chest showing him that I was most definitely not happy with him.

"I would like to discuss our little disagreement earlier." He stated.

Well, I wouldn't so...

He looked at me like he was waiting for a response. Sensing that I wasn't going to give him one, he continued. "Look, I'm not the kind of teacher to have problems with my pupils. I want a friendship with them. I want them to look at me as someone they can come to, someone they can talk too. And I understand that this morning I didn't give you that impression."

I laughed at his obvious statement.

"However, I do have rules. One of them being time management." He emphasised on the last two words. "I don't want your parents to be paying high amounts of money to this school, for you to be walking in and out of class whenever you want."

"I don't plan on doing that." It slipped out. Word vomit.

He smiled, "then coming in late on your first day isn't the best impression, is it?"

I smiled back, shaking my head.

"Where are you from..." he paused whilst looking at his class list again, "Lauren."

"I'm from Ohio." I said half-heartedly. It was not something I really liked to brag about. Especially not to hot teachers.

"Really?" He asked as though he was interested. "I have a few friends back in Ohio. What school did you go to?"

"McKinley. It's in Lima." I told him. "Middle of nowhere."

He laughed; lifting out a pile of notes from his briefcase that I assume was class work. He handed it to me.

I raised my eyebrow in curiosity. "This is what you missed during the first 40 minutes." He told me. I took it off him with a half-smile that said 'thank you.'

There was a moment of awkward silence. I was about to fill it when he said, "You can leave now, I assume you have class and you don't want to be late now." He was smirking again, but this time it was endearing. Almost like Damon's. Wait, why am I thinking about Damon?

I walked towards the door, turned round and said "Thank you, Mr Northman."

"Eric."

I tilted my head in confusion. "My students call me Eric."

I pursed my lips and nodded before heading out the door, closing it behind me and rushing to my next class.

Luckily when I arrived in the lecture room, the teacher wasn't there just yet, so I walked up to the back of the room sighing as I sat down in the first chair in sight.

I opened my notebook and started doodling to distract myself when I heard a cough coming from above me. I looked up to find a familiar face staring down at me. I just couldn't quite place where I'd seen him from.

"Is this seat taken?" He asked whilst pointing to the empty chair beside me.

I shook my head and he sat down beside me smiling. "Did you find your room?"

I looked at him with a blank expression, completely unaware of what he was talking about. I went to speak when the realisation hit me. It was hallway guy! The one with the hard body and I refused to call Eddy.

"I'm taking that face as you just remembered who I am," he said giggling.

"Yes," I admitted. "Sorry, I'm not took good at placing faces. But to answer your question, I did happen to find my room. Your directions were very helpful."

"Well, I'm glad to have been of assistance."

He wasn't even looking at me, his gaze was direction to the front of the room, yet I still felt as if he was burning holes in my body. And by that smile he knew exactly what he was doing. I shifted in my seat trying to gain composure, not wanting him to get any satisfaction out of this.

"So, you like writing, huh?" I asked.

He laughed, still not looking at me. "Yes, I thought that was obvious, given the fact we're in the Creative Writing class."

Oh, and now I felt like an idiot. "What about you? Do you enjoy writing?" He asked.

Ignoring his question, I turned my body towards him, irritated at his sarcasm. "I was only trying to make conversation; you didn't have to be so rude. For all I know you may have been forced to take this subject because the ignorant asshole class was filled up for 2011."

I turned back in my seat, lifting my pen and tapping it on the table in frustration. He looked over at me for the first time today, and I could have sworn I saw him smile.

"It is."

I turned my gaze back to him. "What?"

"The ignorant asshole class is filled up for 2011." He smiled. I rolled my eyes and looked away again. His charm wouldn't work on me.

"I also applied for the sarcastic twat class, but they told me I didn't have the right look."

I smiled. "What exactly is the right look?"

He looked satisfied that I was actually making conversation with him. "Apparently you have to wear a lot of leather, and I'm just not into that. Too butch for me."

My thoughts went immediately to Damon for the second time today. I don't know why, but there was something about that blue eyed smooth talker that I couldn't stop thinking about. It had been 3 days since our little hook up and I was trying to avoid it as much as possible, considering I lived with his step sister.

"Do you think I could pull off leather?" He asked me.

I looked at him. "No."

I turned back in my seat as the professor entered the room. I didn't look at Edward for the rest of the lesson. Apart from the one time when I dropped my pen and he bent down to get it for him. I only looked because his already tight fitted shirt tugged to his body as he stretched.

The class overall was a lot more appealing that History. I found myself completely devoted to every word my professor said. I was furiously writing notes, gathering information that I thought sounded interested. By the end of class my hand was aching in pain and I almost groaned in annoyance when the bell rang.

Just as I got out of the class room I felt a tall body beside me, looking up I was satisfied that Edward was looking at me with a questionable expression.

"I'd like to ask you something."

"Then ask me." I urged him to continue.

He pulled me out of everyone's way and into the corner of the corridor. "There's this party," he said, "well, a friend invited me. It's probably going to be awful and filled with beer games and vomiting alcoholics but I was wondering if you'd like to come."

He didn't need to ask me twice, I was obviously going to say yes but for some reason he felt like he had to keep trying to convince me.

"I'm only going because I feel obliged to but I'd really like you to come so...you know, it's not the worst night of my life."

I laughed at his exaggeration, which was quite complimentary if you think about it. "Sounds fun."

He raised his eyebrows in shock. "Really?"

"Sure." I smiled. "Truth is, I don't really know anybody in New York and a party is the perfect excuse to make new friends. Even if they're vomiting alcoholics."

He smiled back at me and started pulling on his back pack, which I assume was a nervous habit. It was awfully cute. "Great. That's great. I'll pick you up at 9. Room 203, right?"

I swallowed, in complete shock that he remembered what room I was in, yet I couldn't even remember who he was just 2 hours ago. "That's right."

He bent down, planting a soft kiss on my right cheek before continuing his way down the corridor. I stood motionless with my mouth hanging slightly open. I haven't been kissed on the cheek since my eleventh birthday and it from my Aunt.

"So, is this the kind of party where you don't turn up home until 3am?"

I was applying my make up in the bathroom mirror as Jenny questioned me about what exactly I was getting up to tonight. I couldn't blame her. The last time I went out I was banging on the door looking as if I had been tossed about for hours. Which I sort of had.

"No," I told her. "If I'm not home by 1am, please call me and order me home. I couldn't handle another hangover. Not with class tomorrow."

It was partially for that reason, and partially because I didn't want to end up in bed with Edward to have to sit beside him in class awkwardly for the rest of the year as I pictured him naked and kept replaying his moans over and over...what was I saying?

"Who exactly invited you to this party?" I heard her ask from the bedroom.

"Edward. He's in my class." I found myself smiling as I answered her.

"Is he hot?" She questioned, now leaning against the door in the bathroom.

I smiled at her bluntness. Over the past few days it was something I was coming more familiar with as I got to know her. It was extremely refreshing to the bullshit I used to hear back in Lima.

"He's gorgeous." I said honestly.

She walked towards me, helping me zip up my dress and fixed my hair so it sat in bouncy curls across my shoulders. "Be careful."

I giggled at her mother like behaviour and walked back into the bedroom slipping my shoes onto my feet, searching the room for my bag as I heard a knock on the door. "I'll be fine." I promised her.

I opened the door to find Edward standing in a black shirt which hugged to his body in all the right places, dark denim jeans and the smell of his aftershave made me want to attack his neck with kisses.

"Hi," I said shyly, closing the door behind me without introducing him to my egger roommate.

"You look great." He said, blushing slightly with his hands in his pockets.

I thanked him and linked arms with him, in a friendly manner, suggesting that he lead the way to the party.

"I warned you about the vomiting alcoholics, didn't I?" He asked me as we stepped out of the cab. I linked my arm with his again, as if it was the natural thing to do. I mostly did it because I liked the feel of his biceps.

I nodded, laughing as we made our way to the door and headed in to the house filled with people. I suddenly felt overwhelmed. I'd been to my fair share of house parties, but that included a garden filled with ten to fifteen friends and my own bottle of vodka. It turns out, that when you're in college, the average party must include around fifty people...and your alcohol is everybody's alcohol.

"You alright?" I heard Edward whisper. Although, it was probably a lot louder than it seemed over the blaring music in the background.

"I'm fine," I assured him. "So which one is your friend?"

"He's not here yet." He said, looking around the room as though he was searching for something, or someone. It was almost impossible to hold this man's attention for longer than five minutes.

"He's not here for his own party?" I questioned.

He smiled at me, as if I was missing something painfully obvious. "It's not his party. It's his friend's party."

"So, we're at a friend of a friend's party?" I asked and he nodded. "I guess things do work differently here."

We found our way to the kitchen, which thankfully wasn't very crowded. He handed me a beer, and I took it to be polite, not telling him that I thought beer was vile. "You don't like beer, do you?" He asked me, reading my mind for the second time.

I shook my head and he laughed throwing his arm over my shoulder as if it was something we did all the time. "You're something special."

I felt my heart jump in my chest, and my cheeks blushed a tinge of red. My gaze dropped to the floor, and I shifted slightly away from him, embarrassed at how forward he was being. I felt his hand on my chin and he lifted it up until I was looking straight at him. He lent forwards and captured his lips in mine. It was gentle and tender as he made sure I was okay with what he was doing.

I let out a sigh, which to him was approval to push me back into the counter and deepen the kiss. His hand came into rest on my neck, rubbing his thumb up and down in a steady pattern. I ran my fingers through his hair pulling him closer.

I nearly let out a scream and I heard a vigorous vibration from his phone on the counter beside me. He pulled his lips off mine, gasping for air. He reached for his phone, not taking his eyes off mine. That was a change from his usual wandering gaze.

He reverted his attention to his phone as I heard him to talk to who I assumed was his friend. I fixed my hair and my dress, which somehow managed to be tugged and was in the strangest position.

I heard his phone beep as the call ended and he turned back to me. "My friend's here. I'm going to go meet up with him, but I'll be back in five minutes, okay?" He asked and made his way out of the kitchen.

It didn't seem like it had been five minutes when Edward returned without his friend, I might add.

"Where's your friend?" I asked, confused.

"He's talking to some girl he knows." He laughed. "I have to warn you. He's a bit of a ladies' man; it wouldn't surprise me if he tried to hit on you."

We swapped positions and I now had my back to the door. "You've mentioned me to him?" I asked as he reclaimed his beer in his right hand.

He stopped with the tip of the bottle to his mouth. "Is there anything to mention?" He questioned before closing his lips over the beer and taking a large gulp. I was mentally slapping him. How can someone so charming be so oblivious?

I was about to call him out on his behaviour when I heard a familiar voice behind me. "I've been here two minutes and I've already snagged that blonde chick's number. I'd say that's a new record."

Edward laughed, continuing to drink. I turned round wanting to see what this arrogant womanizer looked like. I nearly choked on own tongue, if that's possible, when those same blue eyes that had been haunting my mind for the past three days came into view. My jaw dropped and my mouth went dry.

He was my only one night stand. And I thought I'd never see him again. Isn't that how it's supposed to work? He's not supposed to be best friends with the guy who just had his lips attached to mine.

"Damon." I breathed.

And he did the worst thing he possibly could in this exact moment. He smirked.

**Cliffhangers a go-go. So, yeah...I don't own any of the characters, apart from Lauren. Thanks for reading. **

**P.S sorry for bad spelling...egger. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Once again, just colliding many fandoms for fun and for Lauren. Sorry for any character assassinations. You should check out voldobaby's story for me. ;D It's awesome.**

**Chapter 3**

If there was ever a moment in your life when you wanted to run into a wall continuously until you passed out, this would be it. It was one of those moments that only happen in the ridiculously predictable romantic comedies. You know the ones full of clichés and that awkward humour that is almost painful to watch? You watch them and laugh at the prospect of it ever happening in real life, you feel sorry for the pitiful girl on the screen who has got herself into the worst situation possible.

How did little old me, from Ohio, turn into the girl in the movie?

I was stood in the same spot, my hands tightly gripped onto my bottle of beer I had barely touched, and my mouth was dropped so low you would have swore I was trying to catch flies. He was smirking at me. He found this whole situation amusing. It was almost as if he knew it was going to happen the whole time, like he did it on purpose as pay back for shutting the door in his face. _I thought that was what guys wanted after a one night stand. _

I heard a forced cough behind me; bring me back to reality and turning round to face my date. I was on a date with the best friend of a guy I had a one night stand with three days ago. And not only that, but my date was best friend's with the same blue eyed man that had been appearing in my thoughts unwelcomed. This situation couldn't get more fucked up if it tried.

"You two know each other?"

_Or so I thought._

"He's my roommate's step brother." I rushed out quickly before giving Damon the chance to speak of our midnight hook up.

I heard Damon let out a small laugh behind me, earning a suspicious look from Edward as he glanced from me to his friend.

"Do you usually get that surprised to see your roommate's step brother?" He asked, clearly not buying whatever story I was trying to sell him. He was looking at me intensely, waiting for a reply, but I just stood there motionless, unable to come up with an excuse.

"Edward, I-"

"She was shocked because Jenny had told her I was in New Jersey this week." Damon interrupted. I looked at him in surprise. Did he really just say something to help me? I wouldn't imagine him being the helpful kind, especially when it comes to lying to his best friend.

Edward looked from Damon, back to me. "Why would she tell her that?" He asked.

"You got into a fight, right?" I looked at Damon for his approval. He just stared at me, and for a moment I thought his kindness was going to be exchanged for a remark that makes me come across stupid.

"Right."

I sighed, looking up at Edward and smiling. He looked back down at me and lowered his head, giving me a quick peck on the lips. It was unexpected, and it seemed as though he was doing it as a way to mark his territory. But his lips felt great so I really didn't care. _But Damon's lips were great too..._

"At least now I don't have to do the whole awkward introduction." Edward laughed, light-heartedly. I almost felt bad for lying to him. He was so naive and innocent; he didn't deserve to be played. But I didn't want something as silly as a one night stand to come between our bubbling romance. If that's even what it was.

I felt Edward's hand slipping around my waist, pulling me closer to his warmth. I tensed at the unnatural feeling of it all. It's not that I didn't like it, I mean, in any other situation I would, but I didn't like him making me feel like I was his possession. Especially in front of Damon.

I looked at Damon and I let my gaze linger on him longer than I should have. But what was the harm in looking? I smiled at him and mouthed a silent 'thank you' to which he just nodded before looking at his friend.

Edward was talking about something he had learnt in Physics class and I felt myself fading out, not listening to a word he said. It wasn't his fault; Physics was just never my thing. I would nod every so often or respond with a soft 'mhm' when I felt him look at me. I didn't want him to think I wasn't interested in what he was saying. _Even though I wasn't. _

Damon, however, seemed to be fully engorged in the conversation. I took this as a moment to examine his appearance. He looked the same as I remembered, not that I could remember much. Blame it on the vodka. He was wearing a tight white t-shirt, with the same leather jacket on top. I've become very fond of this jacket.

I was looking him up and down when I felt his eyes flicker to me for a moment, before flickering back to his friend. His lips turned up into a half smile. I don't know if it was because of me, or because of something Edward said. I'm embarrassed at how much I'd like to be to because of me.

"I'll be back in a moment." I felt Edward say in my ear before squeezing my hip and walking out of the kitchen. I followed his movements until the door closed behind him. Unfortunately, when I looked back, I remembered who exactly I was left with. I suddenly felt an urge for more beer.

I walked towards the fridge, opening it, taking in the cool air as a chance to compose myself. I lifted a beer out of the packet before turning round to find Damon standing directly in front of me.

"Is there something I can help you with?" I asked, trying to remain cool when inside my stomach was doing more flips than a gymnast. I moved to my previous position, acting completely unfazed by his proximity.

"I've an itch I can't scratch," he answered, "I was hoping that maybe, you'd scratch my back, I'd scratch yours."

I rolled my eyes and took a zip of my beer, looking in the opposite direction. But to him, that was somehow an invitation to stand in front of me. He towered over me; to say I felt intimidated was an understatement. I moved backwards, hoping he'd get the hint. Instead he let out a sigh, grabbing my beer out of my hand and setting it on the counter.

"Why did you make me lie to Edward?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

"What?"

He leant closer, lowering his head to be more level with mine. "I asked, why did you make me lie to Edward?"

I heard him the first time, I just wasn't sure if he was being serious or trying to make me feel uncomfortable. I tilted my head to the right and put my hands on his chest, pushing him away from me.

"I didn't make you do anything." I told him.

He scoffed and walked away from me, defeated. I mentally danced at my triumph. I outdid him and it felt good. I turned towards him and watched as he ran his hands through his dark hair. I know it wasn't supposed to be seductive, but it was the hottest thing he has ever done.

"Are you dating him?"

He didn't look jealous, or even curious. He didn't seem to have any expression at all. It was just a simple question. But somehow it managed to leave me speechless. Was I dating him? I barely knew him. _But that didn't stop him for kissing me, or holding onto my waist._

"No." I said. "I don't know him that well."

Damon smirked, taking another gulp of his beer. "That hasn't stopped you before."

It felt like a kick to the stomach. He thought I was a slut that slept with a different guy every night. I was just another girl that had been in his bed. I didn't expect to be anything else to him, but that look he gave me make me feel a lot more than that. Maybe he gives all the girls that look. Maybe him and Edward have shared sex partners before.

"I don't do it often." I said softly.

He raised his eyebrow at me, pealing the paper of his beer. "Do what?"

I let out a loud breath and turned to face the counter, holding onto as if I suddenly felt weak and was unable to hold myself up. "I don't have one night stands." Gaining my composure, I turned back round looking at him and I noticed his face had softened. "Ever."

He grunted and slid his hands into his pockets. "You regret it."

"No, it's jus-"

"It's alright. I wasn't looking for your approval." He rolled his eyes.

I half laughed. "Well, I'm glad you care about my feelings so much." I grabbed my bag off the counter and pushed my way towards the door, out of the kitchen and into the back garden.

It was absolutely freezing, but the alcohol had already had an effect on me and I only knew of the temperature because of the frost coming out of my mouth every time I took a breath. I heard heavy footsteps coming from behind me, and when they got close enough, it came to a halt.

"I don't do feelings." He sighed. "I do sex. It's what I'm good at."

Talk about tooting your own horn.

I felt his arm on my shoulder. It was gentle, like he was scared that I would turn around and punch him in the face for even getting close to me. I probably should have.

"I'm sorry for hurting your feelings, or whatever."

I turned round to face him. He looked more uncomfortable than I felt. I smiled at him, and walked back towards the house. "You didn't hurt my feelings."

"Uhuh." I heard him laugh at he followed me back inside.

"I didn't want you to tell Edward because I didn't want things to be awkward." I told him, entering the kitchen again. I wasn't lying. It was half true. "I appreciate you keeping it a secret."

He smiled. "Who said I was going to keep it a secret?" I stopped in my tracks and turned round, glaring at him. "I'm kidding." He finished.

"You can be a real asshole."

He laughed, just as Edward returned to the kitchen. "Something funny?" He asked, throwing his arm over my shoulder. I shook my head and Damon shrugged. "C'mon, I want to introduce you to some people."

By the end of the night I had met Chuck in the suit, Jeremy the guy who looked constantly stoned, Serena the girl who clearly did not own anything that covered her cleavage. Oh, and Jenny's boyfriend with the bangs was there.

I was grabbing my coat when a dark haired girl stood directly in front of me, glaring down as if I had just killed a member of her family.

"Um, hi."

She sniggered at me and tossed her hair which bounced beautifully on her shoulders. It was like she was studying me, trying to find out who I was. It wouldn't be as creepy if I knew _who she was._

"I'm Katherine," she informed me, sticking out her right arm looking for a hand shake.

What was this? An interview? Was I being assessed by some secret organisation? Oh, maybe it was the CIA. Being friendly I took her hand in mine, giving it a light shake. Her grip was a lot tighter than mine, but maybe it's because she's a business woman. Maybe she works with Chuck.

"Lauren." I smiled.

"Your friends with Damon?"

Oh, so now I see what it is. She's one of Damon's conquests and she is bothering me because she thinks I'm interested in him. _Which I'm soooooo not. _I was going to humour her; I'm going to play along just to get a reaction from her.

"Yeah," I sighed, twirling my hair around my finger. "He's super hot. Do you know if he's dating anyone?"

She looked at me blankly, I was afraid she was going to launch herself at me for talking about her man that way. Her lip curved up into a smile and she let out a small laugh. "Do you think I'm stupid?" She asked.

_Yes,_ I thought. "I don't know you." I told her with a shrug.

"You really shouldn't take acting up as a career choice." She said bluntly. Well, that hurt my ego. I always had a soft spot for the dramatics.

"Was my hair twirl not convincing enough?" I asked, and she shook her head. "I'm not dating Damon, nor am I interested in him. He's all yours." I said, walking past her to grab my coat.

"Sure you're not." I heard her snigger behind me.

I turned back round to face her and raised an eyebrow, urging her to spit out whatever she was desperately wanting to say. She sighed, walking towards me. "I get it. Believe me." She looked behind her, as though she was checking no one was listening.

"I'm dating Edward."

I don't know why I said it. It was defensive and completely transparent. I swallowed loudly as she smiled at me like she recognised my behaviour, like she'd been in this position once before herself.

"Edward's great." She admitted, picking up her own coat from the closet. "But you want Damon."

I went to snap at her when Edward appeared beside me, pulling at my hand. I smiled up at him and he returned the smile before turning to glare at Katherine.

"Everything okay?" He asked. I could feel his muscles tense in his arm. It was extremely attractive.

"Everything's great." I touched his chin and he returned his attention to me. I stood up on my tiptoes and planted a kiss on his lips. I heard Katherine scoff behind me, but I ignored her. "Could you order the cab?" I asked him once our lips broke apart.

He nodded and walked outside, leaving me alone with Katherine once again. I turned round to face her, ready to give her a mouthful but she was already absent. I walked back into the living room to find her talking to Damon. Never mind talking, they were so close she might have well been doing a bloody face examination.

I felt a surge of anger flow threw me, my palms were sweaty and my body was on fire. I was jealous. Why on earth was I jealous? He wasn't mine. I didn't want him to be mine. He didn't even like me.

The realisation hit me. She was doing this to prove a point. She wanted me to storm over, throwing a fit all red and furious. Well, I wasn't going to do that. As much as I wanted to punch her in her pretty little face, I wouldn't.

"Edward's calling a cab." I told Damon, putting my back to the bitch behind me. _Yeah, I'm really mature._

Damon looked at me like I had just asked him some complicated math equation. "Well, good for him?" He asked, raising his eyebrow.

In that exact moment I remembered that he didn't come with me and Edward. I can really be a fucking idiot, can't I? I opened my mouth to say something and decided against it. It was probably for best, because who knows what would have come out. I took a breath and turned walking back out of the living room so fast that my legs were wobbling in my heels.

Katherine's giggle behind me only made me walk faster; I almost reached the front door when I felt a grip on my wrist. I turned round instantly when I felt a pair of lips being collided with mine. My body froze in shock, my heart speed up so fast that the doctor down the street woke up because he was worried for my health.

I was shook back to reality when I realised the man pushing against me was Damon. He had followed me out of the living room, leaving Katherine on her own and he was kissing me with those lips. Those glorious lips.

My eyes flickered until they were shut. I let out a moan I didn't know I was holding as I felt his hands on my ass. I should have told him to stop, I should have pushed him off me, but the only pushing that was being done was when he pushed me against the wall and ground his hips with mine.

I felt his tongue prodding at my lips begging for entrance, which I soon granted him. My hands were on his neck, desperately pulling his face closer to mine. I let out another moan to which I felt him smile. I ran my fingers threw his dark hair and I heard him grunt and he slammed his hips against mine, letting me know what I was doing to him.

He removed his lips from mine and attacked my neck in kisses. I was trying to regain my breath back when I felt his mouth sucking at my ear. My hands were now under his shirt, touching every defined muscle I came into contact with. "Have sex with me."

My eyes snapped back open and my hands movements came to a stop. "What?" I half moaned.

He laughed into my neck, biting it, making sure he could leave a mark. "Have sex with me. For old times sake." He nibbled on my ear again, still grinding his hips with mine.

"I won't tell Edward." And that was it for me; I shoved him so hard that he stumbled backwards.

"What the hell!" He shouted as I ran out the door, slamming it in his face for the second time in three days. I zipped up my coat and searched for Edward, hoping he had a cab so I could go home.

The cab ride home was silent. My lips still burnt from the memory of having Damon's lips there mere minutes ago. I didn't know what came over me. Why did I let him touch me like that? Why did it take me so long to push him off me? It shouldn't have felt so good.

We reached my dorm room and I ran my hand threw my hair in frustration and let out a sigh. I turned to Edward to find him staring at me blankly. "What are you looking at?" I asked quietly.

He stared at me for a little longer before grunting and shifting uncomfortably. "Nothing." He looked back down at me and smiled. "I'm glad you came tonight."

I smiled at him and did the last thing I ever expected myself to do. I hugged him. Not even the normal friendly hug. It was a full on chest to chest bear hug. His arms stayed firmly planted by his side and his body tensed. I let go off him, and looked up. He smiled awkwardly before kissing my forehead, saying goodbye and walking down the corridor.

Something was bothering him. Maybe he knows about me and Damon. He does read minds after all.

I opened the bedroom door to darkness; I looked over at the clock. 2am. Well, that was a little later than planned but not too bad. I sighed whilst leaning against the door, shimmying out of my shoes.

I nearly had a panic attack when the lights suddenly switched on and Jenny was sitting at the edge of her bed with an anxious smile on her face.

"So, how did it go?" She smiled.

I let out a laugh and walked towards my bed, collapsing entirely on it. "It was fun."

"Fun?" She questioned and I nodded, curious as to what I was supposed to respond with. "Nate told me you and your date were ready to jump each other's bones."

"What?" I laughed. "Edward and I barely touched." I rolled over, content with sleeping in my clothes because I really was that tired.

"Edward? Nate said his name was Damon."

My eyes snapped back open.

"He said you and some guy called Damon were all over each other against a wall. You go girl." She laughed before turning the lights off. "Maybe he got the name wrong."

"Maybe."

**So yeah abrupt ending kinda...didn't know how to end it. And I basically forced this chapter out of myself so I don't think it's that good.**

**I don't own any characters, apart from Lauren. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It was a Thursday night and I was sitting in a crowded theatre with Edward watching a local production of Blood Brothers. It was terrible. In fact, it was painful to watch. I have seen better performances in Ohio. _That was saying something._

Edward and I had been spending a lot of time together the past week. He would call me during the afternoon, or pull me to the corner after the class with some plan for the evening, and I would reluctantly say yes. Although, it was usually fun and I enjoyed spending time with him, I was seriously getting behind on my class work. It's got to the point that I'd be sitting up at 4am drinking coffee after coffee. It was always a failed attempt because my bed was just so damn attractive.

I know what you're thinking...why not just turn him down? I suppose I could do that. But there is a little tiny part inside of me that feels guilty hurting him after what happened with Damon. I feel bad enough as it is. So, what's the harm in a few dates?

"That was awful." I critiqued.

"It wasn't that bad." He said, looking around. The wandering eye was beginning to become a pain in the a-hole.

"Are you serious?" I questioned, "I could have done better. And I have it on good authority that drama is not in my wheelhouse."

He laughed and turned to me, placing his hands on my waist and pulling me closer. He stared down at me for what felt like an eternity. I smiled at him and ruffled his hair, pulling out of his embrace.

"It's getting late." I said, "I should probably get home. I have an essay for Mr Northman that is due tomorrow. Let's just say I have gotten as far as a nun has in bed with it." He smiled and nodded, pulling out his phone to call a cab.

By the time I got home it was already after midnight, Jenny was snoring so loud it was a guarantee the neighbours could hear. The entire hall could probably hear. I switched the lampshade on and the room lit up, I suddenly realised just how dark it was outside. Oh, how I miss the days during summer when it was bright at 10pm. This whole getting dark early thing is a bummer.

I sighed, slouching myself down in front of the computer. I sat my elbows on the table rubbing my forehead with my hands in frustration. How the hell am I going to get this essay finished when I don't even know where to start?

I switched on the computer and the light on the screen felt harsh on my face. Yawning, I decided a nap would probably make me feel better. No one can work when their mind is shutting off mentally. I set my alarm for 4am, giving me time to wake up and finish my essay before class started. _Perfect._

I woke up from my sleep to being furiously shaken. For a moment I thought it was an earthquake. I was clinging to my bed, and I opened my eyes to find Jenny looking down at me with a nervous expression.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting up. I felt like I had gotten about 2 hours sleep, like someone had repeatedly wacked me over the head with a file. I rubbed my head, picking my bag of the floor to get some painkillers.

"Class starts in 15 minutes," Jenny said still hovering over my bed. "We're going to be late if you don't get your ass out of bed." I looked over at the clock and ran my head threw my hair when I felt a large object hit me across my forehead.

I looked down to find a banana sitting on my lap. I raised my eyebrow at her and gave her a questioning look. "It's for the journey," she said. Where the hell did it even come from? "Now if you don't get in the bathroom right now I will carry you there."

I laughed. Unfortunately she wasn't kidding. I was being literally dragged by the hand across the room. "Is this necessary?" I asked. I didn't even get a chance to swallow my painkillers. It's her fault if she has too put up with complaints of a headache later.

She shoved me into the bathroom, quickly closing the door behind me before I had the opportunity to make any further comments. "Can I least have some clothes?"

"10 MINUTES!" I heard her shout over the radio playing. I laughed, removing my clothes and jumping into the shower. It was the quickest and most uncomfortable shower of my life. Probably due to the fact Jenny knocked on the door every 30 seconds asking if I was 'decent.'

_No bitch, I'm naked in the shower._

When I finally felt clean enough I dried myself off and wrapped a towel round my body opening the door sneakily, looking out and rushing towards the wardrobe before running back to the bathroom.

I could have sworn I heard Jenny mutter along the lines of 'yeah, you better run.'

I quickly pulled my denim skirt up over my hips, checking the clock every now and then. I had 5 minutes. We could make it to class in 5 minutes, right? I threw my t-shirt over my head, and adding my cream cardigan to go with the cold weather outside. Plus, it was comfortable.

I opened the bathroom door to have my bag tossed to me from the bed. "Nice catch," she said. "Let's go."

"I told you we'd be here on time." I snapped at Jenny. All she spoke about during here was how I should be responsible and how I should have an alarm set if I couldn't wake myself up. I did have an alarm...I just chose not to hear it.

She grunted at me as we took our seats. I had the urge to tell her she sounded like a farm animal but I'm sure that wouldn't go down well.

Mr Northman walked into the lecture room with a familiar smile on his face. He was so attractive and he was intelligent. How unfair is it that he gets to be both? How unfair is that he's not in my bed? _Wait, what? Wandering mind. He's my teacher God dammit. _

"Morning class." He said cheerfully as he reached his desk. I couldn't help but tilt my head and smile at him. I was busy admiring his beauty when a certain reality snapped me back to earth.

"Leave your essay's on the desk please."

Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh bastarding wankpot.

How did I forget about the essay? I precisely remember setting my alarm to wake me up at 4am to write it. Why am I sitting here empty handed? My heart started racing and my throat dried up with nerves. I felt like I was having hot flushes, I felt like slapping myself multiple times to see if this was just some crazy dream.

I looked down at the time, fidgeting with my file, hoping he wouldn't notice the fact I've left nothing on his desk. And he didn't. He was too preoccupied with his lesson plan and he didn't pay any attention to who was or was not leaving the essay on his desk. This buys me time to actually get it done and handed in to him.

The rest of the lesson went by fast. And dare to say it...it was actually interesting. Mr Northman asked a question and I found myself throwing my hand into the air to answer it. He smiled at me and nodded when I was correct. The look he gave me nearly had me on the floor begging to be taken. In a classy way, of course.

The bell ran signalling the end and everyone hurried out of their seats and towards the door. "Are you doing anything with Edward tonight?" Jenny asked. I opened my mouth to respond but I interrupted by a familiar sound.

"Ms Owens."

Oh God. He knew. I should have known he was waiting to confront me after class, especially after our last public display. I swallowed nervously telling Jenny to go on and I made my way over to him.

"Yes, Mr Northman?" I asked, trying to play cool.

"Eric." He corrected me, looking through the piles of essays.

"Then call me Lauren." He looked up at me and let his gaze linger there for a while before returning it to the work handed in.

"I can't seem to find your essay." He told me.

_That's because it is non-existent._

I let out a long breath and decided the best thing I could do was be honest. Well, almost honest. "I haven't finished it." _Started it, _I thought. He looked up at me, a hint of disappointment all over his face. "I sat up to do it last night, but it turns out my body isn't a personal alarm clock." I joked, hoping he'd humour me.

"Why didn't you have it finished before last night?"

"Personal issues." I spat out.

He 'mhmed' and looked down at the essays, like he was contemplating what punishment to give me. I could bend over the table if that would help? No, that wouldn't help anybody. _But it'd be nice._

"You should have come to me about this beforehand." He said, trying to be reasonable. "Are you finding the workload okay?

What did he think I was? Some idiot that couldn't handle a University level course?

"I'm doing fine, thank you." I said trying not to roll my eyes.

He looked up at me, sighing. I wanted to run out of the class to save myself the embarrassment. I didn't want him pitying me, thinking there is something wrong with my intellect. I could handle an essay fine. Just not when I've been out every night of the week.

"I know it's a big adjustment." He said, standing up to be more level with me. But instead he just towered over me. He really was a giant. "I hope you know that you can come to me about this sort of thing." He smiled.

I smiled back and threw my bag over my shoulder, hinting that I wanted this conversation to be over. "I know I can." I told him. "I just got caught up. I'll have your essay in sometime today, I promise."

He looked at me for a moment before nodding. "Then you better get to it."

I smiled at him again before making my way out the door. "I like your cardigan." He said softly. I laughed a little, mumbled 'thank you' because making my way back to my dorm to finish the essay.

I was typing furiously whilst sipping on my red bull. It was 6 o'clock and I promised Mr Northman I'd have his essay in today, I didn't want to keep him waiting. I didn't have much more to finish when Jenny started talking about our plans for the evening.

"We're going to the bar."

"No." I told her. Last time I was there I ended up in bed with Damon. _Maybe I should go. _I didn't want to have to add another one night stand to my list.

"Why not? You enjoyed it last time." She argued.

I did enjoy it. A little too much. And that was the problem. I couldn't trust myself to not end up doing something stupid with the wrong person. For all I know, that could be Damon's hang out. I didn't want to run into him again. _Sort of. _

"I want a night with my bed. I feel like I've been neglecting him."

She laughed at me before pulling at my shoulders. "Please, just come. I promise to pay before attention to you this time." She smiled. "You can bring Edward."

I could. I probably should. I mean, he's invited me out every night this week with him, so it'd only be fair. And after this essay I deserve an award. It's only a little bit of fun. What's the worst that could happen?

"Fine." I said. "But I need to leave this into Mr Northman beforehand."

Jenny nodded vigorously before throwing my phone at me and telling me to invite Edward. I sighed, and did what she told me, then got back to my essay.

"Done!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands into the air in victory. I pressed the print button and made my way towards the wardrobe, deciding on what to wear tonight. It turned out Jenny had already laid her option down on my bed.

"Thanks, Mother." I laughed. I replaced my skirt and t-shirt with a tight black dress and patterned tights.

"You look fabulous." She smiled, walking to the door after hearing a knock on it. I slipped on my heels and tossed my purse and phone into my clutch bag, not wanting to carry anything heavy around this evening.

"Hey, Lauren." Nate smiled with his arm around Jenny's waist. They were quite the pair, they really were. She was so abrupt and feisty, and he was completely laid back. Maybe it worked for them; maybe they balanced each other out. He bent down and giving her a quick kiss on the lips. I smiled at how sweet it was. "You both you look great."

"Thanks." I smiled. "You too."

"Are we meeting Edward here?" Jenny asked me, obviously bored with waiting.

"No, I said we'd meet him at the bar." I told her. "I have to make a pit stop, remember?"

She nodded, clutching onto Nate's hand.

"Edward?" He questioned. "Don't you mean Damon?"

I grabbed my bag quickly and rushed towards the door, pretending I didn't hear him. Although, it was evident to everybody in the room I did, and I'm pretty sure Jenny will be questioning me about it later. _I can't wait. _

The hallway leading to the lecture room was dark when we arrived. It was creepy, being in school during the evening. You were waiting for some murderer to jump out like in those crappy horror movies.

"Wait here." I said when we arrived at the lecture room. "I'll only be a moment." Jenny and Nate were too interested in each other to even respond.

I pushed the door open and let out a sigh of relief when a small light lit up the room slightly. Mr Northman was still sitting at his desk, marking papers it seemed. He looked up when he heard the door creek and his mouth opened slightly, turning into a smile when he seen it was me.

"Sorry," I said. "I didn't think you'd still be here."

"Teacher's Friday nights are that exciting I'm afraid." He laughed. "Unlike yours, it seems." He said, eyeing my outfit. My stomach tightened with the feel of his eyes burning into my stomach, and then my chest. "Going somewhere special?"

I shook my head, nervously. "Just a bar with some friends."

He smiled, taking my essay of me, adding it to the rest of the pile. "That sounds a lot more appealing than what I have planned for the evening." He admitted.

"At least if you get it finished tonight you can relax the rest of your weekend."

He laughed, and I wondered if I had said something wrong. He smiled up at me and coughed lightly. "It doesn't work like that."

"Oh." I said feeling uncomfortable. "That's a shame."

He looked at me once more before turning back to his work. I took that as a signal to leave, so I turned on my heel and made my way towards the door. "Have a nice night." He said from behind me. I didn't say anything back, or even turn to look at him. A part of me hoped that he would be admiring my outfit like he had done earlier.

We arrived at the bar at around 10pm, and it was already crowded with people. Jenny took my arm and pulled me over to what she called 'our usual spot.' I didn't know what she meant by that considering I've only been here once and I can't remember half of that night. _Only the great sex._

Jenny introduced me to her friends, and I recognised Chuck and Serena from the party. I excused myself and made my way towards the bar getting the first drink of the night. I felt a pair of hands on my waist suddenly and a kiss to my cheek. I froze slightly, then quickly turned round to find Edward smiling down at me. _I shouldn't have been disappointed that it was him and not someone else._

He bent down, kissing my lips roughly with passion to which I returned. We broke apart when my drink was placed on the counter. "You look beautiful." He whispered to me. I felt my insides tingle. He really did know how to charm a girl.

"You look handsome, yourself." I smiled, taking his hand and lacing my fingers with his, walking back to the table of people waiting for us.

I sat practically in Edward's lap, partially to give more room to everyone, but mostly because it felt good. He was placing kissing to my neck as I tried to have a conversation with some guy called Dan. It turned out he was a writer too. Small world. I giggled when I felt Edward's teeth grazing across my shoulder. I gave him a playful shove and he laughed, removing me from him, declaring his needed to go to the bathroom.

I glanced round to find Jenny and Nate staring at me as they talked secretively. I raised my eyebrow at them, mouthing 'what?' They both just stared at each other, and then resorted back to talking.

I took a gulp of my drink before setting it back down on the table then relaxing into the seat. I felt a pair of hands over my face, covering my eyes. I laughed assuming it was Edward playing with me again. I felt a hot breath at my ear, which then turned into a nibble.

I let out a quiet moan, then a giggle. "Stop teasing."

He laughed darkly into my ear, speaking in a low voice. "Shall we just get straight to the fun stuff then?"

My stomach flipped, my heart stopped and my breathing caught in my throat. Damon. I pushed his hands off me, turning round to glare at him. He had his signature smirk on his face and his blue eyes were as dazzling as ever. "Are you an idiot? Edward could have seen you." I snapped.

He laughed at me and I suddenly felt the urge to punch him in the balls. "Do I look like I care what Edward thinks?"

"Well you should." I shouted. I didn't realised how close we were to each other until I noticed his eyes glancing down at my lips. "I'm up here!"

"You might want to stop shouting." He smirked again.

"Don't tell me what to do!" I shouted, ignoring him. I gave him a light shove, similar to the one at the party, except this time he didn't move. Not one bit.

He bent down to my ear slowly, making sure I felt his presence. I thought he was going to nibble it again and for a split second, I thought if he did...I would let him.

He remained there, hovering for far too long. I closed my eyes, taking in his scent. He smelt like heaven. "You're causing a scene." He whispered before he snapped his head back to its previous position.

I opened my eyes and narrowed them at him, then glancing around at the table. All eyes were on us. Some weren't as obvious, but others were plainly staring at us. I looked over at Jenny who was raising her eyebrow at me. _Oh shit._ She was watching her roommate and her step brother shamelessly flirt with each other. I jumped off the seat quickly, walking over to Damon, grabbing him by the arm, and pulling him to the other end of the bar.

It was a quiet area, with dim lighting and numerous sofas with cushions. It probably wasn't the best place to be having a serious conversation with him when he could easily push me back and have his way with me. _And it would be comfortable. _

"This looks accommodating." He said, eyeing the sofa, then looking at me like he was trying to hypnotise me into sitting with him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked bluntly, trying to get of the topic of sofa sex.

"You pulled me over here."

"I meant in this bar, jackass." I said rolling my eyes so far back they almost spun a full circle.

He laughed at me and lowered his head. "Does it hurt?" I looked up at him confused. Please don't tell me he was going to try some cheesy chat up line. I thought he was a lot more sophisticated than that.

"A chat up line, really?" I burst into a fit of giggles.

I looked up at him, expecting him to look defeated and embarrassed, but he looked cockier than ever, glaring down at me. "I was talking about your eye roll." He smiled, noticing my expression changing into one of an idiot. "You roll your eyes so much it's amazing they haven't gone into the back of your head."

_You made them go into the back of my head, _I thought.

"Then people shouldn't give me a reason to roll my eyes." I snapped. "Why can't you just give me a simple answer instead of being smart about it?" I questioned him as my annoyance built.

He looked at me for a moment, almost surprised at how often I challenge him. "Edward."

"What about him?" I asked nervously. Why did he have to bring him up all the time? Was he trying to make me feel guilty?

"He invited me tonight." He told me. Of course he did, they're best friends. "I didn't know you were going to be here." He paused a moment before finishing, "If I knew, I wouldn't have came."

Ouch. My face fell and I did my best to try to hide it but he knew that it hurt me because he was shifting awkwardly and looking around him like I wasn't even there. I widened my eyes to stop the tears that were prickling from falling. I sniffed lightly, composing myself before turning my back to him to go back to my friends.

I didn't get very far before he grabbed my wrist and half shouted "wait." I did as he told me, turning back to him glaring up at him with a sour face. He was looking at me like he was searching for something. I was about to pull away when he finally spoke. "I –"

"Lauren, where the hell have you been?" I was snapped out of Damon's stare when I heard Jenny yelling at me from behind me. She looked angry, almost disappointed. Like Mr Northman had earlier. _I haven't done anything wrong, _I told myself repeatedly.

"Nowhere, I needed the bathroom." I mumbled, even though I knew the bathroom was at the other side of the bar. Apparently so did Jenny because she shook her head at me. She really was like my Mother.

"Edward's been looking for you." She said quietly, frowning.

I nodded, walking past her towards the table. She was glaring at Damon as I did so. It wouldn't surprise me if she punched him in the face. Part of me hoped she would.

When I reached the table, Edward jumped up and hurried over to me like he hadn't seen me in days. I half smiled at him when he set his hands on my arms, brushing the fingertips of his left hand up and down. "Where have you been?" He asked, looking over my shoulder with a firm face.

I looked behind me to find Jenny and Damon stalking towards the table. I tensed at the thought he knew everything. I imagined how much it would hurt, and how embarrassed he would be. I turned my attention back to him and brushed my fingers threw his hair.

"Lauren, where have you been?" He asked again, looking for an answer.

"I needed a smoke." I spat out.

I don't know why I said it, or what even possessed me to say it but it seemed like a good idea at the time. It was a common thing. It wasn't like I told him I was selling drugs on the street corner. _Or flirting with his best friend._

"Cigarettes?" His eyes widened with surprise.

"Cigars." I replied so naturally that a lie detector test would have believed me. "Occasionally." I finished. I didn't want him to think I was a chain smoker that was constantly having cravings for the next puff.

"My dad lets me smoke cigars at Christmas." He told me. I nodded, unsure of what I was supposed to say to that. Would congratulations work? Or maybe a simple 'well done.'

"Cool."

He took my hand directing us back to our previous seats. Unfortunately now Damon was sitting at the opposite side of him and Jenny had decided that she and Nate needed to move to be close to me.

"Can we talk?" Jenny whispered in my ear.

I looked at her with a face that screamed 'pity me.' "Do we have to?" I asked, pouting at her. She wasn't taking any of it as a joke; her face was sterner than ever.

I gestured my hand towards the door so we could talk privately. This was not a conversation I wanted to have in front of Edward. She nodded and made her way out of the seating area to which I followed.

"What are you doing?" She said harshly when we reached our destination. She had her hands on her hips tightly and I could see the small muscles in her arms tensing.

"What?" I played dumb, but I knew exactly what she was getting at.

She narrowed her eyes at me which made her look even angrier. "Don't play games, Lauren." She said my name as if it was something you'd find in the toilet. "Why were you talking to my step brother?"

I rolled my eyes and slowly paced because I couldn't handle standing in one position whilst being targeted at. "I didn't know I wasn't allowed to speak to the male species."

"Nate told me that he was the guy you were kissing at the party." She said as though it was a question, but I didn't answer it. "Damon."

His name gave me shivers. How is it possible that someone can have that much of an effect on you that their name is enough to make you swoon? "Nate was mistaken." I lied. It was becoming a habit of mine.

"You're lying."

Jenny sighed, letting her guard down. "I don't want to fight. I want you to be honest with me. I don't even care that's he's related to me." She walked towards me and put her hand on my shoulder in a friendly gesture. "Whatever mess you've gotten yourself in, I can help you get out of it."

I lowered my head. I didn't want her to be able to read my emotions like Damon did earlier. My vulnerability is not something like I like to share, especially with people I've known for a week.

"Damon was the guy I hooked up with last Friday, at that party." I told her, to which she nodded for me to go on but I could see the disgust all over her face. I hoped it was because the thought of a family member having sex grossed her out. "I started dating Edward on the Monday. I didn't know they were friends."

"That's kind of an awkward situation, isn't it?"

"It doesn't have to be. People have one night stands all the time." I paused. "But –"

"But Damon won't leave you alone?" She asked. I nodded with a frown, looking up when I felt the prickly tears fill my eyes again. I blinked a few times to get rid of them. "That doesn't sound like him. He's not usually that...persistent. Do you have feelings for him?"

I didn't know the answer to the question. I'd like to be able to say no but then why do I get so uptight when he's around? Why do I constantly question my morals with him? _Why does he make me feel things that Edward doesn't?_

"I'm attracted to him." I replied honestly. "Really attracted."

"Well, I suppose he's hot." She laughed, earning a smile from me. "You need to focus on you and Edward for now. Have a clean break from Damon. Then you can decide what you want."

"But Damon has a way with appearing unexpectedly."

"Then don't go to any crazy house parties, and most certainly don't go to this bar. Your dorm room is the safest place." She said.

The prospect of sitting in my dorm room hiding from guy made me shake my head in disgust. I shouldn't let someone get me to this point. Especially when they clearly don't care about my feelings. Damon made that perfectly clear earlier.

"Or you can do it like Noah did. Two by two." She said whilst laughing.

_It wasn't actually that bad of an idea._

"I think I'm going to head back with Jenny." I shouted over the music to Edward. The night was nearing to a close and I didn't want to deal with any awkward goodbyes. _Especially when Damon was glaring at me just a metre away. _

Edward looked up at me and frowned. "Don't go."

"I'm really tired. I'm still adjusting to the college life." I admitted.

He nodded and pulled me in for a quick kiss to which I deepened because I knew Damon would have been watching. When we pulled apart I leant my forehead against his and smiled.

"I like you." Edward mumbled.

I giggled quietly at the significance of those words. "I like you too."

"I'd like it if...maybe..."

"Spit it out." I gave him a light, playful shove urging him to continue.

"Do you want to make this dating thing official?" He tripped over his words because he had rushed to get it out so fast. He had one eye half closed, like he was embarrassed that I was going to turn him down.

I threw my arms over his shoulders and gave him a light squeeze. I was looking directly at Damon, and he was glaring back at me with the same piercing eyes that hypnotised me earlier tonight. "I'd love to make us dating official." I said it loud enough so Damon could hear and he did.

He looked away with a forced smile whilst shaking his head. I took my arms off Edward's shoulders, giving him another kiss before making my way to the exit.

I took one last look over my shoulder and linked eyes with Damon. And he was still smirking.

**I don't own any characters apart from Lauren. **


	5. Chapter 5

_Italtics are a flashback _

**Chapter 5**

Three weeks had pasted since me and Edward made our dating official. It was the honeymoon, handholding, cuddling stage lovey-dovey stage. You know the stage that everyone gushes about in those romantic comedies that are so predictable but you can't help but tear up during them?

We had become so comfortable with each other that we were starting to finish each other's sentences and I'd find myself staring at him just because it made me smile. I had gotten to that place with him so quickly that it almost frightened me a little. I had been in New York for a month, and in that month I had hoped to make a few friends, maybe get a part time job or pick out my favourite bar. But instead I'd already bagged myself a boy.

I was happy. I was. I mean, who wouldn't be? Edward's wonderful. He opens the cab door for me, calls me every night before I go to bed and compliments my appearance more than I'd expect. But I couldn't help but feel...apprehensive. I'd tell myself that it's normal for someone to feel scared in the beginning of a relationship. Everyone worries about getting hurt, or moving too fast, or making the wrong choice. It was normal. It's supposed to be thrilling and exciting, and the best part of the relationship. Until it all goes downhill after.

But I couldn't help but wonder why when I'm lying awake every night that I feel like I'm being forced into this just to save myself from...him. It always comes down to him, doesn't it? I don't know why, I don't even like him. He's a jack ass. He makes me want to break things, preferably his face so it won't look as pretty anymore. It's gotten to the point that it's even pissing Jenny off. But that's probably because I woke her up frantically one night after being a little vocal.

"_This is disgusting, traumatizing, revolting." Jenny moaned, slamming her hands into her mattress in frustration. "I feel disturbed." _

"_It's not that big of a deal." I rolled my eyes lying back down on my bed, attempting to get the sleep I had set out for before she slapped me furiously in order to wake me up. I'm a heavy sleeper, so you can imagine the force she used._

"_You were moaning my brother's name in your sleep." She stated. "That's beyond a big deal." I laughed and switched the light back off. _

_There was a moment of silence before she chirped up again. "Was it any good?"_

I was slightly ashamed of myself for letting my imagination run with me. It wasn't like Damon had given me any fuel for my erotic fantasies. I hadn't seen him since the night at the bar. Jenny had been on guard, making sure I didn't come into contact with him. She was doing a good job of it, which was why I'm spending my Friday evening on a double date with her, Nate and Edward at a little restaurant in Brooklyn.

Edward ordered for me like he always did, he'd rest his arm around my waist which had now become his favourite place and he'd speak about me like he'd known me my whole life. "You love diet coke, don't you, Lauren?" he asked with a smile. I'd nod and return the gesture to be polite before staring back at my food. It had almost become a routine. It wouldn't be as creepy if he'd actually known me my whole life. But I accepted it as something that comes with relationships.

We'd all finished our meals and had settled into light conversation whilst zipping on cocktails.

"I forgot to mention earlier," Edward said enthusiastically, "Are you guys doing anything for Halloween?"

_I hadn't did anything for Halloween since I was 10_, I felt like saying. But instead I shook my head, urging him to continue.

"I'm not sure yet," Jenny said. "I'll check my calendar." I wasn't sure if she was being serious or sarcastic. I chose not to contemplate it.

"Well, if you're free you should come with me and Lauren to this party." Edward smiled. Oh, that's funny...he never mentioned a party to me. I'm supposed to just go along with whatever he was doing because I'm his girlfriend. I scoffed loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Whose party is it?" Jenny asked, eyeing me up.

"Damon's."

And it gets worse. He has decided that I am going to spend my Halloween at a party full of drunken slutty people and the guy who I've been trying to avoid. Why don't you just invite my parents Edward? Or maybe Mr Northman. Let's make it as awkward as possible.

Jenny's vision met with mine in a worried glance. "Lauren, are you sure you can make it? We have that really big presentation to do."

I see where she was going with this. I was mentally kissing her and her brilliance. Where would I be without her? I nodded furiously, playing along. "I forgot about that, I might have to skip this one Edward." I said, pouting at him.

He narrowed his eyes at me, like I had just said no to his marriage proposal. I was about to defend myself when Nate decided to wanted to chime in.

"You sure it's not just 'cause you don't want to run into Damon?"

Did he really just say that? Both mine and Jenny's heads snapped round to glare at him in confusion. I furrowed my eyebrows at him giving him a questioning look. What in the right mind possessed him to say that? Was he dropped on the head as a child? Or did he secretly hate me and want to ruin my life?

Edward looked at me and tilted his head. "Why wouldn't she want to run into Damon?" His gaze shifted from mine to Nate's, and occasionally to Jenny's. "They're friends, right?"

I swallowed at the mentioning of Damon being my friend. My face heated up at the thought of Edward knowing everything. I was so content in our relationship that the moment it all felt like it was going to end I wanted to get on my knees and plead for him to forgive me.

I was snapped back to earth by Edward staring at me with an angry expression whilst he half shouted my name. "Lauren, why wouldn't you want to run into Damon?" I looked back at him, staring into his eyes. He looked frightened, angry and hurt. I hadn't even told him the worst part yet.

"I-" I stammered.

"Just tell him." Jenny snapped.

I glared at her sourly. I wanted her to keep her nose out of it. This had nothing to do with anyone else, yet it was other people that were ruining everything. People need to learn to mind their own business.

I was arguing with myself because I wanted to find a reason for him not to hate me.

"Edward, let's go outside and talk." I said, pulling at his hand whilst getting up to walk towards the exit of the restaurant. He followed by movements, yet his grip on my hand felt different, less passionate than it used to.

I spent the next fifteen minutes pacing the outside of the restaurant, doing obscene hand gestures and numerous pouty faces while explaining to Edward my 'relationship' with his best friend. I did my best not to make things graphic, for both of our benefits, I emphasised on the fact that I didn't know their friendship at that point, and if I did I wouldn't have gone there. _Hopefully. _

When I had finished my speech, I took a breath and looked up at him trying to analyse his face. But he wasn't giving off any emotions. He was standing their looking at me blankly; it was like he didn't even care.

"You like him, don't you?" He asked, quietly.

"What?" I exclaimed. "Why would you even ask that? Of course not. Of course I don't. That's crazy."

I said that sentence so fast that I heard in my own head how unconvincing it was. I looked at the ground ashamed. "Are you breaking up with me?"

There was a moment of silence. Even in the loudest city in the world, it had never felt quieter. It was uncomfortable and painful. I wanted to run back to my dorm just to get away from it all. I'd even jump on the next plain to Ohio. _It was that bad._

"I don't know." He said.

I looked up at him with hope glistening in my eyes. I walked towards him to hug him but he shuffled backwards. I guess he hasn't forgiven me completely. I frowned at the thought of it.

"You should go to the party." He said in a rough voice. "Without me."

"What?" I asked. Was he crazy? Why would I want to do that? Why would he want me to do that? I didn't know what else to say to him so I slipped out a faint 'why?' It pretty much covered everything I wanted to say.

"You need to work out if you have feelings for him." He said honestly.

"How is a party going to do that?" I questioned him. My voice had become strained from the frustration and the strength in holding back the tears that I didn't know where there. I looked at him pleading for him to understand.

"If you can come back from the party and honestly tell me you feel nothing for him, then I'll move past this." He said, ignoring my question. I wanted to slap him across the face. I didn't like being told what to do, and I didn't like how reasonable he was being. He should be furious. "You can go with Jenny or something."

I frowned, lowering my head. He walked towards me, standing right in front of me. I could smell his aftershave and it felt like it was burning my insides. I closed my eyes as one tear dropped down the side of my face. I felt his lips on my forehead as he rested his hands on my shoulders.

"How will you know if I'm not just lying?" I asked, looking up at him through my blurred vision.

He smiled, letting go of my shoulders. "I'll just have to trust you."

I let out a sound that sounded like a weak sob. He whispered to me 'goodnight' before jumping into a cab I didn't notice was there. I wiped my eyes before walking back into the restaurant to the couple left waiting.

"Is everything okay?" Jenny asked. "What happened?"

"We have a party to go to on Sunday night."

It was the night of the party that I had been anxiously waiting for since my conversation with Edward. I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I didn't have feelings for Damon and this party would be a slap in the face to anyone who ever doubted that.

"Are you sure about this?" Jenny questioned me as she glued on her fake eyelashes. She was dressed as a punk hooker. It honestly didn't surprise me, given the fact she dressed like that every day. But in a more tame way. She had a leather skirt on with suspenders and ripped tights, finishing her look with long black heels and a top that barely covered her chest. She somehow managed to pull it off, as much as a slutty prostitute can.

I couldn't help but wonder if she got the message that this was a masquerade party, but I decided not to question her about it.

"I have to." I told her. "It's the only way to prove Edward wrong."

"Or right." She mumbled under her breath.

I sighed, turning my attention from my make up to her. "You have to promise me that if I do prove him right, which I won't, that you won't get in the way."

"You want me to let you throw yourself at my brother?" She questioned.

_Yes, _I thought. I'd been thinking about it a lot, about him a lot. I haven't seen him in 3 weeks. What if he's changed? What if he has a girlfriend? Or maybe he's turned gay? I was supposed to be doing this for Edward, but I couldn't help but feel excited at the prospect of seeing Damon.

"Look, I'll let you do your thing. But I'm not going to let Damon take advantage of you." Jenny promised. "I know what he's like."

I shivered at the thought of him being the way he is with me with other girls. I mean, obviously I know I'm not the only person he'd charmed into bed but part of me thought that we had something under the surface.

"Fine." I huffed. "How do I look? Is it masquerade appropriate?"

I did a twirl in my outfit showing it off in all angles. I was wearing a tight blue silk corset dress which was patterned in black lace pushing up my cleavage. I decided to let my legs go on show tonight and covered up my arms in lace gloves matching the rest of my outfit. I was wondering how long I'd last in the huge heels Jenny had let be borrow given the fact they were killing me already.

"Gorgeous." Jenny said in a New York accent. "It's sexy but not too slutty. I'm sure Damon will love it."

_It'll look good on his bedroom floor._

When I walked into Damon's apartment I was hit with a mixture of emotions. One being that I felt disgusted looking at the half naked women running about with no shame, and then remembering that I probably looked exactly the same. Another being the familiar feeling as I remembered the last time I was here. I could almost hear the moans and growls in my head as if it were happening all over again.

Jenny had invited Nate with her as a punishment for opening his big mouth in front of Edward. He'd apologized so much that I forgave him just to shut him up. We pushed our way through the crowds of people when Nate declared he seen a friend as he left us in the living room.

"Nervous?" Jenny questioned whilst zipping on vodka I didn't even realize she had.

"What do I have to be nervous about?" I shouted over the music. I looked round the house full of people subtly trying to get a glimpse of him. I wanted to see what he would wear; I'm guessing it will still be something black and leather. It was hard to find him through the amount of people wearing masks.

My heart skipped a beat when my line of vision found who it was looking for. He was wearing a tight black shirt that was clinging to his body perfectly, and his dark jeans. The only thing masquerade about him was the mask he was carrying about in his hand. And here I was standing in a corset basically begging to be taken.

He had his arm around a dark haired girl and he was laughing into her ear as she played with the buttons on his shirt. A flame of jealousy rushed over my body and I desperately wanted to run over there and throw the stupid bitch out of the window. Instead I resorted to snatching the bottle of vodka out of Jenny's hand and taking a large gulp despite the burny aftertaste.

I handed the bottle back to her and wiped my mouth. She laughed at me putting whilst placing it back into her bag. "You're not nervous at all." She said sarcastically.

I ignored her and returned my gaze to Damon. I nearly collapsed on the spot when I realized he was watching me too. He pushed the dark haired girl off his body and stormed his way through the crowd. He had a serious expression, and part of me thought he was going to tell me to get out.

"He's coming over." I whispered to Jenny and she whipped round so fast she almost hit some guy in the face.

Before I knew it Damon was stood directly in front of me, glaring down at my outfit before looking back into my eyes. I nearly ripped my clothes off then and there. But that entire situation would have been nothing but awkward. His soft expression soon turned back into the smirk I remember from the last time I seen him.

"Couldn't stay away, huh?"

"Not exactly. Edward invited me." I said, earning a scowl from him. He was most certainly jealous.

"Then where is Mr Perfect?" He questioned. "Did you two have a lovers' quarrel? "

"No!" I practically shouted. He laughed at me before walking towards the bar signalling us to follow him, which we did. He pulled out a bottle of vodka and tugged at the cap, pulling it off aggressively. _Why did I find that so hot? _He

"I wouldn't want you sharing my sister's drink all night." He handed the bottle to me which earned a snarl from Jenny beside me. "I hear you like it strong." The deepness off his voice was sending shivers through my entire body. It had been so long since I'd heard him speak and this may be our first normal conversation.

He brought his bottle up to his mouth before glancing at my chest for about the hundredth time in the past 5 minutes. "You look incredible." He said, shaking his head as though he was shaking the thoughts he was having out of his head. "You didn't have to dress up for me though." He smirked taking a zip of his beer.

I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. At least not before Jenny stepped in. "What about me, bro?" She asked. "Aren't you going to tell me how hot I look?"

He tore his eyes off me and laughed with his step sister. "You look like a hooker." He said, putting it harshly. Jenny gave him a hard slap across his arm to which he held onto like he'd been beaten with a baseball bat. "A high class hooker. You could totally go for $200 a fuck."

"Is that how much you pay your sluts?" Jenny snapped.

"I don't know, why don't you ask Lauren? It didn't take much for her to crawl into my bed."

"How do you know you weren't just a hooker I used to satisfy my needs?" I asked and he looked taken back, surprised by my forwardness. "Women do have needs, you know. But I do recall you finding it difficult to...please." I said with a fake smile.

"Why am I being picked on?" He asked, holding his hand to his heart and pouting like a little girl. It only made me want to attack his lips with mine.

"Because you're an asshole." Jenny told him. I laughed at his obviousness. Clearly he wasn't told off very often, or maybe he's just clueless to what people think about him. "You think you are fucking glorious."

"And I am." He smiled.

I smiled back at him unconsciously. Jenny groaned, grabbing her stuff and walking towards Nate and his group of friends. I turned to follow her when I felt Damon's hands resting on my hips. My eyes closed involuntarily as he rubbed his groin against my bottom. He bent down, hovering above my ear, pushing my hair out of the way so he could gain access.

"Find me later tonight." He half moaned before brushing past me and leaving me standing there breathless.

"Are you enjoying the class?"

I'd somehow managed to strike up another conversation with probably the most boring person in the planet. Dan was the kind of person that could spend hours talking about the weather. But instead he has decided to talk about college. Just what I want to spend my days off doing.

"Yeah, I mean...it's really interesting. I'm learning a lot." I smiled.

"I'd love to read your stuff some time." _What stuff? I don't have any stuff for you to read_, I thought. "I've actually had some things published in the New Yorker." He said with a smirk. The smugness was all over his face like some disgusting fungus that had infected his skin. I nodded to him and gave my best 'wow' face.

He continued talking about the differences between fiction and non-fiction. I was half listening as I looked round the room to find Damon looking at me whilst laughing. I raised my eyebrow at him to which he did a heart shape with his hands.

"Dickhead." I muttered quietly under my breath.

"Excuse me?" Dan asked, startled. I should really work on the whole muttering swear words in front of people. It turns out they just get offended.

"Not you." I said with a smile, patting him on his arm. I paused for a moment before deciding to question him a little bit to see what information I could get. "How do you know Damon?"

He took a gulp of his drink before taking a moment to think, either to remember when he met him or try and remember who Damon is. "I used to go to high school with him." I didn't see that one coming. I thought it was going to be 'he nailed my ex girlfriend' or 'I met him in jail.'

"Is he a good guy?" I asked whilst zipping on my vodka and coke. I didn't want Dan to question my behaviour so I tried to be as laid back as possible. But from the look on his face he was confused as to why I was all of a sudden so interested.

"That depends." He said in a low voice.

"On what?" I stepped closer to his body because it was getting difficult to hear him over the music.

"What you think is good." He said before looking at Damon then back to me. It was like they were having some secret boy to boy telepathy thing going on. "Why do you ask?"

"No reason." I said, wanting to get out of this topic as fast as possible. I've probably gotten myself in too deep as it is. I heard some cheers coming from the kitchen. "Excuse me." I said, leaving Dan to himself so I could see what all the commotion is about.

The kitchen was quite a sight. Jenny was lying on the counter top having some girl lick shots off her stomach. A bunch of people were crowded round them, joining in with laughter. People were taking turns and I couldn't help but laugh when Nate choked after sucking on the lime a little too hard.

"Having fun?" I asked Jenny as she rolled off the counter, gaining her composure whilst she wiped the rest of the wetness off her stomach. _Lovely._

"So much." She said throwing her hands into the air in a cheerleader like manner. "Here!" She exclaimed shoving a shot into my hand so forcefully it nearly spilled all over me. "You should try it. It tickles but it's sooooooooo hot."

"I don't know any of these people." I laughed.

"Neither do I!" She half shouted. "Don't be a pussy."

"Yeah, Lauren. Don't be a pussy." Damon joked from behind me. My eyes were rolling just at the tone of his voice. It was that easy for him to piss me off; all he had to do was speak. I didn't even have to look at him.

"Shut up, Damon. No one asked you." Jenny declared before walking back to cling to Nate. I couldn't help but laugh at her drunken behaviour.

"We both know you'll never get up there." Damon said still standing behind me but his proximity was closer than before. I could feel the heat radiating off his body and it was making my palms sweaty. I desperately wanted to lean back and relax into him. "You don't have the balls to do it."

That was it. I turned round to him, bringing the shot glass Jenny had given me up to my mouth, necking it back in one go before smirking at him then walking over to the counter. I climbed on top of it, zipping my dress down a little bit to give whoever would be licking at my flesh some room. The alcohol was cool on my skin and all I could smell was lime. It was so strong I thought my eyes were going to burn. Damon walked closer to the counter, glaring down at my exposed body before looking at me in the eyes with a smile on his face.

I felt someone's warm lips on my chest. It was a dark haired girl who was clearly intoxicated because I don't know what the hell she was doing with her tongue but it wasn't nice. I rested my head and closed my eyes. When she was finished I jumped off the counter, zipping my dress back up. I grabbed the bottle of vodka sitting beside the fridge before stalking over to Damon.

"Who's got the balls now?" I asked, taking a swig of my drink and walking back into the living room. I could feel his eyes on me the entire time so I decided to wiggle my hips more than I usually did.

It was now the early hours of the morning and I was most definitely feeling the effect of the alcohol. My shoes had come off and I had no clue where I'd left them but I didn't care. I was dancing in the middle of the living room with Jenny as the Millionaires blared over the speakers. I made a mental note to commend Damon on his music taste later.

As the song came to an end, following into the next one Jenny left me alone saying she needed a refill. I nodded continuing to move to the music. I felt a pair of hands on my hips again. I turned round immediately, resting my hands on the broad shoulders in front of me. Damon was looking down at me smiling.

"That's not fair." He moaned.

"What isn't?" I asked moving us both although he wasn't moving very much. I guess he didn't like dancing. His hands had moved to my bottom and I thought about removing them but I let them linger for a bit longer.

"I've been watching you all night." He whispered into my face. I didn't notice how close he was until now. His lips were nearly grazing mine. "You've been dancing like this to show me what I've been missing."

I laughed, leaning back a little bit. It was hard to focus when he was this close. "I've been dancing because it's fun." I told him. "I didn't know you were watching, nor did I care."

He narrowed his eyes, still smiling at me. He gripped me tighter, pulling me close once again. I decided not to fight it because his body felt good against mine. "I missed you." He said quietly and I swore I could feel my heart coming out of my chest. It wouldn't surprise me if he could feel it too. "You know it's been three weeks?"

I nodded half smiling, not looking at him. "Yes."

"Far too long." He said each word like it was its own sentence. I couldn't handle it anymore, the distance between us was miniature but it felt like a lifetime away. I closed my lips over his harshly. I was drunk and it was sloppy but I needed him to feel what he was doing to me. I was pulling on his shirt desperately; until he pulled away breathless and he muttered my name. I grabbed his hand and tugged him towards his bedroom. For some reason I was able to remember where it was, even though I was so drunk I couldn't walk straight.

When we reached his bedroom I closed the door behind him aggressively before shoving him against it with a bang. I pressed my lips against his before he could protest. I needed this and I didn't want anyone or anything coming between it. If Edward wanted me to admit my feelings then I would.

He grabbed my legs and I wrapped my round his waist as he carried me to his bed whilst he left numerous kisses along my neck to my collar bone. I was breathing heavily and sighing his name so much I was beginning to sound like a broken record. He lay down on the bed and I fell clumsily on top of him. His hands traced my exposed legs quickly; I could feel them shaking nervously.

I felt his hands pulling down the zip of my dress. I sat up, still straddling him and pulled it down for him before throwing it to the floor. I didn't want foreplay so I told him to undress himself and I did the same ripping off my underwear and adding it to the pile.

I heard him grunt when he saw my naked figure. "Fuck." I pushed him back down onto the bed and pressed my legs against his, tracing my tongue against his bottom lip before he opened his mouth and we were kissing so passionately it was like a war against each other.

He reached out to his bed side table pulling out a packet and handed it to him. I shifted slightly, earning moan from him and placed the condom on him before quickly lowering myself down onto him. I let out a loud breath and took a moment to myself before moving.

"You okay?" He asked, his hands rubbing up and down my naked back.

"Yes." I said before moving my hips in a swivel and that shut us both up for the rest of the night. We moved quickly together almost repeating our first time together. He was soon hovering over me, gaining the dominance and I didn't care. I pulled him down by the neck as he thrust into me fast. I moaned into his mouth and pleaded into his ear desperate for my release.

My hands travelled south, grabbing onto his back side and squeezing it. I felt that familiar feeling bubbling up within me and I knew he was close too because his thrusts were getting lazy. I moved my hips up into his and we reached our peaks at the same time. He rode out our orgasms as we regained our breaths. He rolled off me and I lay there with my hands on my stomach.

"You're not going to run off again, are you?" He asked, staring at me from the other side of the bed.

I fought the urge to jump out of the bed and dress myself again. I looked back at him and smiled before rolling on my side. He did the same and rubbed his hand up my side admiring my naked form while he had the chance.

He looked up at me and then it hit me. Like a ton of bricks. I like him. It was more than a physical attraction. I truly felt something for him, something I couldn't explain or even begin to understand. I felt guilty being with Edward because I was falling for somebody else, somebody that I probably could never have a substantial relationship with.

I climbed back on top of him and kissed him lightly. I opened my mouth to tell him but decided not to ruin the evening. "Round two?" I asked.

He laughed and rolled me over attacking my neck again. "God, yes."

And that is how we would spend the rest of the night.

**I don't own any characters apart from Lauren. And I hate writing sex scenes D; **


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was impossible to sleep in when the sounds of New York City are playing through the opened window like an alarm clock ringing against your skull. It makes the whole waking up with a pounding headache thing a lot more difficult. I was pretty content with my location. It was comfortable and the softness of the pillow was doing wonders in keeping my pain to a minimum.

A knock on the door was my final wakeup call as I rolled over in the bed to find it empty. It wasn't empty last night, I significantly remember there being a man in the bed before I fell asleep. In fact, I remember that man being Damon. I looked down at my naked figure and my thoughts were instantly confirmed. I had sex with Damon. Again. Except this time I didn't run off, and I didn't want too.

_I have feelings for him,_ I remembered.

Sleeping with Damon again awakened my true feelings for him and I was going to tell him. Well, that's what I had planned last night before I passed out in his arms after passionately kissing and doing other...things until five in the morning. We both decided that it was time to get some rest then.

"Come in." I shouted, sitting up, pulling the blanket with me so it covered my body which was exposed to anyone who had walked into the room mere seconds ago. The door opened with a squeak and the dark haired boy who I spent the night with appeared in front of the door, carrying two cups of coffee.

I smiled and imagined what it would be like to wake up to this every morning, rather than Jenny's need to blast heavy metal first thing. I shook the thoughts out of my head before I got carried away with the differences of reality and fantasy.

"Morning." Damon grunted, handing me a cup of coffee. His hangover was apparent as he ran his hands through his hair, rubbing his forehead every chance he got. He looked so adorable in his grey sweat pants, but my gaze couldn't help but linger on his bare chest which was so defined that he could easily be an underwear model.

I zipped on the coffee and it went straight to my head causing me to moan in agony. I set the coffee down on the bed side table and shifted awkwardly at the silence that filled the room. He needed to speak, like now, or I would have to do another break free. This was the kind of thing I wanted to avoid. The awkward morning after conversation. It dawned on me that Damon mustn't do it very often. Most of the girls he had in his bed were kicked out before they were given the chance.

But here we were, I was still in his bed and he just made me a cup of coffee. I don't know if it's just my imagination but I'd say that is very boyfriend like behaviour.

"Are you naked under there?"

And my romantic fantasy was short lived. I looked up at him and let out a small laugh. Was he really that stupid? He was under the covers with me not long ago; you'd think he could have come to that conclusion by himself.

"I'm as naked as I was when you were in the bed with me."

"Just curious." He said whilst zipping on his coffee. His tongue darted out to lick his lips and I couldn't help but remember the things it was doing to me last night. He really had a very talented mouth. "I could take my clothes off again if it makes you feel more comfortable. I mean, I'm practically naked right now. I've nothing on under my sweats."

My legs voluntarily opened at the thought. I wasn't sure if he was doing it just to tease me, but his face was so serious that I am convinced he was being sincere. I laughed at him and shook my head, shimmying over to make room in the bed for him. He took the hint and sat down beside me, leaning his head against the wall.

"Bad hangover?" I asked.

"Yes." He groaned, and then reverted his gaze to me smirking. "Plus, someone had me up all hours of the morning."

I laughed looking down at my hands. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who hadn't been able to stop thinking about the previous evening, or hours. The worst thing about giving yourself into Damon was that you never know where you stand. It's like it's physically impossible for him to tell you what he wants. Or maybe he really just is a jackass that likes sex.

"You regret it?" It slipped out before I even thought about the words I had used.

He stared at me like I had asked him if he needed air to live. I looked away embarrassed at how my question had come across. I shouldn't even be questioning him about it in the first place. "I never regret sex." He said with a light chuckle. "Besides, I've been dying to get you back in my bed since the night of the party."

I laughed at his bluntness and he turned towards me setting his hand on my thigh over the covers. I swallowed loudly as the feel of the heat of his hand radiated of my leg like he had just set me on fire from a simple touch. He moved his hand slowly upwards making sure he grazed every inch of my body. I tensed at the feeling, trying not to show how he was making he feel. His hand reached the covers which lay loosely across my chest; he slipped his hand inside pulling the covers down in the most infuriating pace.

I was naked in front of him once again. I didn't move as his hand traced lightly down my chest, then my stomach, until it was hovering over my waist. I looked from his hand to him. He was watching me which lust burning in his eyes. I licked my lips and placed my hand on his neck pulling him towards me until our lips connected with a kiss. I was massaging his lips with mine passionately plunging my tongue into his mouth. I let out a deep moan when his hand slipped lower until it was directly in between my lips parting me completely.

I groaned loudly pulling my lips from his and resting it against the headboard. I opened my legs wider and he pushed his fingers into me deeper. He connected his lips to my neck and I couldn't help but pant loudly at what he was making me feel. I could hear him faintly muttering something into my neck but it was impossible to focus on words when I couldn't even form a coherent sentence.

As much as I was enjoying what he was doing to me, I couldn't help but wonder what this was. Was it just sex? Is that all it would ever be? I needed to know, not only for myself, but because I was going to have to give Edward an answer and I'm sure he wouldn't want to hear that we were fuck buddies.

"Damon." I said half moaning half trying to get his attention. "Damon, we nee...need to talk. Oh God." I was pushing at his chest, trying to make him sit up but his lips had decided to wander down to my chest. "Damon!"

"Later." He groaned loudly.

I grabbed his wrist making his movements come to a stop. I regretted it instantly but decided it was the best thing to do. We couldn't continue this without talking about it first. He looked up at me confused, noticing my expression and sat up beside me removing his hand from between my legs.

"What's wrong?" He questioned with a worried look on his face, like I was going to take his favourite toy away from him.

"We need to talk about this." I said sighing, hoping he would understand and not run off like a scared little boy unable to have a serious conversation with a female. I was pleasantly surprised when he nodded, urging me to continue. "Where is this going?" I asked.

"I don't know." He said honestly. It wasn't exactly what I wanted to hear, but at least he was being truthful with me. "I just know I don't want it to stop."

I took a moment to take in his words. He could mean so much when he says that. It could be interpreted in so many ways. It wasn't making this conversation any easier. "So you-"

"I want to keep having sex." He interrupted. _Yeah, that's what I thought. _

I nodded and looked away. I didn't know what to say to that. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but I didn't expect any less. This was the reason I didn't want to feel anything for him. Because he will never be able to commit to anything but himself.

"What about you?" He asked when the silence was beginning to fill the room again. I took a moment before answering. I looked over at him and I found myself smiling instantly. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, no. But being this close to him made me feel things that my relationship with Edward never had. I couldn't turn something that real down. I'd never forgive myself if I did.

"Me too." I smiled. He raised his eyebrow, unsure on what I mean. I bent forward kissing him softly. "I want to keep having sex too."

I tugged at his shoulders pulling him closer to me. He looked directly in my eyes like he was trying to read me. He was always trying to read me. "Are you sure?" He whispered. I smiled at him and pulled him into a hard kiss, tugging at his hair.

"Please get your hand back to where it was before." I pleaded and he happily obliged.

I had just finished cleaning myself up in Damon's bathroom and walked out into his living room to find Jenny lying across Nate on the couch as he nursed her forehead with an icepack. I didn't even know that they had spent the night, or if anyone else did for that matter.

"You look dead." I laughed looking down at my roommate. She really did. Given the fact we didn't have any change of clothes, she was still dressed in her hooker outfit. I, fortunately, was dressed in a baggy t-shirt and sweats courtesy of Damon's wardrobe.

"Thanks." She groaned, sitting up from her boyfriends lap. "Nice outfit." She glared at me. If I know that look I'm pretty sure me and her will be having a conversation when we get home. And not the kind I have any choice in.

Damon appeared out of his bedroom and laughed when he seen the hungover couple draped over his couch. He really had a cute laugh. "You alright, sis? Looks like you had a tough night on call." She threw the cushion across the room furiously, hitting Damon up the face with it as the cups in his hands dropped to the floor. "Well done." He moaned, picking them up and walking towards the kitchen.

"I wouldn't be forced to attack you if you weren't such a sarcastic dick."

He glared at me on the way, smacking my ass when he walked past me. "Nice outfit." He muttered loud enough for everyone to hear. I'm pretty sure I heard Jenny mumble 'gross' under her breath.

"Got any spare clothes for me?" Jenny asked with a fake smile.

"Nope, sorry." Damon lied. He was treading on egg shells. I could see Jenny's hands turning into fists and it wouldn't surprise me if she launched herself at him. "Your outfit looks pretty similar to your normal clothes so nobody will know the differences."

Jenny pounced out of her seat groaning loudly. "Let's go. I can't stand being near him for another second." Nate followed her movements whilst laughing. It turns out Jenny was the only one that took Damon's jokes seriously. Even her aloof boyfriend was able to appreciate his humour. "You coming, Lauren?"

I looked over at Damon who was fully engorged in washing cleaning the bottles from his kitchen. I contemplated leaving it to him and going home to get the rest that I was craving so badly. But I couldn't leave all this cleaning to him. That would mean I'd have to compromise my morals. _I've been doing that a lot lately._

"I'm going to stay and help clean up." I told her. "Is that okay, Damon?" I asked whilst looking over at him.

"Sure." He didn't take his eyes off the bottles he was clearing up but I swore I seen him smile.

Jenny glared at me and nodded before closing the door behind her, leaving me and Damon alone together at last. I stalked towards him, leaning against the counter admiring his naked chest as he stretched to reach something from the top shelf.

"You want to help me clean, huh?" He asked, still stretching.

"Yes." I lied. What normal person wants to clean up other peoples mess? The mess of people I don't even know. "Why else would I stay?"

"I can think of a few reasons."

The cleaning didn't last very long. In fact, momentarily later I found myself being lifted onto the counter and Damon's lips were on mine again. It wasn't that I minded, but the room smelt of beer and vomit. It wasn't much of a turn on.

His hands were trailing up my thighs and under my shirt, pulling at my back until we were as close as we could be. "I have a question." He mumbled into my mouth in-between kisses. I pulled us apart nodding for him to continue. "What's going on with you and Edward?"

I wasn't expecting that. I thought he was going to ask my favourite position or if would return the favour from earlier. But him bringing up Edward was the last thing on my mind. "What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Are you still dating?" He paused before he started talking again, realising his question sounded a little too personal. It wasn't something you'd ask someone you're just hooking up with. "I'm not sure if I'm cool with going behind my best friends back."

_Since when?_

I decided it was best to be honest. About everything. There was no point in watering things down to protect feelings. People always end up getting hurt anyways. And I'm pretty sure Damon could handle the truth.

"A few days before the party, me and Edward got into a fight." I paused. "Over you."

Damon's eyes widened in surprise. From his expression it was apparent that he was thinking the worst. He looked up at me with eyes that begged me to continue. "Nate let it slip that I didn't want to run into you and of course Edward was confused as to why."

"You told him we had sex?"

I nodded and he frowned walking backwards to the living room. "I didn't mention all the other times when you...seduced me. I made it clear we didn't know about the connection to him. He isn't mad at you."

"Then why didn't he come to my party?" He looked hurt. I wanted to walk over to him, hug him and cuddle for the rest of the day.

"Because he gave me an ultimatum." I told him, causing him to raise his eyebrow in confusion. "He thinks I have feelings for you and he wanted me to go to the party so I could make up my mind." I heard Damon gulp with nerves. I took that as a bad sign. I sighed before continuing. "He said if I decide I don't have feelings for you we can continue the relationship."

"What are you going to tell him?"

I looked to the ground to gather my thoughts. What was I supposed to say? Lie and say I didn't have feelings for him hoping he wouldn't be offended? Or tell the truth and hope he doesn't get scared and never talk to me again? I can't win either way. _Fuck sakes._

"I'm going to break up with him." I said quietly.

Damon's mouth opened slightly before closing again. He turned and walked to the couch, settling himself down. The silence filled the air quickly and if he didn't speak soon I'd be forced to. "You don't have to do that."

I sat in front of him, resting my hands on my knees. "I want to."

He groaned, shifting to get himself more comfortable. Or maybe it was because the topic of conversation was making him feel uncomfortable. It was having the same effect on me. "Lauren, I don't want a relationship." He stated.

I raised my eyebrow at him and tilted my head. Why was he telling me this? It's not like I didn't know already. "And I never will. You shouldn't waste your time with me." I frowned at the thought that he considered himself a waste of time. He was anything but that. "I don't want to give you false hope."

I smiled at him and settled beside him on the couch. He glared at me surprised by my movements. He was probably expecting me to storm out with a broken heart. "I'm breaking up with Edward for me. Not for you." I said causing him to look at me with his mouth closed tightly like he was trying to hold back something. "I promise."

He studied me for a moment before smirking and he let out a laugh. I didn't know why my confession was so funny, but apparently it was.

"What's so funny?" I asked, confused.

"You a dirty little slut."

My mouth dropped open in shock. No one has ever called me that. _Well, other than my friends but they were drunk and being a slut was a compliment. _I jumped off the couch and smacked him across the head with the pillow. He let out a yelp and told me to calm down.

"You calm down!" I exclaimed. "How dare you call me that?"

"It was dirty talk." He laughed hiding his face from the pillow. Dirty talk? That was supposed to turn me on? Oh yes, I forgot I loved being called hurtful names that most people used when trying to insult someone. "Clearly it doesn't work for you."

"Clearly." I scoffed.

"All I meant was that you are a lot naughtier then you let people believe." He smirked, pulling me onto his lap. "You are honestly telling me that you want to have a sex only relationship with me?"

There is a difference between want and when you settle because it's what the other person wants. But I couldn't let him know that or he'd kick me out and some other girl would replace me in his bed. "Yes."

"You are aware that I will be having sex with other people, right?"

_No._ "Yes." I repeated.

He eyed me for a minute before tracing my arm with his fingers. I could feel his arousal through his loose sweat pants. He grinded up into me, making a moan escape from my mouth. "Good." He said before kissing my neck.

"We should really clean." I stammered as he pulled my top over my head, leaving me exposed again. He laughed into my chest and lay me down on my back before towering over me.

"Are you telling me you're dirty?"

"Shut up." I moaned pulling his head down desperate for his touch.

After an exhausting day at Damon's I decided it was probably best I explained everything to Edward. It was unfair to leave him waiting any longer after how considerate he had been. I hadn't meant to hurt him. He really was a wonderful boyfriend. _Apart from the wandering eyes._ He just wasn't for me, I guess.

I took a deep breath and knocked his door as I waited outside his dorm room. I ran over everything I was going to say in my head. I was going to tell him that I do not have feelings for Damon, but I do not wish to continue our relationship. I'd try my best to avoid the whole 'it's not you, it's me' speech because that's far too cliché for my taste and it's just not genuine at all.

My thoughts came to a stop when the door creaked open to reveal Edward standing in a light grey t-shirt and denim jeans. His hair was ruffled as per usual giving of the vibe he just had great sex. Which I hope he hadn't because we hadn't slept together yet. _Yet? Why am I thinking that right before I break up with him?_

He smiled down at me and I returned the gesture. He opened the door wider and stepped aside allowing me to walk into his quiet dorm. What a gentleman. Why am I breaking up with him again? Oh, right...Damon.

"How are you?" He asked closing the door behind me.

Small talk. The best part before a break up. It sets the awkward tone before you indulge yourself into the good stuff. Or bad stuff. "I'm good. A little hungover." I said with a forced laugh. "You?"

"I'm okay."

Okay? That's it? I groaned internally at how difficult he was making this. He was supposed to ask me straight up about my feelings, then I would go on a rant about being independent and he would get mad, call me selfish and I'd storm out in tears. That's how it happened in the movies.

I slid my hands into my pockets due to the fact I didn't know where to put them. I nodded and smiled, looking round the room desperately trying to avoid any contact. I was afraid he'd see right through me if he looked close enough.

"How was the party?" He asked, running his hand through his hair.

_Stop doing that,_ I thought. _It's distracting me from the matter._

"It was interesting." I thought saying 'okay' would be too lazy and he'd just question me further about it then. "I ended up having some girl I don't know do body shots off me." I laughed. And so did he. That was an improvement, surely?

"Not much soul searching done then?"

I knew what he was implying. He was trying to be coy about it and it was evident he didn't want to pressure me into the conversation. He was giving me the upper hand. Could he be any sweeter?

"Actually, I did a lot of thinking."

He looked up at me surprised at my honesty. I looked down sighing, not knowing how to word my thoughts. How is it possible I didn't know what to say after precisely planning everything through?

"Shall we sit?" I asked gesturing to the bed. He nodded and we sat side by side. There was a noticeable distance between us and it took all the power in me not to scotch over to be closer.

"I know you sent me to the party so I could confront my feelings for Damon," I took a breath before I continued, "but I ended up confronting my feelings for myself." I looked at Edward hoping he understood what I meant. He just had his head tilted to the side, listening intently. "I had time to think about what I want and what is best for me. And I-"

"Can I say something first?" He interrupted. I nodded; confused as to what he was going to say that couldn't wait. I was in the zone, dammit. I was almost going into my big speech about women's independence.

Edward took my hands in his and held onto them tightly. He squeezed them before he started speaking. "Firstly, I know I forced you into confronting your feelings for Damon and I want to apologise for that. It wasn't my business to get involved in. I shouldn't have made you do it, I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I giggled. When was he going to realise that none of this was his fault? He is too naive sometimes.

"Secondly, I know I told you that I would be okay if you went with Damon. But I lied. I wouldn't be okay with it. I would be distraught actually." He told me. I didn't like where he was going with this. "The thought of him touching you infuriates me. I want you to be mine, and only mine. I don't want one silly mistake you had before we met to come between us. You mean too much to me for that to happen."

"What are you trying to say?" My heart was racing and I'm surprised Edward hadn't questioned me about the sweat appearing on my forehead. He couldn't be telling me this now. Not when I made my mind up. Not after the night I had with Damon. That wasn't fair. How am I supposed to tell him I don't want to be with him when he's practically begging me to stay with him?

Edward smiled at my obviousness. "I'm telling you that I care for you deeply, and I want you to be with me, not Damon."

I took a breath and looked to the floor. I didn't know what I was supposed to say to him. I couldn't break his heart. Not when he was smiling at me like a puppy dog that just got a new chew toy.

"What were you going to tell me?" He asked.

"I..." I stammered. "I...I want to be with you too."

No. No I don't. What am I saying? God damn, word vomit. I don't want to be with him. I can't be with him. I told Damon I was breaking up with him. If he found out I was still with him he'd think I lied to him. But I can't take it back now. What am I supposed to do? Someone please slap me.

"Really?" Edward grinned.

Now is the perfect time to tell him the truth.

"Yes." For fuck sakes.

I wasn't even given a chance to think when Edward attacked his lips with mine. It happened too fast I didn't even get to respond. I closed my eyes and relaxed into his movements. His hand was now resting on my thigh and I couldn't help but think of how it felt when Damon's hand was there. How it would set my whole body on fire.

I decided to go with it, and forget about Damon for the next hour. I'd deal with it all tomorrow. But for now I was going to be Edward's girlfriend and I was going to let him touch me, because that's what a normal relationship would involve. I relaxed back on Edward's bed and he climbed on top of me. His hands brushed my sides lightly and then came up to rub his thumb on the side of my face. He was a lot gentler then he who won't be named. It wasn't that I didn't like it. It was just different. Good different.

My hands were pulling at him underneath his shirt as he played with the waist line of my trousers, not going any further. I was bored already, desperately wanting more. I removed my hands from his back to the buttons on his shirt. I opened them one by one and I felt Edward staring at me in surprise. We hadn't gone any further than kissing but I wanted that to change. And from the tightness of his pants I could tell he did too.

I tugged his shirt off him, throwing it to the floor. My hands went immediately to his belt, unfastening it quickly as Edward watched in awe. I pushed his jeans down roughly and he kicked them off completely until he was only covered by his boxers. _Which were power rangers. I held back the urge to laugh._

He pulled at the bottom of my t shirt with his shaky hands, looking at me for approval. I nodded and he tore it off me completely, dropping it beside his pile of clothes. He kissed me roughly thrusting his tongue into my mouth. He moved down the bed slightly giving himself room to pull my trousers off my legs. Once they were off he was on top off me again, pulling at my hair gently the same way he always did.

I reached behind him, giving his bottom a light squeeze to which he moaned before I pushed his boxers off. He followed the same actions he had done when taking his trousers off. I glanced down at his manhood, pleasantly surprised. _Let's just hope he knows what to do with it. _I reached down, grabbing him in my hand tightly. He swore into my neck and thrust into my hand involuntary. I pumped him quickly until he started panting. I removed my hand from around him and unclipped my bra, tossing it to the floor. I couldn't help but smile when Edward started licking his lips.

"Can you help me with these?" I asked, pointing to my panties. He nodded enthusiastically and headed south, pulling my panties off leaving us both completely naked. He looked up at me curiously. He was asking permission to give me head? This time, I couldn't hold in the laugh. I nodded and spread my legs, allowing him entrance.

His mouth was on me within seconds causing my eyes to roll back. I had one hand clutching onto his head, pushing him deeper, and one clinging onto the mattress. I let out a yelp when his fingers joined his tongue in a battle of dominance. I cried out his name as he worked his hand faster and his mouth enveloped my most tender area. I felt my climax building up within me and Edward must have sensed it because he decided that would be the perfect time to hum into my clit. _Yes, hum._

The vibrations were overwhelming and I exploded with a scream as he continued to push his fingers in and out of me. I pulled at his hair, urging him closer to me. He quickly obliged and pressed his mouth against mine. I couldn't wait any longer; I need him inside of me. "Condom?" I moaned between kisses.

He nodded and jumped off me quickly before rushing back with the wrapper in his hand. He slid it on instantly and crawled back over me, holding his length into his hand. He rest his forehead against mine and breathed heavily as he pushed himself into my warmth. I let out a deep moan and wrapped my legs around his waist urging him to move. I felt one of his hands trace down my side and hold onto my hip as he pulled out of me before pushing in slowly.

"Harder." I begged. I couldn't handle the slow pace. I needed him to get rid of my thoughts. I needed to need him and I was desperate for him to make me feel like I couldn't live without him. He pumped into me harder, increasing his speed with each thrust. His mouth was covering mine, and my fingers were digging into his back as I tried to hold back screams. I knew I wasn't going to last much longer.

"Close." He grunted in a strangled voice. His speed increased as our releases neared, and I was clutching onto his hair so hard that I would be surprised if I hadn't tore at his scalp. I let out one last scream as I felt my body tingle from head to toe. My head fell backwards as I regained my breath, whilst Edward thrust one last time before collapsing on top of me. I ran my fingers through his hair, smiling as he panted loudly.

He lifted himself up, levelling himself with me. I kissed him lightly, cupping his face in both hands. I couldn't help but mutter a quiet 'thank you.'

"That must have been some cleaning." Jenny said sarcastically when I arrived home. "I didn't take my brother for the house work type."

I collapsed on my bed, ignoring her snarky attitude. I was so tired that it was physically impossible to keep my eyes open. I rolled over on my side rubbing my hip. It turns out Edward was a little too rough and left a mark. Or maybe it was Damon, I can't remember.

"Are you dating my brother now?"

"No." I said. _I wish I was._

"Oh." She sighed, quietly from across the room. "Are you annoyed about that? I mean, he's not the dating type. I've never seen him with a girlfriend. Are you going to tell Edward you have feelings for him?"

Twenty one questions a go-go. I groaned loudly and turned on my side to face her. "I've already spoken to Edward. That is why I'm so late." She opened her mouth in surprise, and then closed it again whilst nodding. I closed my eyes to fall asleep when she woke me up with another question.

"What did you tell him?"

I contemplated lying to her. I thought about saying that I broke up with him, or that I told him I didn't have feelings for Damon and had decided to carry on with our relationship. But what would be the point? I couldn't keep it from her forever. And I had to be truthful to someone. I can't take the lies for a second longer.

"We're still together." I paused, thinking about my choice of words. I didn't want to blurt out that I'm having a sexual relationship with her brother. "But..."

"But?"

"I'm also sleeping with Damon." I said quietly hiding my face under the pillow, terrified of what she would do to me. She nearly strangled me because of my sleep talking.

"Neither of them know about the other?" She asked softly. Who was this person what did had they done with my roommate? Why wasn't she throttling me? It's not like I didn't deserve it. I shook my head and she let out a sigh. _Here it comes, _I thought. _She's going to explode. _"I thought you didn't have feelings for Edward?"

"I do. Just not like I have for Damon." I shifted awkwardly in my bed. "He was being so nice when I went to see him. I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

"You don't think it'll hurt him when he finds out you've been lying to him?"

Ouch. There is nothing worse than when someone confronts you on the one thing that has been crowding your thoughts.

"Of course it will." I moaned. "I'm not an idiot. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do." I thumped my fist into the mattress. I needed a friend, not a therapist. I know what I'm doing is wrong, what I need her to help me with is how I fix it.

Jenny sat on her bed, looking down at me like I was some lost child. Maybe I was, I was most certainly acting like it. How hard is it to say to no to someone? Apparently it's impossible for me because I prefer to have sex with them rather than face the truth.

"You should tell Damon you can't have sex with him anymore."

What? That was the last thing I want to do. And even if I tried to do that, I'd probably end up in his bed before I could get my first sentence out. Damon has a way with hypnotising me. It's not my fault I'm not susceptible to witch craft. "You want me to stay with Edward? A guy I don't have any deep feelings for?"

She nodded. "Yes." I raised my eyebrow at her in confusion. How would that benefit anyone? I'd break his heart eventually, unless she plans on making me marry him out of pity. "You've hurt him too much as it is."

"So I'll just stay in a dead end relationship?"

"It meant not be a dead end. You only think it is because Damon's clouding your judgement. He's a judgement clouder!" She moaned. I could tell she was frustrated. She wanted to help me but it was becoming painfully obvious that there was no solution to my ridiculous problem.

"He's never going to go away." I told her. She sighed, lying back on her bed. I know she agrees with me, or she would have fought back.

"This conversation isn't going anywhere." We both laughed and I nodded, closing my eyes. "We'll talk about it in the morning."

"Okay." I said softly, drifting off to sleep. I hoped I'd find an answer unconsciously. Maybe a hobbit would come to me in my dreams and send me in the right direction. Because otherwise, I don't see how I'll have magically made up my mind in the morning.

"You'll have to choose eventually." Jenny whispered. "I can promise you that."

"I know." _It was the making the decision that was the difficult part._

**I don't own any characters apart from Lauren. ;D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I had somehow managed to avoid making any decision on who I want for four days, despite Jenny's consistency in getting me to face my actions head on and take whatever consequences I get. I could tell she was annoyed with me. And it wasn't because Damon's her brother. She doesn't even like him. If I would even mention going on a date with Edward, or spend the night at Damon's house she would go off into some rant about how leaving this any longer is only going to make things worse. I knew she was right, but what she didn't understand was that it doesn't make it any easier for me to decide.

It was a Friday evening and things were as awkward as ever in our dorm room. We would pass each other by like we didn't see each other, make coffee just for ourselves, and sometimes, when she was extra moody, she'd turn the lights off when I'm doing work on my laptop. I was fed up with living my life like this and decided the best thing to do was just to talk to her about it. Like young mature adults.

"Stop it."

"What?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. I'm not sure if it was my choice of words, or the fact we were actually speaking that made her look so surprised.

"Can we please stop ignoring each other?" I pleaded. "It's driving me insane."

She looked up at for a moment with a frown and then sat her book down beside her on the bed throwing her legs over the side. "I was trying to prove a point."

"I know." I paused, thinking of what I could say to explain myself without it coming off as selfish. "I just...I want to do all the things you want me to do. I want to choose one of them; I just don't know how to go about it."

There was a moment of silence as Jenny thought about what wild idea she could throw at me now. Over the past four days she'd managed to come up with coin toss, picking with a blind fold on and moving to Canada. None of which seemed reasonable to me. I wanted something simple, and easy. But it had to be plausible.

"Pro's and con's list."

And that was it. Jenny was now sat at the laptop with a word document opened and the names of the men in question plastered across the top of the page. I was pacing round the room, scratching my head whilst trying to think of everything I like and dislike about Damon and Edward.

"Can the first con for Damon be that he's my step brother and it's gross?" Jenny asked. I wasn't sure if she was being serious, or if she was trying to make this a light hearted game.

"No." I heard her sigh as she pressed the delete key, removing what she had already written in the column 'cons' under Damon's name. "But you can write that he doesn't want a relationship. Ever."

I frowned just saying it out loud. No matter how many con's Edward had, the one lacking commitment on Damon's side was always going to hold me back. "There's no spark's with Edward." I said quietly, almost embarrassed. Surely if there were no sparks I shouldn't even contemplate being with him. Maybe I shouldn't be with either of them.

"Damon makes me have a mini heart attack every time I see him."

"Is that a pro or con?" She asked, turning round to look at me. I tilted my head at her in frustration. Was she trying to make this difficult or did it just come naturally for her? She turned back to the laptop and unwillingly typed. "According to you heart attacks are a pro."

"Edward's relationship material." I said, ignoring her completely.

"If you continue to pick one of each this is going to continue being pointless." Jenny exclaimed whilst still typing. I heard her sigh and it made me stop pacing around the room. I walked towards her and towered over her. She looked up at me and frowned. "You need to pick out the things that really stand out to you."

"I am." I argued.

She decided not to push me any further, and began to ask my multiple questions. "Who pisses you off the most?"

"Damon."

"Who do you feel the least safe with?" She continued.

"Damon." I repeated.

"Who do you think will break your heart?"

"Damon." I said with a sigh, seeing where she was going with this. I sat on my bed and lowered my head into my hands. I couldn't help but feel this was making everything worse. Pointing out everything you hate in someone only scares you away. What good does that do?

"Who do you have the least in common with?" It was never ending. It was like she had a big book of questions to make you hate someone.

"Damon." I repeated.

"Who do you want to be with?"

"Damon." My eyes snapped open and I jumped off the bed. How did she do that? I didn't even realise I had said it. I wasn't thinking, I thought it was going to be another negative question. She tricked me! "I didn't mean that. I wasn't...I didn't...oh fuck sakes."

"It looked like you have your answer then." She smiled at me, closing the document on the laptop.

_When did she get so sneaky?_

"No, I don't. That last question didn't mean anything." I told her, lying through my teeth. I knew right from the beginning that if it wasn't Damon who won, I was going to be really upset. It was only when I sat it out loud that it became real. "I only said it 'cause-"

"Because you want him."

"No!" I shouted.

"What's the big deal? You got what you wanted." She asked me. Clearly she had no idea what I wanted because if she did, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. "Damon won."

My stomach turned at the thought of this being a competition. "You tricked me!" I shouted, not knowing what else to say. I knew she was right. "You made me answer all those negative questions and then surprised me with a positive one. Damon's name just slipped out because I'd been saying it so much."

I was nodding so vigorously that it was apparent I was trying to convince myself. I grabbed my bag off the bedroom floor, throwing my purse into it and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" She asked as I made my way out of the dorm room.

"To make my choice." I shouted, closing the door behind me. I pulled out my phone, typing a quick message to meet me at the bar. I scrolled down, click Edward's name and hit send.

When I arrived at the bar it was relatively empty. It was only 6 o'clock and the sun was still splitting the sky. I sat down on the bar stool and rest my head against the counter in front of me. I could feel a pair of eyes ogling me from my left. I pulled my phone out of my pocket as a distraction. I had a missed call from Jenny and a text telling me that I was making the wrong choice.

I scoffed and slammed it down on the table earning a few looks from numerous people. My phone vibrated to life signalling that someone was calling me.

"Hello?" I asked in an angry voice.

"Hey, babe." Edward said. I didn't like the word babe but I figured right now would not be the time to tell him that. "I'm going to be a little late; you haven't left yet have you? I'll be there in an hour."

An hour? I was supposed to sit here and wallow in self pity for an hour. _Great_, I thought. Maybe it's what I needed. Maybe I needed alone time with my thoughts. All I've done in the past four days is worry about everyone else, and what they think and feel. I could use this time to think about what I want, and what I need.

"That's fine. I hadn't left yet anyways." I lied, looking at my surroundings. "I'll see you in an hour." I hung up quickly and slipped my phone into my pocket. I requested to the bartender that he give me the strongest thing on offer.

I took a gulp of my drink, leaving my glass half empty when I heard a voice over me. "Rough day?" It was Damon. I looked up at him with a scowl on my face as he smiled down, sliding in to the seat beside me. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it." I turned my gaze from him to the table. I couldn't tell him that the majority of my problems were him, and my feelings for him. And I couldn't tell him about Edward because then he'd find out I was seeing him behind his back. It was just one major mind fuck.

"Okay." He said, zipping on the beer that just landed in front of me.

_That's it? _I thought. _You're not going to fight with me? _

"What are you doing here?" I asked glaring at him. He looked up at me and ran his hand through his hair once before placing it around his beer again.

"This is my hang out." He paused and then smirked. "Plus, I've got a hot date."

I felt my insides drop and my stomach twisted into a giant knot. I looked away from him to avoid any eye contact. I knew he was going to date other people, but I didn't expect him to be so blunt about it. And I most certainly did not want to talk to him about it.

"Well, I'm meeting someone too." I snapped back at him. I couldn't tell him that person was Edward. That would just make things worse.

"Really?" He was biting onto his bottom lip and his eyes were dark. I thought for a second that he looked hurt, but then his lip quivered up into a half smile. What would he have to feel hurt about?

"Yes." I said with a nod. "He'll be here in less than an hour."

He nodded and continued peeling of the paper on his bottle. I wondered if that was his nervous habit. I didn't realise how long I was staring at his hands until I looked up to see him glaring at me.

I coughed awkwardly and shifted in my seat. "Where's your date then?" Who would be crazy enough to stand him up? Or even turn up late? She had no idea what she was missing out on. He was grinning at me like a crazy person. I raised my eyebrow at him and he just continued to smile. "What are you smiling at?"

He burst out into laughter and took one of my hands in his, giving it a light squeeze. "I was talking about you."

_What?_ "What?"

"You were the hot date I was referring too." He smiled at my obviousness. I smiled back and rubbed my forehead in confusion. "Jenny called me and said you wanted to meet me here."

Of course she did. Because she just couldn't keep her nose out of anything. She wouldn't let me handle this situation the way I want to. She just has to interfere because her ideas are always so much better.

"She did, huh?" I asked.

"Hence my confusion when you said you were meeting someone." He told me. Oh, so he wasn't hurt, just confused. "Unless that someone was supposed to be me."

I took my hand out of his and downed the rest of alcohol left in my glass. "Not quite." I said with a smile.

He nodded, tracing his hand up my thigh and under my dress. "How about you ditch the loser and come back with me?" His hand was rubbing circled on my inner thigh and I could feel the tingles spark up my entire body.

"I have to tell you something." He nodded for me to continue. I looked down at his hand which was now on the outside of my dress, still placed on my thigh. I was going to tell him about Edward. I knew that I had too. "It's about Edward."

"What about me?" I felt a strong arm placed round my shoulder and a kiss to the side of my head. My eyes widened and I watched Damon's expression turn from tender to shock to hurt. And I was 100% sure that he was actually hurt this time. "You didn't tell me Damon was coming." Edward whispered into my ear.

I opened my mouth to speak but I was quickly cut off.

"I invited myself. I literally just came over to say hello." Damon said, lifting his gaze from me to his friend. I frowned at myself and lowered my head in disappointment. "I'll leave you two alone."

"No, don't be silly." Edward said, sitting beside me. "You can join us."

I didn't know what Edward was playing at but I know he didn't trust Damon. Not after everything that happened. He should be telling him to back off, but instead of was inviting him to spend more time with me.

_Maybe it was a test._

Damon nodded and suggested we sit at one of the tables, which we did. Edward pulled me closely in to him and I could feel Damon's eyes burning into me. I don't know if it was because he was jealous or if he was angry that I had been lying to him. It was probably both.

Edward was whispering something into my ear, but I wasn't listening. I was looking at Damon who had reverted his gaze to the bar. It soon met with mine again and I mouthed 'I'm sorry' to which he decided to speak up.

"I thought you two broke up."

Oh fuck. My heart raced, wondering where he was going with this. Damon was dangerous enough as it is, but a Damon who had been hurt could only be ten times worse. I narrowed my eyes at him but he ignored me and looked at Edward.

"What?" Edward asked, confused.

"Lauren told me you two had a fight when she was at my Halloween party." He was lying, yet. But he was digging a hole for me that would be very difficult to get out of.

Edward looked down at me, his arm loosening from around my waist. "We got into a fight, yes. But we didn't break up." He was looking at me for approval and I nodded. "We had great make up sex the next day."

I swallowed nervously, looking at Damon whose face was now glimmering with a tinge of red. He was angry. In fact, he looked absolutely furious and I couldn't even say anything to make him calm down.

"Better than the sex we had at my party?"

"Damon." I said. It wasn't stern or aggressive, and I wasn't telling him off. I just wanted to know that I was sorry and that I still needed to talk to him. He looked at me for a moment before looking back at Edward.

Edward shifted slightly. I was terrified that Damon just made my decision for me. "I told Lauren to confront her feelings for you. If it took sex to lead her back to me then I don't care." He looked down at me. I didn't look back. I wasn't looking at either of them for fear of what they both were going to say. "I know what you're doing here Damon and for the sake of our friendship I think we should stop. She's just a girl."

_Ouch. Be more blunt there Edward._

Damon let out a small laugh and slapped his hand down on his thigh. "It led her back to you, did it? Then how come I've fucked her every night this week." He looked over at me with a smirk.

I knew everything was over now. The secret I had been keeping was out and there was nothing I could do about it. It was out of my control. I looked up at Edward who was staring at me in disgust. His hand was now completely off me and he stood up making his way towards the door.

"Edward, wait!" I stalked after him. "Let me explain." He stopped and turned around to face me. I opened my mouth to speak and nothing came out. I heard him scoff as he pushed his way through the door and it slammed shut.

I could feel a body behind me and I knew who it was. I had hoped he was done torturing me. But part of me wanted more because I knew I deserved it. I turned round and looked up at him, shrugging my shoulders.

"I was going to tell you before he turned up." I said looking at my feet. "If that counts for anything."

"It doesn't."

I nodded and looked up at him again. "I was going to make a decision on who I wanted. I was-"

"I told you to pick Edward. You told me you were going to break up with him for you. You didn't have to lie. I would have understood." He said in a whisper. I felt my eyes fill up. He was being so understanding and I knew everything he was saying was right. He would have let me go because he loved his best friend, and he wouldn't want to hurt him. But I made him hurt him.

"I was going to break up with him." I looked up at him and he was expressionless. "I felt bad because he was telling me how much he liked me. I didn't want to hurt him." He nodded and pushed his hands into his pockets, letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. I felt his body brush past me and I turned round to watch him walk out the door, leaving me standing in the bar on me own.

I literally ran home. I took a moment to compose my thoughts before bursting out of the bar and sprinting up the street past a crowd of people looking at me. I was like this until the second I reached my dorm room. I knocked on the door, completely out of breath with tears running down my face. I wiped them away with the bottom of my cardigan, staining it with my worn out mascara.

The door opened and Jenny was standing in front of me with a puzzled look on her face. I frowned at her and let out a sob I didn't realise I had been holding in. And then her arms were around me, pulling me into her embrace and squeezing me as tight as she could. I rested my head against her shoulder and cried out into it. She closed the door behind us and continued holding onto me.

"They hate me." I said in between sobs. "They both hate me."

"Give them time." She said whilst rubbing the back of my head gently. "They'll forgive you in time. I promise."

"And if they don't?" I pulled myself off her, looking up through my eyes which were now like a panda's because of the running make-up. I didn't know why I was crying this bad. I never let things get to me like this. Especially men.

"Then it's their lose." She said with a kiss to my forehead. I collapsed on top of my bed, clinging onto my pillow. I've really screwed up my relationships with the two guys I've got along with since leaving Ohio. "How about I put on Troy and you can stare at a very naked Eric Bana?"

I laughed at how she instantly knew what to say. _And how she knew about my crush on Eric Bana._

"That would be nice."

She nodded and made her way over to the TV, switching the movie on and settling beside me on the bed. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and contemplated texting them, or at least one of them. I needed to talk to them, and I needed to make it right.

"They'll call you when the time's right." Jenny said, not taking her eyes off the movie. "Now put your phone away or do I have to confiscate it missy?"

I pushed it back into my pocket and held my hands together to avoid them wandering. I looked over at my roommate and smiled. "Thanks for this." I was more grateful than I could begin to describe. As much as she infuriated me, I don't know what I'd do without her.

She meekly nodded, not taking her eyes off the movie. Not even once.

I woke up the next morning feeling like I had slept 3 hours. I looked over at the clock with one eye opened slightly. It was 8am, and Jenny was still lying beside me, snoring as loudly as ever. The television was still lit up and the DVD menu was playing across the screen. I pushed myself of the bed and headed towards the bathroom.

I was a sight for sore eyes. My make up was a disaster, my eyes were still blotchy from the crying and my clothes were all over the place. I pealed my clothes off and turned the shower on, letting it wash over me. And before I knew it, I was crying again.

_Ugh, pull yourself together girl._

I jumped out of the shower, dried myself quickly and got dressed into a fresh set of clothes. When I went back into the bedroom, I couldn't help but laugh at Jenny's position in the bed. I walked over to her, and pulled the covers over her, so she looked more comfortable. I made my way to the door when I heard her grunting, awakening from her sleep.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"Shh, go back to sleep."

She rose in the bed, sitting up straight and rubbing her forehead slightly to wake herself up. "Where are you going?"

I sighed and closed the door again. I was hoping to do this myself, so I could save myself the embarrassed if it all failed. "I'm going to see Edward." I said honestly. Her eyes lit up in confusion. She opened her mouth to protest but I cut her off before I could give her the chance. "He knows I'm coming. I text him last night during the movie when you drifted off."

"Sneaky." She smiled. "Good luck."

"I'll need it." _I'll need it so much._

I stood outside Edward's dorm room for about 15 minutes before finally deciding to give it a light knock. It was still early, and I thought he'd maybe still be in bed. But he wasn't. And he answered the door, immediately stepping aside to let me in as if he knew it was going to be me standing there.

I walked past him in the same fashion I did five days ago. The room was filled with the same awkward tension, except that this time it was intensified. I could literally feel the silence burning into me and I knew that this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation, given the way that Edward had stormed out of the bar last night.

Edward wasn't even looking at me; in fact he just sat down on the bed looking at the floor, leaving it up to me to make the conversation.

"Thanks for agreeing to talk to me." I said quietly, whilst fidgeting with my hands.

He nodded in response, not taking his gaze of the floor. I took a deep breath and made my way over to him, sitting beside him. He tensed up at the proximity but tried his best to play it cool.

_I could see straight through it though._

We sat in silence for a few moments longer before I decided that it wasn't getting us anywhere. If I wanted to fix things I was going to need to speak up, or I could destroy our relationship forever. And I really wanted to be friends with him. Especially since I sit next to him in class.

"Can I explain everything?"

"What is there to explain? I got to jist of everything last night." He said, still not lifting his gaze.

"I didn't want to lie to you. It just happened. And I know that's no excuse and I feel so horrible for going behind both your backs. But I'm mostly sorry for coming between your friendship." I was going to continue but I was cut off.

"Me and Damon are fine." He said in a harsh tone, almost defensive.

I ignored his comment. "I wasn't intending on dating you both at the same time." And that's when he looked up. He wasn't looking at me directly, but he was looking at the poster of Star Wars on his wall. "Technically, I wasn't dating Damon but...you know."

He grunted and looked back down.

_Note to self: Don't talk about sex with Damon in any way shape or form with the ex._

"I'm going to be honest with you. Painfully honest." I said glaring at him. "I may say some things you won't want to hear." He nodded and I took that as a cue that it was okay.

"When I came to your house the other day I intended on ending our relationship." And he looked directly at me. My stomach did a little flip and then settled down again when he looked away. He was trying to hide his hurt, and he wasn't doing a very good job of it. "I was going to tell you that you were right. I did have feelings for Damon and I wasn't enjoying our relationship."

He stood up off the bed and walked over to his window, holding onto the frame and stared out. He closed his eyes before opening them once he had relaxed and he made his way back over to the bed. He didn't sit, but he did look at me.

"Continue." He commanded.

_I felt like I was a convict and he was a prison guard. That could make for one kinky porno._

"I didn't get to tell you how I felt because you started speaking. About how you felt for me." I said and he closed his eyes as he remembered back to the evening. "I felt so horrible for what I had done and I didn't want to hurt you. I wasn't in any frame of mind to make a decision so I just said yes."

He opened his eyes again and looked down at me with a face that told me he was having a train of thought. "Then why did you have sex with me?"

"I didn't think it'd make a difference." _Since when did men care about sex without feelings? _He should come with his own handbook. "I figured it would help me make my mind up on what I should do."

"And it didn't?" I shook my head.

"Let me ask you one thing." He said as he towered over me, with his hands on his hips. "Why did Damon think we had broken up?"

"I told him that I was going to break up with you."

"So you could have a sex only relationship with him?" His expression wasn't faltering. He looked as angry and hurt as he did when I walked through the door, except now his eyebrows were furrowed and he wasn't being silent.

"I said that I was breaking up with you for myself." I paused. "He made it clear that he didn't want me to leave you so I could be with him. He's not at fault."

He was staring at me fiercely and I felt so intimidated that I wanted to run away. It was like I was on Judge Judy and it felt like I had 100 eyes on me. But in reality it was only me and Edward, and that was just as frightening.

"You have romantic feelings for him?"

I lowered my head and frowned. "Yes." I wanted to jump and declare that I was sorry and that I didn't know until the party. But I didn't see how it would make any difference, so I just stayed silent.

"He won't reciprocate them." He told me. I glared up at him. Did he think I didn't know that? Did he think I was that naive and Damon had tricked me into being with him because I had some false hope of us being together? "Not now. And not ever. It's not in him."

"I'm aware of that." _Painfully aware._

"I don't think you are. I think you believe you can convince him to fall for you. I think you believe having sex with him is the way to his heart." He said, reading my mind again. "I've known Damon my whole life. He doesn't commit and he gets bored easily. You can try as hard as you like but it won't work."

I stood up off his bed, and made my way past him. I wasn't here for a lecture; I was here to explain myself. I didn't have to listen to this.

"I'm trying to be honest with you. I'm not doing it to hurt you."

_Funny away of going about it_, I thought. "Why not? Don't you want to hurt me like I hurt you? Get your revenge?" I said as my voice choked.

"I'm not interesting in hurting you." He said softly, walking towards me. "I'm just warning you, because despite your feelings I actually do care about you. I love Damon, but he is bad news."

"I'm not looking for his hand in marriage." I scoffed.

Edward narrowed his eyes, studying me for a moment. "If you prove me wrong, I'll admit that I was wrong about him."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'll be here when he breaks your heart."

I couldn't help but let my heart quiver at his sincerity. He was supposed to be mad at me, but he was offering me his shoulder when I needed it. I nodded at him and headed out of his dorm room, letting the door close behind me. As appealing as his comfort sounds, I was going to prove him wrong.

I knocked on Damon's door confidently. He had been the friendlier of the two last night. He was more understanding, and although he left me in the bar by myself, I had a feeling he was going to be more forgiving. There was no response so I knocked again, adding another tap for affect.

Just as I was about to give up, I heard the slot of his door being unlocked and the door opened slightly with a creek. Damon's head popped out the side. I must have woke him up because his eyes were dark and his hair was scruffy on his head. He rubbed his eyes and mumbled my name when he seen me.

"Can we talk?" I asked, urgent to get straight to the point. I didn't want minutes of awkward silence like I had with Edward.

"About what?" He asked with a croaky voice.

_The weather, _I thought. _What the hell do you think I want to talk about?_

"Us." I said simply, not wanting to beat around the bush.

"Us?" He questioned as if it was some unknown species. I nodded and he let out a sigh, stepping out in the hallway, closing the doorway behind him. This wasn't a corridor kind of conversation but I wasn't in the mood to argue. "What about us?"

"I'm sorry for lying to you."

"We spoke about this at the bar. I've forgiven you." He told me. I don't remember him ever telling me that I was forgiven but I couldn't help but smile knowing that he wasn't angry with me, because it made this whole confession a lot easier. "Is there anything else you'd like to say?"

I took a deep breath before I began to speak. "I lied to you."

"I know, Lau-"

"I lied to you about my feelings for you." I interrupted. His mouth hung open for a second before he closed it tightly. "I lied to everyone about my feelings for you. Even myself. I don't just want you for sex, Damon. I was settling because I know that you're never going to commit."

He ran his hand over his hair and took a step back, looking frustrated. I don't know if he was frustrated with me, or himself. "But I don't think that's true. I think you are able to commit, but you're just too scared."

"Lauren." It sounded like a warning. Like he was telling me not to continue for my own good, but I ignored him.

"I want to be with you." I paused before I finished. "And I think you do to. Or you wouldn't have been so angry yesterday."

He didn't say anything. He just stared at me with a tight jaw and eyes which were flaming with frustration. I wanted patiently for him to respond but he kept silent. "I have a girl in my bed."

"What?" My stomach dropped. _Why is he telling me this?_

"That's why we're standing outside." He ran his hands through his hair again, but this time he gripped onto his locks roughly, tugging at them. "That's why I could never be in a relationship with you."

"Because of the girl in your bed?"

"Because of the girls in my bed. There is always going to be girls in my bed." He emphasised. I looked at the ground and frowned, making him shift forwards and closer to me. "I told you this from the beginning."

"I know." I said so quietly that it was a wonder he even heard me respond.

"I'm not relationship material."

_I know, _I felt like saying again. _It was on the con's list._

"How would you know if you've never tried?" I tested him. I wasn't willing to go down without a fight. I don't care if it came across needy and desperate, but if I didn't knock some sense into him now then no one ever would. "You could be."

"I think I know myself better than you do, Lauren."

"Answer this then." I said, throwing my hands into the air. He nodded, like he was ready for whatever question I was going to tackle him with, like he'd heard it all before. _Maybe he had. Maybe he'd been in this situation with girls before. _"After we slept together, if it was just about sex, why didn't you leave me alone?"

"I like to have a round two sometimes." He said defensively. He wasn't willing to let his guard down, so he made everything in to a joke. Even when it hurt people.

"I think we had more than two rounds." If he wanted to be a smart ass then so would I. I played a lot better game than he did. He smiled at me and continued moving closer, to which I stepped back until I was leaning against the wall.

"I wasn't counting." He smirked. "I guess I made an exception for you."

"You have feelings for me." I spat out at him. He didn't move, and his gaze didn't shift of me. He stood still, just staring. "I know you do."

"I don't."

_Fuck it. I'll just have to prove him wrong. _

I tugged him forward by his bare chest, pulling at his neck, until his lips locked with mine. It was quick and I could tell he was surprised by his response. He soon relaxed into it and placed his hands at either side of the wall, pushing his hips into mine. My hands were in his already messy hair, trying to get him as close as possible. I danced my tongue over his bottom lip when he pulled apart from me, glaring down as he caught his breath.

He turned away from me and walked towards the door, before turning back again. "That's sex. Not feelings."

"You're wrong." I was really getting more desperate every time I spoke. I was mentally telling myself to shut up but I just wouldn't stop talking. It all kept spilling out. "Pussy."

_Oh shit._

"I was trying to be nice to you but I guess that doesn't work." His face was flushed with anger again; similar to how it looked last night. "I don't have feelings for you, and I never will."

He opened his door, making his way inside, but stopped to give one last remark. "If you ever want to fuck stop by, but if not please stay away." And he closed the door behind him.

I was stood in the hall way absolutely heartbroken. All my worries were right. Everything I had thought from the beginning was true. I was just another fuck, another girl in his bed. That was all I was ever going to be to him. People had tried to warn me. Edward told me what to expect from him, yet I still came to his apartment and literally got down on my knees in order to convince him.

I'd made a full out of myself and for nothing. I'd ruined my relationship with Edward and for nothing. I was back to where I was in day one. I didn't have either of them, and all because I couldn't take no for an answer.

And yet, somehow, I still wanted to go into his apartment and tell him that I was fine with sex only. _That is not normal._ How did I get to this point? And what was I supposed to do now?

**I don't own anyone apart from Lauren. I literally own her lalalala :)) ps i'm not a big fan of this chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 **

I couldn't face going home after revealing my feelings to Damon. I knew Jenny would ask me questions that I couldn't answer for fear of crying. It would be one of those 'I told you so' moments. And then I'd have to contemplate calling Edward and requesting that shoulder to cry on he had offered. But that would be far too embarrassing. I couldn't handle it yet, not tonight.

So I went to the last place you'd expect. College. Actually, I went to the bar for a drink first but that's not the point. I was walking through the halls which were dark and empty. It was similar to the night I was here with Nate and Jenny. Except this time I was alone and I had no real reason to be here other than to escape my thoughts. The corridor was long and wide and it made me feel so insignificant. I could glide through and no one would even notice.

I had managed to end up outside my History lecture room without noticing. I stared at the tall door in front of me for a moment before deciding to push it open and go inside. It's a big room, maybe it'll help me focus. Maybe it'll open my mind for a little bit. I closed the door quietly behind me, afraid of someone hearing. _Even though no would in their right mind came to school on a Saturday. _

I walked towards my seat at the front of the room and slid into it staring at the large board in front of me. There was a lesson plan on it, followed by the date in the top right corner. It hadn't been wiped off since class yesterday. I closed my eyes and leant backwards, almost absorbing the surroundings. I took a deep breath and sighed lightly when I heard a click come from behind me. My eyes snapped open at the sudden noise and I shifted in my seat to look behind me.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to break your focus." Mr Northman smiled down at me from the desk furthest back in the room as he tapped his pen whilst supposedly marking work. I wondered what he was doing here, and why he decided to sit so far back when he had his own desk at the front of the classroom. I realised that I had intruded on his alone time and slid out of my seat quickly.

"I didn't know anyone was here, sorry." I said nervously. "I'll go."

"No, it's fine. You can stay." He smiled again. "You look like you need the focus."

I couldn't help but wonder why he was here, why he was always here. Did he ever leave the classroom? I know he said that he didn't have any free time but surely he could mark his students work at home. I imagine this room in particular must get a little boring to look at 24/7. "Why are you here?" It slipped out before I could even process saying it.

"Marking work." He said not taking his gaze of the page in front of him. I started to make my way up the staircase, slowly. We were so far apart that I could only hear him because of the ego the room allowed. I saw him watch me out of the corner of his eye, probably curious as to why I was walking towards him. "It's usually easier to focus here."

"Usually?" I questioned with a low voice.

He raised an eyebrow, smirked and lowered his head again. I wanted to know what he was thinking, because it sure as hell didn't look innocent. I smiled and stopped a few rows down from him, straddling the seat whilst staring into the distance. Neither of us spoke, and I didn't expect him to.

"Aren't you going to ask what I'm doing here?" He continued writing frantically and shook his head to which I sighed, resting my chin against the back of the chair. "Why are you always here?" I rushed to finish the sentence after realising how harsh it sounded. "I mean, I don't know any other teachers that spend their free time in their classroom."

"It beats being at home." He let slip out and then tensed. I guess he wasn't supposed to say that. But I wasn't going to act like I didn't hear it.

"Ditto." I smiled. "Who are you hiding from?"

He laughed, setting his pen down on the table. _His laugh was adorable._ It chilled through me and I couldn't help but smile back. "Who says I'm hiding?"

_Everyone's hiding._

"Because you came here for the same reason I did." I answered. "If you aren't here to hide then why are you here?"

He looked at me and let out a breath, defeated. "I'm here to hide." I grinned and clapped my hands to which he laughed. He swung he legs over the chair and stood up, leaving his things on the desk, then walked down a few rows until he was at the chair in front of me.

"I'll ask again. Who from?"

"My wife." He said with a moan as he slumped into the chair, leaning against the desk in front of him. _He's fucking married._ That puts hooking up with my teacher out of the equation.But he didn't sound too happy about it so that was a plus, right?

I wasn't sure what to say, I didn't want it to sound intrusive or creepy. So I nodded, hoping he would continue but he didn't. I fidgeted in my seat and decided to speak up. "I'm guessing there's more of a story there."

"There's always more of a story." He smiled. "But this one's not too interesting. I wouldn't want to bore you."

"Try me."

He groaned and stretched out his arms, allowing his shirt to tighten around his chest. I could see a line of skin and I couldn't help but let my mind wander. I snapped back to reality when he settled down again, looking at me when his mouth curved into a straight line. He most definitely did not appreciate my glaring at his body.

"Marriage isn't all it's cracked up to be, Lauren."

"I don't believe that." I said and he narrowed his eyes at me. I didn't mean to challenge him but I couldn't help myself. "Not if you love the person."

He stared at me for a moment and then shook his head, in what seemed like disgust. I really hope I wasn't pissing him off, even though I knew I was invading his privacy. "I love my wife." He said trying to convince me, or himself.

"I never said you didn't." I said throwing my hands into the air then nodding for him to continue.

"She wants children." _And it gets worse. _He said the word children as if it was some sickening feeling in his stomach. I tried my best not to laugh. But a light smile appeared over my face.

"And you don't?" I questioned.

"Not yet." He replied, honestly. I could hear the sincerity in his voice and I worried that I wasn't going to get anything else out of him. "I couldn't handle a child right now, with my job and everything." My mind wandered furiously about what that everything was.

"She doesn't understand it?"

"Not quite." He paused and the room filled with silence. I tapped my foot awkwardly to signal that I still listening. "Honestly," he started. "I wonder if I was right getting married in the first place." Now we were getting somewhere. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that." He mumbled jumping out of his seat.

"It's okay. I'm glad you did." I told him, attempting to give him a seductive look. _I don't know why I did that._

He stood still, settling down in his seat again. I smiled to him softly. "Your turn. Why are you hiding here?"

I could have told him it was a long story, one that I was embarrassed about, that I was trying to forget. I suddenly felt what it was like to have the ball on the other foot. I thought about telling him about Damon, or even about Edward. But he was my teacher, and he doesn't need to know about my sex life. "Boy trouble."

He let out a small laugh and I wanted to slap him across the back of the head, but that would make this even more inappropriate. He probably thought boy trouble meant having a crush on your best friend's brother. Unfortunately for me, it went a lot further than that.

"It's not funny!" I exclaimed, pushing my chair into the desk in front of him. He leant forward and tilted his head, smiling.

"I'm sorry," he laughed. "Please, go on. I'm listening." I rolled my eyes and sat back, leaning against the edge of the desk.

I sighed, and rubbed my forehead in frustration. "Do you want the shortened down clean version or the graphic full length version?" I asked to which his eyes widened in surprise slightly.

"Full length." He muttered in a low voice.

I swallowed and rested myself on the desk he was leaning on. "When I first came to New York, I had a one night stand with a very attractive guy called Damon. That's all it was, a one night stand. I thought I'd never see him again until a guy I met in my Creative Writing class asked me to a party, as his date. I agreed because he was sweet and I wanted to make new friends. Little did I know that he was best friends with Damon."

He remained expressionless, as he listened intently. He was leaving the conversation completely up to me, not wanting to interrupt until I was finished with my entire story. "Damon made things completely awkward given the fact Edward, that's the guy in from my class, didn't know about us. And he didn't have to because it didn't mean anything. Or so I thought. It turns out that Damon is persistent and he wouldn't leave me alone. But the worst part is that I didn't mind."

I frowned thinking back on everything and looking at where it's gotten me. "I started dating Edward then and made it my main priority to avoid Damon. It was working, despite the lack of spark, until my friend let it slip about me and Damon. Edward didn't take it well, and suggested I tackle my feelings for him head on and come back when I made my mind up."

He nodded, understanding whilst I continued with the story. "So, that's what I did. At Halloween, me and Damon hooked up again and I decided that I had feelings for him, ones that I couldn't ignore. But it turns out Damon isn't the relationship type so we agreed on a sex only friendship. I was going to tell Edward about everything but he started telling me about how much he cared about me and I just felt-"

"Trapped?" He chirped up to my surprise.

"Yes." I smiled. "I agreed to be with Edward out of pity and it hit me then that I was lying to both of them. Of course, it all came out. I apologised to Edward and he was very reasonable, more than he should have been. Then I decided to talk to Damon about my feelings to which he completely turned me down, leaving me here, completely alone."

"Not completely." He said, giving my hand a light squeeze before pulling it away quickly. "People make mistakes, Lauren. You don't need to hate yourself for it."

"I don't. I just wish it had ended up differently." I said honestly. Ignoring the fact that what I really wanted to say was that I wish Damon could open up and accept that we have something. But that wasn't something I wanted to get into, not with my teacher.

"Everything happens for a reason." He preached. I smiled despite the fact I thought that saying was the biggest pile of bullshit. Life sucks, and things happen. But not for any specific reason. "Maybe someone will come along. And I don't mean to sound like a parent, but a relationship involving just sex never works."

"I know." I nodded. "I was just settling, hoping for something more."

He nodded, understanding and relaxed back into seat. "After that therapy hour, I need a drink." He joked, with a laugh.

"Why don't we?" I asked, without even thinking. I probably shouldn't be offering to go for a drink with my teacher given the fact I'm underage and I'm supposed to think seeing him outside of school is weird. But I was enjoying his company, so I went for it.

"It's only noon." He laughed, standing up and sitting back down at the desk where he had left his work. I wasn't sure if it was because he felt uncomfortable, or if he just really needed to get back to work. I didn't question it.

"Not now." I replied. "Later."

He raised his eyebrow in confusion. "I...uh..."

"It's not a big deal. Just a few drinks." I promised, although in the back of my mind I couldn't help but wish for more. "We both need it."

I took his silence as a no and made my way down the staircase quickly. I came to a halt when he decided to reply. "A few drinks?"

"Yes." I smiled.

He took a deep breath before replying. "Sure." I smiled a little more than I probably should have. I didn't want him to think I was too excited, I had to be careful enough as it is not to scare him off. "I'll meet you here at nine."

"Sounds great." I replied whilst making my way out of the room. He watched me as I closed the door behind me, getting out of there so fast that he couldn't change his mind. This was just what I needed to get everything off my mind. I wasn't going to let an age difference ruin it.

To say Jenny didn't like the idea of me spending the night with Mr Northman was an understatement. She nearly had a panic attack when I told her, which was followed by an extremely long rant about teacher and student relationships. I tried to tell her it was just a drink, but she said the fact alcohol is involved only makes it more of a disaster.

"Why can't you go for normal men that don't cause any problems?" She questioned, throwing her hands into the air. "You don't think this is all a little fast after everything that happened with Damon? You need a breather."

"That is exactly what this is. A breather." I told her but it only earned a sigh. "I'm not going to do anything stupid. I've learnt my lesson."

"He's married." She declared as if it was something I was unaware of. "You can't seduce him with you perky body and your flirtatious eye roll. You'll only end up getting turned down, again and I don't handle another night of tears. Not many movies have naked Eric Bana."

I laughed at the fact she thought Eric Bana was my only celebrity crush. I have a list that I could show her but I didn't have the time. "I'm not going to seduce him. We just get on well."

"Then can I come?" She asked.

"No!" I practically shouted. _Way to make it obvious, _I thought. _Now she's never going to believe me._

"Where are you going anyways?" She questioned with a worried expression. Clearly my little declaration did not calm her nerves, it only worsened them. "I'd avoid you're usual spot. Damon tends to hang out there."

I frowned at his name. I hate that I'm going to have to stay away from familiar places because I've fucked up my relationship with someone who goes there often. I don't know many other places.

"We're going to a bar a little bit out of town." I told her and she tensed. "Only because we don't want to run into anybody. It would look strange." It would look more than strange. I'm pretty sure he could get fired.

"Then you shouldn't go." She wasn't going to give up, was she? I sighed and slid my heels on whilst I checked myself in the mirror. "And you most certainly should not be wearing your slut heels."

"My slut heels?" I wasn't aware I had slut heels. I didn't know whether to be offended or not. I thought I looked rather classy. _Obviously not._

"Yes." She said. "They're your sexy heels that made your legs look so long I question my sexuality." I burst out into a fit of laughter at her bluntness. I could only imagine Nate's reaction if he was here. He's so aloof he probably wouldn't understand what she meant.

"I'm glad that I'm your girl crush." I said with a wink.

"You know what I mean, Lauren." She said with a stern tone. "I know you better than you think. While you consciously want this evening out to be innocent, deep down there is something within you that will do whatever it takes to make sure it goes beyond that. That Lauren always gets you in bad situations. Situations that end in tears."

"Are you suggesting I have a split personality?" I joked with her, trying to ignore her comments because they were so accurate it frightened me. She must have got the physic thing from Edward. She narrowed her eyes, angrily at me. "I promise that I won't sleep with him."

"Oh, well that makes everything better." She said with a scoff.

I planted a kiss on her forehead, leaving my lipstick stain apparent. "I'll see you later. Don't wait up." I told her as I made my way to the door; I pushed out of it quickly and closed it behind me. I know she is going to be pissed off with me, but tonight was nothing but innocent. She had nothing to be worrying about.

The bar was nothing like I had expected. It was spacious, dark and definitely the kind of place you'd take someone so you don't run into anyone you know. I didn't mind though, I wasn't particularly wanting to be found. We found a comfortable seating area just opposite the bar and settled ourselves in, drinks in hand. I couldn't help but smile as he sipped on a pint of cider. _I'm sitting in a bar, with my professor. This is weird._

"Where's your wife this evening?" I asked. I was probably treading on dangerous territory but the alcohol in my hand and the atmosphere around me always had a quick affect on me, in all the wrong ways. Or right ways, depending on how you looked at it.

He eyed me up for a moment, before settling his glass onto the table. I couldn't help but admire how handsome he looked. He was out of his work clothes and was now venturing into his dark clothes which begged to be ripped off.

"She's visiting her parents for the weekend." He said with his mouth closed tightly.

"Why didn't you go with her?" I asked, taking a gulp of my drink, looking at him over the rim of the glass. I could feel his smiling at me, like he knew exactly why I was asking about his wife. I tried to play it as cool as I possibly could.

"My job requires me to stay here."

I nodded, deciding not to question him any further. I didn't want to make it uncomfortable for either of us. If I was going to ask him personal questions we were both going to need to be a lot drunker than we were now.

"So this Damon..." he started, causing me to jerk in surprise. It guess I was the only one who found the personal questions uncomfortable. Or maybe it was okay for me to be questioned. "What does he look like?"

_A God_, I thought. "Dark hair, blue eyes, a smirk that is forever stuck to his face." I smiled at the last comment.

"Does he wear leather jackets?" He said to my surprise. What kind of question is that? Is that on the usual check list of what people look like? Or is he going to be Damon's secret uncle and he knew who I was talking about the whole time? That would be horrible.

"Yes." I muttered with both eyes wide open. "How do you know that?"

He laughed at my shock which only confused me more. "Because there is a guy with that description across the bar who hasn't took his eyes off you since we entered." My mouth fell open in surprise, desperately wanting to look over to confirm what Eric had said. "I took a guess. You should probably look for yourself."

I let my hair fall slightly over my eyes and tilted my head to the left allowing me a clear view, but to everyone else, I was just moving my head. I searched across the bar until my gaze met his. I felt a mixture of worry and excitement flow through me. I shook myself lightly, now wanting his presence to affect my time with Eric. Damon told me blatantly what he wanted and if he thinks staring at me is going to get me back in his bed, he is wrong.

"It's him." I said with a low voice that had a tinge of pain.

"Do you want to leave?" He looked at me with sympathetic eyes, and occasionally flickered up to Damon. I wanted to tell him to stop making it so obvious that we were talking about him. He didn't deserve the attention.

I shook my head and took another gulp out of my glass. "I'm not leaving because of him."

"You sure?"

_Stop with the puppy dog eyes. It makes my toes curl._

"I'm sure." I replied to which he nodded, settling back into his seat and ignoring the blue eyed man across the room completely. It was killing me not being able to look at him, knowing he was so close. I could practically feel his eyes burning into my side and it was nothing but distracting.

After a few more drinks I was feeling a lot looser, and it was evident that Eric was too. He had his arm slung across the chair behind me and he was sitting a lot closer so that every so often our knees would tap together. He was talking about his wife again, and how she and him have been dating since high school. Noticing my shocked expression, he told me that she was his first girlfriend.

"So you've never had sex with anyone else?" I blurted out.

He laughed and let his hand fall to my knee. It was only a friendly gesture but I couldn't help the shivers that flew through me the moment he touched me. It didn't last long as his hand quickly jumped up to scratch his chin lightly.

"There have been other women." He smirked. I raised my eyebrow confused as to how that works, unless he had very reckless teenage years. I wouldn't class them as women if that was so. Noticing my expression he decided to elaborate. "We've broken up before, and I guess you could say I used that time to experiment."

"No men?" I questioned leaning forward as he laughed again. I was starting to become very fond of that laugh.

He shook his head, staring at me lightly before looking towards Damon's direction again. He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "Don't look around."

"Why?" _When someone says that, the last thing you want to do is not look around. _

He looked concerned and leaned closer with a frown. "Damon has his arm wrapped round some dark haired girl." I swallowed wanting to snap around to see who the bitch was. "If it helps she looks like a slut."

I smiled at his remark. _Yes, the alcohol was most certainly getting to him. _"What does that make me?"

"You're better than those girls." He smiled and I felt my insides bubble. He sat back in his seat lifting his phone out of his pocket which was lit with a new message.

"I'm going to the bar." I said whilst sliding out of my seat. He nodded, not lifting his gaze. I couldn't help but wonder if it was his wife asking him what he was doing as she spent her evening with her parents. _It suddenly felt wrong._

When I reached the bar, I called over to the bartender and ordered our drinks. I looked back to the table to see Eric wasn't there. I looked around me swiftly as I watched him walk towards the bathroom with his phone to his ear. My mind automatically thought the worst. What if she knew? _Knew what? We weren't doing anything. _I sighed, resting against the counter when a female figure slid in beside me.

"Who's the man candy you've got with you tonight?"

I snapped round immediately at hearing the familiar voice. "Katherine?" I half breathed. She was the girl Damon had with her. I thought she didn't want anything to do with him. She warned me off him. Why was she with him? And why the hell was he with her? My mind started overloading with thoughts. What if she was the girl who was in his bed this morning? Or the girl at his party? Was she another me?

"I should have known you were here. Damon's been acting weird all night." She said signalling to the bartender. I felt my stomach tingle at the mention of his behaviour changing because of my presence.

"Weird how?" I asked, trying to be subtle.

She raised an eyebrow at me, turning to face me completely. "You're still a bad actress." I grunted inwardly. I should really work on my acting, it's getting me nowhere. "If you really want to know then just ask, sweetie."

I rolled my eyes at the nickname. "Fine. I'd like to know what you mean by him acting weird."

She smiled, looking like she accomplished something. I mentally slapped her. She was so arrogant, maybe she was better off with Damon. Two of a fucking kind. "He got less interested in the conversation, got grumpy when I asked for a kiss and I'm pretty sure he hasn't looked away from your direction the entire night."

_So I've heard. _I couldn't help but smile. He was jealous and even one of his fuck buddies was able to admit that.

"Don't let it go to your head." She said, ruining my moment. "It doesn't change anything. He told me about your conversation this morning." I tensed at the thought of him spilling our intimate moments with other people. Did it really mean that little to him? "Bad move. I understand your motives. I've been there. But you just pushed him further away than he was before."

"I know that." I groaned at her, taking the drink the bartender just left in front of me. "If you're so aware of how he is then why did you go back to him?"

She smirked at me, lifting her cocktail of the counter. "He's a good fuck, especially when he's hurt." She paused stalking away before finishing. "I guess I should thank you for the great sex."

I cringed as she laughed making her way back to Damon. Her words had stung me. I was the reason he was with her tonight. I hurt him, and he got his revenge by fucking the first girl he could find. I didn't know whether to be offended or embarrassed for Katherine. I walked back to the table setting the drink down and sliding into the seat.

"Sorry about that." Eric apologised when he returned from the bathroom.

"Who was it?" I asked still a little edgy from my conversation with Katherine. He didn't seem to notice when he sat back down, taking a large gulp from his pint.

"A friend." I nodded, not wanting to push him any further despite the fact at the back of my mind I knew it was his wife. "Anything interesting happen when I was gone?" I laughed at the irony of his question. If only he knew. I guess a lot can happen in five minutes.

"Nope." I replied. "I've going to go to the bathroom." I slid out of the seat again and scurried towards the toilets. I was in desperate need to regain my composure and I couldn't do that knowing Damon was sitting mere metres away from me.

I walked out of the bathroom minutes later, not wanting to leave Eric waiting any longer. Before Katherine interrupted we were getting along well, despite the close proximity. I couldn't shake the words she told me. But for once I was actually having fun and I wasn't going to let you know who ruin my evening.

"You move fast." _And I spoke too soon._

I felt my stomach tense and I turned on my heel to face the blue eyed boy glaring down at me. I actually hoped I was going to go one night without any angsty conversations with him. It turns out he had other plans, despite our conversation this morning which kind of gave me the impression he wasn't interested.

"I could say the same for you." I replied with my hands on my hips. Two could play this game and I wasn't going to listen to him spout pointless double standards. If he could fuck Katherine, then I could most certainly have drinks with Eric.

"It's not the same." He groaned. I raised my eyebrows and sighed loudly. Of course it wasn't the same. Because you have a dick and in Damon's little world he can do whatever he wants with said dick. Maybe he should shove it up his asshole. If that's possible.

"How?" I snapped back.

"Because I didn't claim to have feelings for you a number of hours ago." He snarled. I wanted to attack him. I literally wanted to tackle him to the floor and beat his pretty boy face. He dare he interrupt my night just to make more nasty remarks. I felt anger building up within me and countless swear words nearly slipped off my tongue.

I turned around quickly to walk away. Obviously not quick enough because his fingers were wrapped on my wrist instantly. I attempted to move away but it didn't work, he wasn't going to budge.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." He said quietly.

I turned to face him again, making sure I looked as furious as I could. "Yes, you did. But it doesn't matter." He sighed at my attempt to start an argument he wasn't willing to have. "Just let me go. Please."

He let go slowly, holding his hands into the air as he surrendered. I watched him for a moment, forgetting that I was probably supposed to have some epic storm off. _Now would be a good time to leave, _I told myself.

"Who's the freakishly tall dude?" He asked nodding towards my table were Eric waiting.

I rolled my eyes at his comment which probably wasn't intended to be rude. Maybe he has word vomit to. "What do you want Damon? You made it clear this morning that you didn't wish to speak to me unless I wanted to have sex with you."

"Well do you?" He smirked.

"What?" I asked, even though I knew exactly what he was getting at.

"Do you want to have sex with me?" He leaned forward to which I immediately stepped back. I had surprised him. He expected me to close my eyes and moan into his ear like I always had. He didn't like that the ball was now in my court.

"No." I replied, crossing my arms. He nodded, like he was accepting my response. Is that personal growth I see?

"I still want to talk to you though."

"Why?" I snapped back. I hated the mixed signals he was sending me. I knew it was only because he seen me with another guy. If I had been here with Jenny he wouldn't have looked twice. And he most certainly wouldn't have stopped me to have conversation.

"I want to know who that guy is." He questioned for the second time, confirming any doubts I had.

"That's it?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders roughly. I don't know what I expected him to want to talk about. But I didn't think he'd be so blunt about it.

"No." He frowned, looking down briefly before meeting my eyes again. I was patiently waiting him to talk but he just stood there motionless. He opened his mouth to speak but I stormed off so fast that he didn't have a chance to grab me this time.

I slid into my seat beside Eric with a groan. I felt him look at me, concerned. But I just ignored him and suggested we do something to take my mind of things. "Let's do shots!"

A blonde haired waitress brought a tray of numerous shots over to me and Eric, setting them down on the table in front of us. We both looked at each other not sure where to start. I didn't know what any of them were, or what they'd taste like. All I knew is that I wanted to get a whole lot more drunk a whole lot faster.

I lifted the one that looked the strongest of the table. It was black, and if I was being honest it looked like something that came out of someone's rear end. Not very appetising but I hope it does the trick. I brought it up to my lips before necking it down in one swift gulp. I coughed violently at the burning aftertaste. It not only looked like something from a rear end, it also tasted like it. _Not that I knew what that tasted like._

I watched Eric laugh at me quietly noticing that he had set his shot glass down on the table. I lifted it up and followed the same actions as before. I did that with the next 3 shots until the thumping in my head was telling me it was time to stop.

"You alright?" He asked, smiling as he squeezed my shoulder.

"Yes. I've a feeling I'll regret that in the morning." I said whilst rubbing my head, earning a loud laugh from the man beside me. He was supposed to be drunk, and I was supposed to be the sober one. How did it end up the other way round? And when did I become such a lightweight?

"Probably." He laughed. "Good thing it's Sunday."

"I wouldn't dare turn into your class on Monday with a hangover." I winked, leaning towards him as I rest my head against the back of the seat. It turns out shots go to your head very quickly.

"I'm glad." He smiled.

"You should drink some more." I said, pushing his full pint towards him. "It's not fair that I'm the only drunk one here."

"I don't think that's wise." He replied, with a half smile as he looked away. I raised my eyebrow in confusion. How is it not wise? _Drinking is fun, _I thought. Oh God, even my thoughts were drunk.

I felt him relax against the seat beside me, now leaning his head backwards in the same manner as me. "Why?" I challenged.

"Because one of us needs to be responsible."

"Why?" I repeated. I knew I was pushing boundaries but I couldn't help as the words continued to spill out of me. I could always just blame the alcohol in the morning, so I'm not really at fault.

"I don't trust myself not to do something stupid." He said as he stared deeply straight into my eyes. I didn't realise how close we are until that moment. All I had to do was lean forward an inch and we would be touching.

But I couldn't even consider it because I was startled when two people sat directly in the seats in front of us, causing both me and Eric to jump back up. My head slapped me for moving so quickly.

"Did we interrupt something?" Katherine questioned whilst staring at Eric. I felt like shouting 'hands off slut, he's married.' But I'd only make myself out to be a fool if I did that.

"No." I replied, straightening myself up. "What do you want?

Katherine let out a small laugh and looked at me. "That's no way to introduce someone. I'm Katherine." She said smiling at Eric. It didn't seem to have any effect on him and I celebrated mentally. "And this is Damon."

Damon didn't even speak, or shift his gaze from me. It was noticeable to everyone at the table and I shifted uncomfortably.

"Nice to meet you both." Eric said. He was too damn polite. It was most certainly not nice to meet them. What even possessed them to come over here? Have they lost their minds?

"How do you know Lauren?" Katherine asked whilst fiddling with her hair. I looked over at Damon and caught his gaze, smiling at him. It was the alcohol's fault. I was able to maintain my scowl earlier, but I wasn't able to control what happens to my facial expressions when I'm intoxicated.

"Old friend." He lied. "Friend of the family."

"Have you fucked?" Damon asked, finally taking his eyes off mine.

I nearly fell of my seat in shock. I cannot believe he just asked my teacher if I'd had sex with him. That was taking jealousy to a whole other level. My cheeks turned red with embarrassed and all of a sudden it was very hot.

"Damon!" I exclaimed. "That is so inappropriate and none of your business."

"So you haven't fucked yet but you plan to tonight?" He really was pushing it. He had no morals and he didn't care who he hurt. I was so infuriated. Alcohol and anger are not a good mix. I slammed my hand down on table, causing everyone but the man I was angry with to jump.

"You are a fucking ignorant asshole." I shouted. "Why won't you just piss off? You are the one who closed the door in my face this morning. I hate your guts and I'd appreciate never seeing your stupid face ever again."

His smirk didn't fade but Katherine was looking at me like I had lost my mind. Silence filled over the table and I couldn't take it anymore. "Let's go, Eric." I commanded, standing up from the table and storming towards the door.

The cold air hit me when I was outside, making me realise how drunk I really was. I groaned as my head pounded. I just wanted to go home. Jenny was right. Tonight was a disaster, I should never have come.

"You okay?" I felt a hand on my shoulder as I turned round to stare up at the tall blonde haired man in front of me.

"No." I replied, honestly. "I want to beat him in the face."

He laughed and surprised me when he pulled me into a tight hug. It wasn't anything sexual and I knew he was just trying to be supportive. I pulled him closer as I wrapped my arms around him. "I'm sorry you had to witness that. I should have figured I can't have a night out without it being dramatic." I mumbled into his chest.

"That's not your fault. You just surround yourself with the wrong people." He replied, still holding me closely. I looked up at him as he towered over me, and smiled.

"Maybe I should stick with you."

He looked down at me and bit his lip. He was thinking about something and by the way he was looking at me, it was probably something he shouldn't be thinking about. I stood up on my tip toes attempting to reach his level, but even then he was still too tall for me. I was about to give up when he leant down so we were almost the same height, but close enough that our faces were touching.

I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent as I drifted forward, closing the gap between us. Our lips touched so softly that it felt like they weren't even touching. It was safe and careful. I wasn't going to throw myself at him. He was tense and his grip around my waist was suddenly gone. I was about to pull myself off him when his hands were cupping my face as he kissed me harder. He was moving his lips with mine finally and my knees almost caved in at the thought of it. I was so surprised that I let out a loud moan I didn't realise I was suppressing.

And then he pulled off me. I fell back onto my heels and he was no longer leaning down. Neither of us said a word. He was touching his lips with the tips of his fingers as if they had just been burnt. I opened my mouth to speak when he turned round and started speed walking down the street.

I thought about calling or chasing after him. But what good would it do? He had every right to run away. He was my professor and he was married. This was all kinds of wrong and I hated myself for seducing him just because I was hurt about some jackass guy.

I groaned and ran a hand through my hair. I'm an emotional mess and I had no clue what I was doing. I pulled out my phone, calling a cab after realising I was outside of town and there was no way I could walk home.

"Scare your date off?"

Oh for fuck sakes. You'd think my aggression as I punched the table would be a sign that I didn't want to be spoken to. "Go away, Damon."

He sighed and slid his hands into his pockets. "I wasn't going to speak to you until I seen your date sprint down the street after you kissed him. I was going to ask if you were okay for a ride home."

_What a bullshitter,_ I thought. "I'm fine." I replied, ignoring him.

"I'm really sorry for earlier. I was jealous and I didn't want you to go home with him." He told me, honestly.

"I wasn't going to go home with him." I said. "I've told you before that I don't do that very often. It's not like I come to bars to find men that will fuck my brains out."

"I fucked your brains out?" He smirked. I groaned instantly regretting what I had said as I moved away from him slightly. "I'm kidding. I know you're not that kind of girl. I don't let those kind of girls stay over. They're out before the suns up."

I smiled, remembering how he woke me up to a cup of coffee, and of course the wonderful morning sex. It didn't change anything though. I didn't chance the fact that he told me he doesn't and never will have feelings for me. I couldn't wait for him to make up his mind forever.

"Tell me one thing." I asked, turning to face him. He nodded for me to continue. "Did you mean everything you said to me this morning?"

He tensed at my question and ran a rough hand through his hair as he took a step forward. "No." I felt my stomach flip at the thought. But I didn't even know what part he was referring too.

"Which part was a lie?" I asked smiling up at him. I waited for a reply but he didn't say anything. He looked at the ground and fidgeted with his hands. He was never going to be able to open up and I couldn't be bothered dealing with it anymore. It was too much effort and I didn't have the energy. "That's what I thought."

My cab pulled up in front of me and I opened the door quickly, sliding inside. I watched Damon as he glared at me through the window. I turned my head to avoid tears building, remembering what Katherine had said earlier. I had hurt him. And I couldn't help but think that he had the same expression now as he had last night. He was hiding something and a part of me was desperate to find out what.

**I don't know any characters apart from Lauren. Sorry for abrupt ending and lack of Edward. And not much Damon. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I had somehow managed to sneak into the dorm room without earning a peep from Jenny. She was sound asleep, with her phone lying on her chest, probably after having a conversation with Nate. I smiled, slipping out of my clothes and into something more comfortable before sliding into bed.

Laying with my head against the pillow it all came back to me. I kissed my married professor, and for a split second he most definitely did not protest. He kissed me back. Before running down the street like a lunatic. But it happened, and I wasn't dreaming it. I know nothing could ever come of it, apart from heartache but this was something I could tell my grandkids. _Or maybe not, now I think about it._

I sighed, lifting my phone as the light shone in my face hurting my eyes. I looked at my contacts list and tapped Edward's name to send him a message about meeting me for coffee tomorrow. I don't know why I felt the sudden urge to talk to him. But I should at least explain what happened with Damon.

A few moments later, I fell asleep and wasn't awoken until the curtains were being pulled open and the sun was hitting me like a fucking alarm clock. I rolled over in my sleep, hiding my head under the pillow to get some shade.

"Wake up, right now." Jenny moaned, and I could feel her standing over me.

"Why?" I whined. "It's Sunday!"

"You need to tell me about last night or so help me God I will strangle you with my thong." Now there is an image I don't want.

I reluctantly removed the pillow from over my head and sighed whilst looking at the blonde staring at me with judging eyes. I haven't even told her about the kiss yet and she is already presuming the worst of me. I suppose I haven't given her any reason not to.

"Can't I tell you at a reasonable hour?" I asked.

"No." And that was all it took before she dragged me by the arm, lifting me out of my comfortable position. I groaned, rubbing my forehead and sat up in the bed, with Jenny resting on top of my feet.

"You promise, no matter what that you won't judge me?" I asked to which to she nodded. I sighed and decided the best thing was to be honest. Even if it might earn me a slap in the face. "I kissed Mr Northman."

"You what?" She yelled, jumping to her feet. I shifted backwards in fear. She looked like I had just told her I murdered her family. Her face flushed red and she held onto her stomach as though she was going to vomit. Her eyes darkened and then quickly softened as she sat back down on the bed. "You did what?" She repeated a lot quieter.

"It wasn't on purpose." I frowned, looking downwards. "I got into a fight with Damon-"

"Damon was there?" She questioned with a confused expression. _I guess I forgot to mention that. _

I nodded. "With Katherine." She raised her eyebrow at me, unaware of who she was. I just shook my head and decided to continue. We could discuss that at a different point in time. "He was being inappropriate about me and Eric. I stormed out very angry and Eric followed me."

"I thought Damon didn't want to speak?" _So did I, _I thought.

"When is he ever honest about anything?" I asked, thinking about how he mentioned he lied during our conversation outside his apartment. I desperately needed to know what part he was referring to.

"Reminds me of you." She said with a smirk.

I ignored her comment and continued. "I was a little intoxicated." I could have swore I heard Jenny mutter 'as always' under her breath. "And Eric hugged me. Then I kissed him." I was reliving the moment in my head for about the fourth time.

"Did he kiss you back?"

_Yes. _"Sort of. He ran away not long into it though." I smiled.

"Like, literally ran?" Jenny asked and I nodded leaving us both laughing at the image of our professor running down the street. After we calmed down a bit, I knew there was one thing she was desperate to ask me. "What are you doing to say to him tomorrow?"

_That's not what I thought her question was going to be. _I must be the only person in this school who can't read minds.

"I don't know." I paused. I hadn't thought about it, I was too busy absorbing it all too even think about what will happen tomorrow. "I suppose we'll have to talk about it. I mean, he's married. We'll probably just forget about it." _That's what would be best._

"But every time you look at him will you not be picturing doing him on the desk?"

"Well, I will now." I replied. I curse her for putting that thought in my head. How am I supposed to sit through a boring History lesson without looking at the desk and thinking about being naked on top of it with Eric naked on top of me?

She smiled and moved herself off the bed. "I'm glad you're thinking smartly about this. No pursuing the teacher. You have enough boy troubles as it is." I had to agree with her, I thought that my love triangle was bad enough. But adding a confused, lonely teacher takes it to another ball game.

"Speaking of boy troubles." I reminded myself of my coffee date with Edward. I checked my phone and smiled to see he had agreed to meet up with me. "I'm meeting Edward for coffee this afternoon."

"Why?" She raised an eyebrow.

What did she mean by why? I don't remember ever mentioning that I never wanted to speak to him again. I wanted to be friends with him. We have a lot in common. In fact, I precisely remember mentioning that he offered his shoulder for me to cry on.

"I thought he ought to be told about what happened with Damon." I replied, honestly.

"You aren't going to get back together with him, are you?" I just rolled my eyes at her question. Why on earth would I even consider that given the fact that being in a relationship with Edward is what messed everything up? "I'll take that as a no."

I laughed, jumping out of bed and making my way towards the bathroom. "Thanks for your concern, but I'm able to have a cup of coffee without ending up in a relationship."

"We'll see about that when you come home later." She snorted from her bed. I loved her lack of faith in me.

I arrived at the coffee shop a little earlier and I was surprised to find Edward already sitting at a table with two cups waiting. I smiled and couldn't help but think this was very like him. Despite everything, he'd always be the gentleman. It was unfair to my heart how sweet he was.

"Hey," I said towering over him. "Thanks for meeting me."

He nodded and gestured down to the seat in front of him, which I quickly obliged. I couldn't help feel uncomfortable. The last time I had seen him both of our emotions were all over the place. He was hurt, and I left him for Damon, convinced that he had feelings for me. _Which he didn't._

"What did you want to talk about?" He smiled, zipping on his coffee.

"Just general chit chat." I lied.

He raised an eyebrow and rested his head on the palm of his hand. "Really?" He laughed. "I thought it was going to be about Damon."

"How do you do that?" I exclaimed. It was like he was constantly in my head, or he had a transcript of everything I was going to say. If he did, that would give him an advantage in everything and that's just evil.

"Do what?" He asked, looking genuinely confused.

"It's like you can read my mind." I stated bending forward whispering. He giggled and ran a hand through his hair. I'm glad he thought it was funny. Even though it wasn't necessarily my intention.

"I don't have any secrets, I'm afraid." He grinned. _I wasn't convinced._

"Then how do you do it?" I asked, determined to get my answer. He stared at me for a moment before refocusing his attention on the cup in front of him.

"I guess I just know you well." He smiled. I couldn't help but grin back. He really was charming, and I had to rethink what I had promised Jenny earlier today. I shouldn't be saying things that I'm not sure I can stick to. It's like a crazy diet. "Or I have superpowers."

_Way to ruin a moment. _"I'm thinking it's the first option though." _That's better._ "Now what did you really want to talk to me about?

"I spoke to Damon." I blurted out before thinking. I wasn't sure if the topic of Damon was going to be a sore spot. But he did say I could lean on him when I needed him. He really shouldn't promise that kind of thing if he didn't mean it. I hate false hope. "I told him about my feelings."

"And?" One word? That's all he could say?

"And you were right." I spat out. It was almost painful to say. "He turned me down."

Silence filled the air and I was ready to run out of the shop when he decided to speak. "Why are you telling me this?" He questioned. I didn't know the answer. I thought it would help his pride, or make him feel like he got his revenge. But from his expression he didn't feel any of that.

"I thought you'd like to gloat."

He shook his head. "I don't like seeing two people I care about hurting." I widened my eyes at the mention of two people, my mind snapping back to when Katherine had said I hurt Damon. Did he and Edward talk about what I did to them? I thought they were mad at each other. I assumed they were. "Yes, Damon was hurt."

_Fucking mind reader._

"You two spoke after he turned me down?" I questioned, wanting to know what they spoke about. And what Damon said about me. Maybe he told Edward everything he couldn't tell me.

"What do you want to know Lauren?" He smirked.

_Everything. _"Did he...I mean, what did he say about me?" I stammered. Oh God, since when did I turn into an eleven year old? It seems I forgot how to hold a coherent conversation overnight.

Edward let out a small laugh and relaxed into his seat. "Damon says a lot of things. Be more specific." I grunted at how vague he was being. I'm pretty sure it was on purpose, just in spite of me. Maybe this was the revenge he was getting.

"Edward, don't push it. This is embarrassing enough as it is." I retorted, slamming my cup off the coffee table a little too harshly.

He giggled and rested his elbows on the table. He loved that he had the upper hand in this conversation and he was using it to his advantage. "I'm being honest. He said a lot. Maybe a little too much. There were some things that your ex boyfriend didn't need to hear."

"Just tell me how he feels about me."

"That's one thing I don't know." He answered. Well, this was useless. If Damon supposedly tells him everything, then how come he didn't mention whether he likes me or not. You'd think that would be under the category of everything. "He isn't the kind of person to talk about that side of him."

"Not even to his best friend?" I moaned. At least now I know he had that side of him, he just wasn't willing to show it.

"Especially not to me." He emphasised. "He doesn't like to feel exposed, or vulnerable. If he does have feelings for you the only way you can find out is if you make him realise."

_Make him realise, how? _

"That does not include seducing him. Give him sex and you give him more reason to believe you're nothing more than a fuck." Edward told me. I've been doing it wrong the whole time; I thought sex was the way to his heart. But in reality I pushed him further away. That's just typical.

"Then what do I do?" I questioned, desperately.

"Take it step by step. Grow closer at your own pace. He'll become attached and will be forced to confront his feelings." He told me and I smiled. "Although, that could end badly for everyone if he gets mad at you for making him open up."

_Well, isn't this just a lovely conundrum? _

"I think the positives outweigh the negatives." I smiled and he shrugged.

"Then you need a plan, because if you think making Damon open up is going to be easy then you have no idea what you're in for." He laughed, making me feel like an idiot. "You need a guide to insure success."

"I didn't realise we were in some weird romantic comedy." I snorted.

"Are you going to take this seriously?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at me. I nodded like a hypnotised puppet. Edward's serious face is not fun. I much prefer whenever he looked like a happy puppy. He lifted out a notebook from his bag and started jotting down notes on the page.

"Why did you have that with you?" I asked, confused. But he just shrugged and continued writing.

"It all comes down to five steps." He started. "The first one of course being the 'let's be friends' conversation which you'll have tonight." He was beginning to sound like a woman's magazine. I couldn't help but wonder if he invested some time in reading those strange columns.

"Second step will be hanging out during the day, as friends." He stated as if it was obvious. "Third will be at night."

"Where did you learn this stuff?" I asked, curious. But he just ignored me. He really was in the zone.

"Fourth will be-"

"Let me guess." I interrupted. "Going on a date."

"No." He snapped. "Fourth is a late night sleepover." Oh, well that one sounded interesting. "No touching." He finished, completely ruining my fantasy. He had a habit of doing that.

"Well, that's just no fun." It would be physically impossible for me to spend the night at Damon's house without touching him. My clothes would just rip themselves off and then there would be nothing else I could do.

"Tough luck." He smirked. "And fifth is when you will ask him about his feelings, to which he hopefully doesn't turn you down." There was so much optimism it could cure cancer. I hope you can tell I'm being sarcastic.

"And if he does?" That was the only question that was haunting my mind.

He sighed, clearly thinking of an appropriate way to tell me to move on. There was no way to do that, unfortunately. "Then we'll think of something else when it comes closer to the time." That wasn't very convincing. And it really didn't give me much hope. But I suppose I'd have to take it.

"Why are you helping me?" I asked. "I hurt you, and you are trying to set me up with the guy involved in hurting you?" It didn't make sense. I know he's a noble guy and he likes to do the right thing. But this was too friendly.

He was smiling and rubbed his chin. "I'm just a nice guy." _And not modest at all._

I rolled my eyes, not willing to accept that as an answer, and he knew I wasn't going to. "What do you get from this, Edward?"

"I get to see Damon open up for once in his life, and I can't tell you how long I've been waiting for that to happen." He said with a soft smile. "And I think you would be good together." _Then why did you date me?_ I thought.

"Surely he's opened up to you before." I questioned. Everyone opens up at one point in their life, whether they like it or not.

"I told you, he talks to me about a lot of things. Just not his feelings." I frowned at the thought of having so many feelings and never being able to discuss them. Your head would combust, or you'd go insane. That is not healthy for anybody.

"So, you have no other motives at all?" I asked quirking my eyebrow.

"None." He bent forward smiling. "I promise." And I believed him because what other choice did I have? I had no reason not to believe him and until he gave me a reason not to, I would do what he asked. I owed him that.

"Well then." I relaxed. "Where do we begin?"

I followed Edward's rules precisely as I made my way to Damon's apartment. I was going to tell him I wanted to be friends, and I was terrified of his response. What if he didn't want to be friends? It most certainly didn't seem like that from all the previous conversation's we had. What if he snarled at me with some nasty comment? I don't think I could handle it. _What if Katherine was there?_

I stood outside his apartment for a moment, looking at the surroundings as I remembered what happened here a few days ago. I could still hear his harsh words and feel the tears dripping down my face. _Was he worth this? Was he worth the 5 steps in order to make him open up? _I have never been one for games, but if a game is what it is going to take to get what I want then a game it will be.

I knocked his door lightly and stood a step back. There was no response so I knocked again harder this time. I barely had time to take my hand of the door when I felt it opening slightly. Damon appeared at the doorway stood only in his boxers. _He was going to make this hard for me, wasn't he? _

His eyes widened when he seen me, and neither of us said a word. He swung the door open completely me and signalled me to enter. I smiled knowing that it wasn't going to be a corridor conversation. That was an improvement for both of us.

I looked around his apartment and was glad to find it empty. _No girl's in his bed today. _The door closed shut behind me and he let out a tired grunt. Looks like somebody got in a lot later than I did. He must have only awakened and it was after 1pm.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I want to talk to you."

He smiled making his way towards the kitchen, turning the kettle on. "I didn't think you wanted to come here to sit in silence." He replied sarcastically. Why did I want to be friends with him again?

I slid onto the stool at his counter, trying to make this conversation as informal as possible and not like some discussion about friendship. But given the fact it was a discussion about friendship, that proved to be very difficult.

"What did you do when I left last night?" I asked, thinking it was a reasonable conversation starter. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye as he poured the hot water into his cup, then bringing it up to his lips. He likes his coffee black. You learn something new every day.

"I knocked back a few more beers then went back to Katherine's for a few hours, then came home." He smirked. I could only imagine what him and slutty Katherine got up to in those few hours alone together. _I wonder if it was better than the things we did. _"Cut the small talk, Lauren. Why are you here?"

I was startled at how close he had gotten, leaning towards me over the counter. I shifted backwards in my chair and I almost fell off it. "I have a proposition."

He raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. He thought I meant a sexual favour, and although that sounds very appealing, it is not what I came here for. "I'm all ears." He winked, bringing the cup back up to his mouth, licking his lips.

"I want to be friends." I spat out.

He swallowed loudly on the warm liquid, surprised by my statement. I'm pretty sure that was the last thing he thought I would say. And if I'm being honest it was the last thing I thought I would ever say. It's weird how the world works.

"Friends?" He questioned like it was an unknown term.

"Yes, friends." I smiled. "You know, like you and Edward. Or me and Jenny." I tried to convince him but he looked as confused as he was before.

"Why do you want that?" He asked, no longer leaning forward. _Because I want you back in my pants, _I thought. He looked completely mind fucked by the suggestion. I guess he doesn't usually have female friends. At least not the kind he has slept with before.

"Because I actually enjoy your company and it's a shame that we can't continue...enjoying each other's company because of what happened." I was trying to convince myself more than convince him. I had no idea what the hell I was doing. "I want to start fresh."

He looked at me for a moment before sitting back into his seat. "No sex?" He asked with a pout.

"No." _Unfortunately._

He looked more disappointed than I did, and that really is saying something. "If that's what you really want." He looked at me and I nodded, lying. If I told him what I really wanted it would frighten him. "I'm game."

"You are?" I asked, jumping up.

"Yes." He smiled, finishing his cup of coffee and throwing it into the sink. We stood awkwardly beside each other not knowing where to go with this next. I made a mental note to call Edward and ask him. He seemed to know everything about it. "Are we supposed to hug now or?"

I laughed and shook my head, heading back towards the door. "I have to go, but I will call you to hang out sometime, okay?" He nodded and I smiled at him.

"Thanks for coming by, friend." He winked, opening the door for me with a giggle. I slipped out and he closed it behind me. I had actually gotten a successful result from this conversation and the first thing I did was rush home to tell Jenny.

"You what?" Jenny exclaimed as she jumped off her bed. Apparently the concept of me being friends with Damon was very hard for her to come to grips with. It was so mind blowing that she knew instantly there was more to the story.

"It comes down to 5 steps, and Edward is going to help me." I smiled.

"Why would Edward want to help you with this?" She snorted, crossing her arms. I wanted to slap her for ruining my good mood. "You don't think it's some game for him to get his revenge?"

"No, I don't." _I hoped not._

"Damon doesn't do friends." She told me, sincerely. _He does now, _I thought. "I've never seen him be friendly with anyone other than Edward, never mind a hot girl." I'm glad that she agrees I am special. "He has something else on his mind."

"We spoke about the no sex." I told her. "He's fine with it."

"He's appearing to be fine with it. He will try to seduce you, and if I know you well enough, you will give in." She argued. I am glad she has so much faith in me; it really makes this whole thing a lot more fun to do. "You have zero control when it comes to him."

"I do too!" I moaned, even though she was completely right.

"Whatever." She mumbled. "I just don't like mind games, and that is exactly what you are going to do. What if when you finish all your steps Damon still doesn't want you?" She narrowed her eyes.

I paused, remembering that Edward hadn't given me an answer to that question. "We will cross that bridge when we come to it."

"You're going to get hurt." She snapped.

"No, I'm not." I rolled my eyes and rested my head against my pillow. "I have everything under control." I realised how cliché I sounded, knowing that usually when people say things like that everything turns to shit.

"I mean, this step is just ridiculous." She groaned, pointing a number four. "You wouldn't last one night without touching Damon. No female that isn't related to him would be able to do that. And if you think he'll keep his hands to himself you're insane."

"I don't know all the details yet." I half shouted fed up with her attacking me. "Edward said I-"

"Edward's words mean fuck all. What does he know about this?" She shouted back at me and for a moment I was actually terrified. I've never seen Jenny this frustrated, and I hated that it was because of me.

"He's Damon's best friend." I reminded her.

"And I'm his step sister." I forgot about that. I frowned and looked down at my hands feeling defeated. "I know how he operates. I've seen him do these things a thousand times. I just wish you would move on."

I glared up at her, completely irritated that she didn't understand. I was being honest with her; I thought that was what she wanted. But all she has done is yell at me and make me feel like a stupid little girl.

"And what do you think Damon will do when he finds out you played him?" She questioned again. "It will push him further away, again."

"This is my decision." I said, throwing my hands into the air and standing up to be level with her. "I'm choosing to do this. I don't expect you to respect it, but you have to accept it." I looked at her in the eyes and she said nothing. I groaned and grabbed my bag, making my way out of the door as I slammed it loud enough that it would have had an impact.

I stormed my way through the long corridors as a small tear dripped down my face. It must have been around 4pm and I noticed some classes were going on so I tried to be as quiet as possible. _Who the heck comes to class on a Sunday? _I made my way to the familiar lecture room, part of me hoping he would be there, and the other part terrified of seeing his face after last night.

I ignored my thoughts and let out a deep breath when I pushed the door open. I didn't realise what state I was in, or even the fact I was sniffing like a maniac to hide my tears. My heart jerked a little when Mr Northman looked up at me from his desk. He looked confused, terrified and worried all in one. I thought he was going to tell me to get out, but he stood up slowly and smiled.

"What's wrong?" He asked, and I let out a sob running towards him, throwing my arms around his body in the same manner I did last night. This was so wrong, so inappropriate but neither of us pulled apart. At least not right away, but it just felt so right.

When we finally let go of each other, the awkwardness of the situation hit us both like a ton of bricks. He scurried to his seat and I shifted to the front of his desk, pulling at my t shirt for some form of support. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay." He half smiled. "This room is always welcome to any of my students." Students. I was his student. _God, can this situation get any worse? Why the fuck am I here?_

"I wasn't referring to that." I said quietly, mentally telling myself to shut up and leave the poor guy alone.

"What were you referring to?" He asked, coughing to show his embarrassment. This was dangerous territory and I didn't want to tread on it, but I couldn't go on pretending like last didn't happen. I needed to apologise to him.

"The kiss."

He looked up at me through one eye before looking down again. He didn't want to talk about it, and it was evident that he was not willing to have this conversation with me. "What about it?"

_Oh, so he did remember it._

"I was apologising." I paused. "I shouldn't have done it, and I'm very sorry." I was trying to read his expression but he wasn't even looking at me. I had outstayed my welcome and made my way towards the door.

"I kissed you back."

I stopped in my tracks, turning back round to face him, completely confused. "What?" I asked.

"I kissed you back." He repeated, looking at me softly. "This is as much my fault as it is yours." I smiled when he finished. He was blaming himself despite the fact I blatantly threw myself at him because I was upset.

"No, it's not." I told him. "But I appreciate the effort." I walked back towards the desk, unsure if he was signalling that he wanted to talk more, or if I should fuck off and never speak to him again.

We stared at each other for a moment before he sighed, leaning back in his seat. I didn't know if he was frustrated or if he was trying to relax himself. Either way, I was still uncomfortable.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, breaking the silence. He raised an eyebrow, confused by my question. "Do you want to forget it ever happened?"

He looked down at his desk, to which I assumed he was gathering his thoughts. As confusing as this was for me, it would be one hundred times worse for him. _God, I really am evil, aren't I?_

"What's the other option?" He asked.

My stomach fluttered. Was that a slightly flirty tone or was I losing my mind? He must know what the other option would be, given the fact it would be the opposite of the one I told him. Did he really want to remember the kiss?

"Something very, very dangerous." I said in a low voice. "Are you a risk taker, Eric?"

He groaned, looking up at me. I was terrified I was pushing him too far, completely ruining any chance of a normal teacher and student relationship. "Not usually." He muttered. What did that mean? That could mean 100 different things. My mind was spinning and I held onto the desk in fear of my knees caving in.

"I want-"

"But for both of our sakes, we should stick to the first option." He interrupted looking back down at the work in front of him. How did he do that? How did he go from seductive bad boy to responsible teacher within the space of 5 seconds? Did he have a split personality?

I nodded and stood back from the desk. "I'll be going then." He hummed quietly as I rushed towards the door. I needed to get out of there now before I threw him onto the desk, completely ignoring the last thing he said.

It was apparent now that the kiss we shared wasn't going to just disappear. In fact, the tension between us both was building more and more each time we seen each other and that could only lead to disaster.

**I don't own any characters apart from Lauren. This is a major filler chapter, and it pretty much sets up the rest of the story. Sorry it's a lot shorter than the past few. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The next few days seemed to fly by. I was always doing something, whether it be school having eye sex with Eric, arguing with Jenny or having meetings with Edward. Yes, meetings. That is what it left like when I spent time with Edward. It was like he was planning someone's assassination. He had everything down to the tiniest point. It was becoming so planned that I was terrified of doing something wrong to ruin it all.

After all of the preparation it was finally time to get the second step into action. Damon agreed to meet with me this afternoon for coffee seeing as we have decided to be friends. If I'm being honest, in the beginning he didn't sound very interested when I mentioned coffee. I guess day time activity isn't something he's interested in. But after minimal persuasion he agreed to meet with me. _I didn't think he'd be that easy._

I was sitting in the same cafe Edward and I were in this morning whilst discussing conversation techniques. I was half expecting Damon to be waiting, but it turns out I'm the early one in this friendship. Part of me was worrying that he was going to stand me up because he was too hungover, or too busy having sex with Katherine. And even if he was, I had no right to be mad at him.

I was preoccupied with my phone when I heard the chair in front of me scratch across the wooden floor. I looked up to find a pair of blue eyes staring down at me, matched with a smirk perfectly. I got butterflies just looking at him, how lame is that?

"Hey." I said, shyly. _Why did this feel like an awkward first date?_

"So how does this work?" He questioned, leaning back in his seat. I raised my eyebrow confused by what he meant. Did he not have coffee often? Or was he referring to something different?

"What do you mean?"

"I don't do coffee dates with friends." He admitted, smiling. He looked so sincere and innocent. It was taking all the power in me not to reach across and hold his hands. "Are we supposed to have stimulating conversation and talk about our sex lives?"

_Wow, he really doesn't do this often._

"It's not something you plan out." I responded. It couldn't be more ironic given the fact this whole date was planned out.

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly and let out a small giggle. I felt my heart putter just at the sound of it. "If you haven't noticed, I don't do this often." He said honestly. "I guess you could say, you're my first."

"I'll be gentle." I winked. This was dangerous, flirtatious territory and somehow we have managed to enter it within the first five minutes of our coffee date. I think that could be a world record. Fortunately, he didn't seem to mind as he laughed.

"I think I can handle it." He replied harshly. I didn't know if I had offended him, or irritated him by flirting so I chose to ignore it. Instead I plucked up the courage to start a light conversation about what his plans for the weekend were.

"I'm going on a camping trip." He replied whilst zipping on his coffee. "Edward's going. I'm surprised he didn't mention it."

_Yeah, so am I, _I thought. Why wouldn't Edward mention it to me? Surely it would change his plan that he had so neatly organised. If he knew that there was going to be a camping trip then why would he tell me to invite Damon to the movies this weekend?

"You can come if you want." He spoke, bringing me back to reality. "We are friends after all."

I could have sworn I saw him smirk at that last sentence. He found the idea of us being friends just as bizarre as I did, but he wasn't going to contemplate fighting it. It would probably be better if I had spoke to Edward before giving Damon an answer, but if he was going to keep secrets then I could bend the rules. "Can Jenny come?"

"You really want to invite my sister?" He growled.

_I needed a way to get back into her good books. _"Yes." I told him sternly. If I am being honest, I'd needed her there to stop me from jumping into his tent. I don't think Edward would be enough to help me control my...urges.

"Fine." He groaned. "But if she ruins my weekend, I blame you."

"I can live with that." I smiled, leaning back into my seat. I couldn't believe how easy the conversation was flowing between us. It was like we had been friends for years, and all the emotional angst had never happened.

"And we are sharing a tent."

"We are?" I questioned, trying to keep a straight face even though my insides were bubbling away. What was I supposed to say? Am I supposed to tell him I can't because that's not the rules? How did I go from step 2 to step 4 in the space of five minutes?

"Is there something wrong with that?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked. He knew exactly why I was questioning him but he wasn't going to let that show.

"No." I replied immediately, wanting to avoid an awkward situation. "I'm just curious as to why you would want to share a tent with me, over everyone else. Who else is coming?" I asked trying to change the topic of conversation.

He laughed a little and took a gulp from his cup before dropping it to the table. "Just a few friends. You've met them all before."

_Is the bitch skank coming? _"Is Katherine coming?" I asked, trying not to make my jealousy obvious because I'm sure that would definitely not give off the 'I just want to be friends with you' vibe.

"Yes." He answered. I was mentally stabbing the table. Of course she was coming. They were fuck buddies and he couldn't go a weekend without getting into her pants. "Does that bother you?"

_Yes. _"No, of course not." I laughed. "I was just wondering."

"Mhm." He hummed. He seen right through my reaction and I wanted to hit myself in the face for being so obvious. I didn't want to give him the upper hand. "I'll keep her away from you, if that's what you want."

Was he trying to be sweet? I think he was. I smiled at his knight in shining armour behaviour and shook my head lightly. "That's not necessary. I was honestly just wondering." I paused before spitting out the last sentence. "She's cool."

He giggled loudly, obviously shocked by my statement. I really wasn't doing a good job of making my lies realistic. I should just stop doing it all together to avoid any further embarrassment.

"Yeah, she's totally cool." He replied, mocking me. I kicked him in the shins causing the table to vibrate slightly as he jerked up in pain. "What was that for?"

"You were mocking me!" I exclaimed.

He laughed as he rubbed the bottom of his leg slightly to ease the pain. "I didn't know you were so violent."

"You have so much to learn, my friend."

When I arrived back at the dorm room, the same silence filled the air from this morning. To say me and Jenny hadn't been getting along was an understatement. She hated my game with Edward and she made it clear she wasn't going to talk to me until it was over. And even then she'd probably just scream 'I told you so' in my face.

I coughed loudly enough to make her aware of my presence but she didn't even budge. She was a much better actress than me and her show face was impeccable. I couldn't handle the awkward tension anymore and decided the best way to solve it was just to strike up a normal conversation.

"Are you busy this weekend?" I asked, rubbing my foot forcefully across the floor in frustration. I looked up in Jenny's direction when she turned round to face me with a curious expression.

"Why do you ask?" Great, I thought. She wasn't going to give me a simple answer. She was going to make me beg for it.

"Do you want to go camping?" I asked quietly hoping she wouldn't question who I was going with because that would probably cause more problems than it would end. I decided I was better off telling her myself. "Damon invited me."

She scoffed lightly, getting off her seat and making her way towards her bed. I could tell instantly what her answer was going to be. "Of course he did. I forgot you too were such great friends."

"I wanted you to go so you could see how this whole plan will work and I want you to understand my motives." I pleaded.

"I'll never understand." She growled and I felt completely defeated. I swallowed loudly trying to hold back the tears. I just wanted my friend back. And I didn't want to go through every day knowing that she hates me. "I already knew about the camping trip. Nate invited me. But now you are going, I think I'll skip it."

"Please, Jenny-"

"Don't." She snapped, lifting her book from her shelf, completely ignoring me. "Have a nice weekend, Lauren. I hope you can explain to everyone why I can't make it. I'm sure Damon would love to hear that story."

I let out a quiet sob and made my way towards my wardrobe, lifting out a large back pack as I packed it furiously with the essentials for the weekend. I was making so much noise that I didn't hear the door slam behind me signally that my roommate had left. I turned round to look at the door, collapsing on the floor as I leant against the pile of clothes.

I couldn't help but wonder was Damon worth all of this? I was losing my only true friend in New York and all for some stupid boy that can't admit his feelings. Why can't Jenny just support me like a normal person? Why does she always have to be right all the time and make me feel like a reckless kid?

I groaned, frustrated and trekked towards my bed, collapsing entirely on top of it. It was barely 8pm and I could already feel myself falling asleep out of exhaustion. Fighting with your best friend and scheming with another can do that to you it seems.

It was Friday afternoon before I knew it, class had finished and everyone was ready to head off for the weekend. I said an awkward goodbye to Jenny before making my way to the front of the building where a bunch of people I had met once or twice where waiting. I recognised Chuck, Serena, and Dan immediately. There was a dark haired girl stood amongst them and another blonde stood chatting to Nate.

I looked around and noticed Edward coming my way with a familiar smile on his face. I sighed; happy that there was someone here I was close to. I didn't want it to seem like I was intruding on their weekend plans.

"Well, look who decided to party crash." He smiled with his hands on his hips, looking very camp.

"I'm not crashing." I defended myself. "Damon invited me." I couldn't help but smirk at that last sentence, but it seems Edward didn't find it as charming. He groaned and slid his hands into his pockets.

"Did he?" He questioned. I nodded quickly and that just seemed to irritate him anymore. "I have to tell you, Lauren. I don't think you being here really follows the steps all so well. Maybe you shouldn't come."

Was he really trying to force me into leaving? It almost amused me that he thought I could be so easily pushed. "It probably doesn't, but speaking of the steps." I paused. "How come you told me to ask Damon out this weekend? You knew he'd be going camping."

"What?" His jaw tightened.

"Surely it wasn't some ploy so I could humiliate myself." I questioned. "Because it would really suck if you'd do that to me." My eyes were dark and I had an expression which was not to be messed with. I was not interested in being part of Edward's game, especially if it involved me getting hurt.

"I'm not!" He exclaimed, looking hurt that I'd excuse him of that. "I swear, I just forgot. I forgot about the camping trip. Then Damon told me you where coming-"

"He told you?" I asked, looking pleased. _He made a deal that I was coming. That's something, isn't it?_

"Yes, he did." He smiled. "And he was very happy about it, if I'm being honest." I grinned widely and shook my head. Edward was probably just being nice and trying to win me over after his strange behaviour.

"But what about the stages?" I questioned. I knew he would have something to say about it, after all.

"Look who turned up." I heard from behind me. I instantly swirled round with a smile on my face as I made my way towards Damon. It wasn't until he tugged at my arm when I noticed how harshly I had been gripping my bag. He lifted it off my shoulder and threw it over his as he walked towards the trunk of the van.

"I wouldn't miss this crazy time for the world." I joked, earning a laugh from him. "I have to ask, how do you expect everyone to fit into this van?"

Damon laughed lightly like the answer was completely obvious. He turned round and closed the proximity to us. I didn't realise how close we were until then. I backed away slightly which just caused him to laugh even more.

"We have two vans, silly." He smiled, closing the trunk loudly. "You will be joining me, Ed, Nate, Kat and Dan. Is that okay by you?"

_Take away Katherine, and yes. _"That's great." I smiled, trying to hide the jealously that was leaking out of my eyes. "Dan isn't really my cup of tea. He's a little smug, but I suppose I'll have to make do." I joked.

He laughed and threw his arm over my shoulder as he opened the door. "Luckily, no one is asking you to like Dan. Between you and me, I think he's a pompous asshole." I smiled as I slid into the car, to which he followed.

Our private moment was cut short when the rest of the boys sat in the front seats. Nate turned the engine on and let the music play over the background quietly. I almost forgot about her existence when Katherine opened the door beside Damon and sat beside him, flicking her hair over her shoulder.

She planted a wet kiss on his cheek which made my stomach turn. Especially because he really didn't seem to mind. It almost looked like he liked it. Katherine's eyes widened when she seen me sitting at the opposite side of the boy she just kissed. "Who invited you?" She asked loudly, making Edward look back with a worried expression.

I was going to defend myself when Damon stepped up. "Easy girl. I invited her." Katherine looked at him in disgust and opened her mouth to moan some more, but instead he closed his lips over hers. That shut her up.

"I'm not sharing a tent with her." She groaned when they finally pulled apart. I rolled my eyes and settled into my seat, looking out of the window.

"No one is asking you to." He grunted. "I'm sharing a tent with her."

"What?" Katherine basically shouted. Edward turned around again, looking at me in confusion. He expected me to give him an answer but I couldn't in front of everyone. And I didn't know what my answer would be.

"I promised." He told her, pushing her back into her seat. He lowered his mouth to her ear and quietly mumbled. "I'll make sure you get sex, babe." Unfortunately, he was loud enough for me to hear. I felt bile rise in my throat.

"Can you three shut up so we can actually get moving?" Dan groaned from the front. _Yeah, I definitely didn't like this guy._

I wanted to snarl back at him but someone beat me to it. "Fuck up, Humphrey or you'll be walking to the campsite." Damon snapped from beside me. He was a lot more like me than I had thought. The car moved into action then as the journey began to our location for the weekend.

The journey was less than a few hours, but it felt more like ten. Katherine did not stop moaning from the moment we took off. At first it was about the music, then the heat but then she started talking about sleeping arrangements and about how her hair will frizz in the rain. I half wanted to tell her to go home if she hated it so bad.

We each carried out bags and tents towards the camp. Well, most of us. Damon carried whatever Katherine threw at him as she stomped towards Dan who was leading us. I couldn't complain, the further away she was the better.

"Hey." I heard from beside me. I looked over to find Nate smiling down at me. I almost forgot he was here. I smiled back at him and responded the same way.

"No Jenny?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. Jenny was our only true connection, and although he was a really nice guy, he was aloof and not someone I could easily hold a conversation with.

He shook his head and frowned. It irritated me that she couldn't spend the weekend with him because of me. "She wouldn't tell me why." He groaned, scratching his neck. "She told me that you knew why."

I started building a sweat on my forehead in fear of where this conversation was going. What had Jenny told him? How was I going to explain myself and Jenny's actions to him? "She told me that she had a lot of work to do." I lied. "That's all."

He looked down at me, completely confused. "Really?"

I nodded and turned away, not wanting to make my lies obvious. I had a habit of doing that, especially with my bad acting skills. "Yes." I bit back. "What other reason would there be?" I asked, narrowing my eyes.

"She mentioned it was to do with Damon." He told me. I wanted to punch her just for mentioning his name when she didn't need to. It was like she loved to see me suffer. "And I know you two have...something."

_Something. That's an interesting word for it, _I thought.

"There is nothing to tell." I snapped, instantly regretting it. He didn't deserve to be snapped at. He was only questioning me because his girlfriend couldn't do it herself. "I promise. That is all there is to it."

He nodded and walked away from me towards Edward. I groaned in frustration dropping my bag to the floor. I bent down to pick it up, when a pair of hands did it for me. I looked up to find Damon with my bag over his shoulder. I smiled shyly and continued walking.

"That looked like an intense conversation." He joked. If only he knew, I thought. _It was about you. _"Nate isn't the kind for those."

"He was just asking about his sister." I told him, giving him a light affectionate shove.

"Speaking of the witch." He joked. I could have told him that that was exactly how she had been acting recently. "Why isn't she here? If I remember correctly, you basically forced me to invite her."

"I did not." I snapped. "She had school work." I had told that lie so much I was beginning to convince myself. For all I knew, maybe she did have a ton of school work to be doing. Maybe I wasn't actually lying. _Yeah, right._

He threw his hands up in defeat and dropped our luggage and the tent when we had reached everyone else. It was a large grassy area, with plenty of trees surrounding it. It was exactly how you'd expect it to look.

"If you are rooming with blondie then who am I sharing a tent with?" Katherine moaned to Damon. I didn't mind the nickname blondie, although I'm sure when it comes from her, it wasn't supposed to be friendly.

"Whoever you want." Damon asked turning his back to her as he made his way towards Edward.

I could feel Katherine's eyes burning into back and it was evident she was committing sins in her head. I turned to face her and graced her with a fake smile before walking past her. "Whatever you think you two have, it won't change anything." She half shouted, causing me to stop in my tracks.

"I don't expect it to." I moaned back. "I'm happy with being his friend. I don't need to spread my legs to earn anything from him."

"If you hadn't had spread your legs, you wouldn't be here today." She laughed. "You speak some shit Lauren. I can see right through you, and it won't take long for Damon to." She pushed past me making sure her shoulder brushed harshly against mine.

I watched Damon set up our tent and I couldn't help the thoughts that went through my mind when he bent over, causing his shirt to rise ever so slightly. It was insane what the tiniest thing could do to me. He had the strangest hold over me.

"We have some things to discuss." Edward spoke from behind me, bringing me back to reality. I turned to face him and tilted my head so he would continue. "You can't share a tent with Damon."

I nearly choked on my tongue. Why would he care? Wouldn't it help the plan continue? Sure we'd have to change the stages a little, but what difference would that make? "And why not?" I questioned him.

"It completely messes with the stages. If you share a tent with me, we can count this as stage 3." He bargained. I couldn't help but be curious as to why it would be him I would be sharing the tent with. I hope he wasn't suggesting what I think he was.

"That's not necessary." I laughed at his suggestion. "We can amend the arrangements."

Edward groaned and ran his hair roughly through his hair. I didn't understand why he was getting so defensive about it, or why he cared so much. All of it was sounding a bit strange to me. "It's not that easy."

"Why?" I questioned, moving towards him. "Why can't we just swap stages 3 and 4 then everything will be back on track?"

"Because I don't think you are ready to share a tent with him." He half shouted, then realised the others could probably hear us. I didn't know whether to be offended, because in all honesty, it was probably true. "He still has a hold over you. I can see it."

I sighed loudly and my eyes darkened considerably. "That won't change within a number of days, I can assure you that." _I don't think his hold will ever disappear._

I could tell how frustrated he was. He looked defeated, and he didn't want to fight with me anymore. "Fine." He breathed. "You can swap the stages. But if something happens between you two tonight-"

"It won't." I promised, even though I wasn't sure I could keep it. "I can control myself for a few days." At least, I hope I can. I was going to have to if I wanted this all to work out. Losing my friendship with Jenny was going to have to be worth something.

"I believe you." Edward smiled and nodded towards everyone else as we made our way towards the crowd as the sky slowly dimmed.

A few hours had passed and the group had settled into a rhythm. The music was playing loudly in the background, but not loud enough to distract everyone from each other, and the empty beer cans were slowly building up in a pile beside the campfire. _Yes, there was even a camp fire. _Chuck built it after his girlfriend, who I learnt was called Blair, complained about how cold it was. It turns out her and Katherine had that in common. It turns out they were also sharing a tent.

I was sat beside Damon, leaning against him as I practically inhaled the alcohol from the cup in my hand. I was too comfortable to be aware of the affect it was quickly having on me. Not to mention that Damon was tracing his fingers across the bare skin on my back as Katherine shot daggers to me from the opposite side of the fire.

"You might want to slow down there." I felt his hot breath on my ear. "We both know you can't handle your liquor."

I giggled and elbowed him lightly in the chest. I couldn't argue with him. Heck, I think everyone knew how true that statement was. I don't even know why I bother drinking, but with the company I was in now, it had to be done. Nate had gone to bed after a phone call from Jenny, and I don't have a clue what happened to Edward.

I snuggled closer to Damon when I felt a body at the other side of me. I turned my head to find Dan staring down whilst he sipped on his beer. He winked, and then turned away. For some reason, I felt the need to know if Damon seen it, and if he was jealous. I looked up at him to find him staring ahead, although his jaw was snapped tight into a straight line.

"I didn't know you two were dating." Dan stated.

My heart stopped and my grip tightened on my cup causing it to bend and the alcohol to overflow. I opened my mouth to respond and defend myself, but Damon decided he wanted to do that for me.

"That would bother you, wouldn't it Humphrey?" _Why didn't he tell him we weren't dating?_

I felt Dan's gaze jump from me to the blue eyed boy beside me. "What are you getting at?" He snapped. Oh God, I could feel the tension building and Damon's grip my waist was getting tighter. He clearly did not like to be argued with.

"I don't want to embarrass you, Dan." He smirked. "Let's just leave it."

I could tell Dan wasn't going to give up easy so I did the first thing my body told me to. I jumped up quickly and walked towards the tent. If they were going to argue like little boys then I most certainly didn't want to be a part of it. I can bet Katherine made some snarky comment about me being crazy.

Before I reached the tent, Edward appeared from behind a tree and stalked over towards me quickly. So that was where he had been spending the entire night. Behind a tree. He really did have a way with looking suspicious.

"Where the hell did you come from?" I questioned.

"I could ask you the same thing." He smiled. "You and Damon looked awfully comfy there. I can't see why you'd want to leave him for the tent."

I raised my eyebrow at his strange attitude. Maybe he was drunk. Now I think about it, I have never seen Edward drunk. For all I know it could turn him into some crazy, bisexual male stripper. _I hope it doesn't. _

"Is everything alright?" I asked.

He nodded and sauntered away towards the campfire. Suddenly sitting in my tent didn't seem so interesting, so I followed him quickly. "Why are you acting weird?"

He stopped so suddenly that I almost tumbled into him. He turned to face me and I glared up at him, desperate for an answer. I've never felt so uncomfortable in his presence. There is something extremely scary about the unknown. He moved closer to me until the proximity was so tiny it was basically non-existent.

"If I do something, do you promise not to be mad?" He asked, whilst his eyes stared deeply into mine.

I swallowed loudly, unsure of what was going on. "I guess." I mumbled, and a part of me was sure I was going to regret it. I need to stop making promises that I cannot keep, because it gets me in the worst situations.

But I could never have predicted what did happen. Before I knew it, Edwards's lips were on mine in a harsh embrace. He grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me closer; gaining complete control whilst I stood there completely shell shocked. I couldn't move and I couldn't think. _Why the fuck is he kissing me? Why is he kissing me in front of everyone? Doesn't he know the rules? The moment he removes his mouth from mine I'm going to kill him._

He let go quickly and before I even got to slap him he turned and jogged to the campfire whilst I still stood motionless. I thought Edward understood. I thought we had moved past this all. So why was he kissing me? I thought he wanted me to be with Damon. What if he seen?

Once I gained composure I made my way back over to the camp fire to find Damon staring at me which aggressive eyes. Yes, he most definitely had seen. He looked hurt, betrayed and angry. I didn't know if it was at me or at him because he knew that we were only friends. We didn't own each other; we could kiss whoever we want, right?

I stood in front of him, tilted my head and smiled. "Hi." I sighed. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't want to make assumptions and I didn't want to argue.

He didn't do anything but nod, brush past me and sit beside a very drunk Katherine. I glared at her as she smirked at me. She really was an arrogant bitch. She loved it when Damon chose her over me. I could feel the anger bubbling up in my stomach and I couldn't hold it in.

"What are you smirking at?" I snapped at her, instantly regretting it the moment I said it.

Her mouth fell open slightly, obviously surprised that I would dare speak to her that way. _I could say a lot worse if she wanted. _"Nothing." She lied. "I just love when I get my way."

"How exactly did you get your way?" If she wanted to get a rise out of me than she could have it. I wasn't going to back down from her, if it was the last thing I did. I walked towards her until I was standing over her and Damon.

"You know how."

"I don't. Please elaborate." I snapped, putting my hands on my hips. She might as well come out and say it. What did she have to lose? The smirk hadn't left her face the entire time. I could feel Damon's eyes burning into me but I ignored it. Unfortunately, Katherine noticed it too, so she grabbed him by the chin and closed her mouth over his.

For the second time in the night, I was shell shocked. I didn't expect her to be so forward, and I most certainly didn't expect him to return the gesture. But his hands were in her brown locks, tugging her closer just like Edward did to me mere minutes ago. I turned instantly and walked back to my seat from earlier this evening.

How did my night go from being a relaxing alcohol induced evening to a highly stressful emotional nightmare? Why did Damon care that I kissed Edward? Was it for the same reason I was annoyed that he was kissing Katherine? He made it clear he didn't want me; this was what the damn friendship was for.

I was wallowing in self pity, knocking back as much alcohol as I could possibly take. Which wasn't much considering I was about to collapse on the ground. I heard a deep cough from beside me and I snapped my head round quickly to find Dan staring down at me. He smiled lightly and I turned away. I wasn't in the mood for his pompous rants.

"So you aren't dating Damon." He stated it like it was a fact. I suppose it was.

"No," I started. "I'm not." I thought it would be fairly obvious considering the groping session going on from across the campfire. Unless he thought we were having some odd open relationship, or a threesome.

"Good." He said simply. I wanted to argue with him, and ask how in the world was this good. But all my energy had been worn down so all I could do was let out a small laugh. Not because it was funny, but because I was frustrated. "You're better than him, y'know."

What was that supposed to mean? Better how? "You don't even know me." I told him. It was true, we have had like two conversations and he's making assumptions about who is better than who. Surely that wasn't fair.

"I know enough." _You think you know everything. Arrogant dickhead. _"I know that you like him, but he's not willing to have a relationship."

"Anyone could know that." I argued. It wasn't like my feelings for Damon weren't half obvious. I did no attempt to hide or conceal it. "You don't have to know me to know that." I told him.

He nodded lightly and took another sip from his bottle. Now I think about it, he is a lot more attractive when he isn't talking. But maybe that's just the alcohol making me feel that way. "Doesn't it bother you?" And the attractiveness is gone. "That he can fuck whoever he wants and you aren't even allowed to kiss anyone."

"I can kiss people." I snapped back, defensively. Even though I knew he was right. He raised his eyebrow questioning me. "I can kiss whoever I want."

"Really?" He asked and I nodded. He looked like he was contemplating something and the smirk on his face grew slightly. Yes, he was most definitely contemplating something. "Then kiss me."

"What?" _Ew, no, gross. _

He laughed, clearly understanding that I was disgusted by his request. How could I not be? The guy repulsed me. Just because he has a nice jaw line and really soft hair doesn't mean I want to kiss him.

"Why not?" He asked. If only I could tell him why without sounding like a bitch. He leant forward until his mouth was hovering at my ear. "It'll piss Damon off."

"I don't want to piss him off." I lied. "He's my friend."

Dan scanned my face for a moment before sitting back in defeat. Why did he even want to do it? How would it benefit him in any way shape or form? Wouldn't it just cause problems for him? "If he is truly your friend then both of you shouldn't be getting annoyed when you kiss someone. You're lying to each other."

I hated that he was acting as if he knew everything about the situation, because he didn't. There was more to it than simply us lying to each other. Did he ever think about why we had to guard our feelings, or why Damon was incapable of opening up? It's not some stupid fucking game that we're playing so one of us can win. _I just want Damon._

I stood up with my hands tightened into fists, absolutely furious. "Fine!" I exclaimed. "If you want to fucking kiss, then let's kiss." I half shouted as I threw my leg over him and straddled his waist. I shot my mouth down to his before he could protest, but it didn't seem like he would because his hands were in my hair instantly.

I kissed him so frantically that I couldn't feel anything at all. There was no sparks, no desire and it felt like kissing a solid wall. But I didn't stop. I wanted to prove a point. Damon didn't control me and I could kiss whoever I want. I massaged his lips so harshly that it wouldn't surprise me if I drew blood. Dan didn't seem to mind as he moaned loudly into my mouth and gripped my back side. _This was getting a little too handsy._

I was about to push myself off him when I felt someone pulling at the back of my t shirt roughly until I was on my feet. I heard Dan groan in anger at whoever had ruined our make out session. I turned round quickly, almost losing my balance to find Damon looking down at me like I was about to be punished.

"Damon-" I started.

He didn't let me finish, he just grabbed me by the arm and we stalked our way towards the tent. He didn't speak to me or even ask why I was kissing him. We were in total silence and I just trailed along behind him because it felt like what I was supposed to do.

When we reached the tent we both made our way inside. I zipped it up behind us, wanting some privacy and turned to face the man in front of me. He ran his hands through his hair looking completely frustrated. I desperately wanted to walk over and comfort him.

My mouth fell open when he started removing his clothes. Was he trying to seduce me? Or was he just going to demand I have sex with him because I needed to be punished? I didn't know what to do so just reverted my gaze to the surroundings, not wanting to stare at his body. Before I knew it, Damon was climbing into the bed and closing his eyes to go to sleep.

"Aren't you coming to bed?" He asked with a deep voice. _It depends what we are going to do in bed. _

"I'm not tired." I lied, I was completely exhausted.

"We don't have to sleep." He responded. Oh, so he did want to do that. My mouth went dry and I turned away embarrassed. What was I suppose to say to that? He was basically offering me sex on a plate. "I meant, we could talk." He laughed.

_That makes more sense. _I nodded and started removing my clothes, replacing them with my pyjama bottoms before climbing under the covers beside him. He closed the distance between us and pulled me closer so I was resting my head against his naked chest. _There goes the no touching rule. _

He removed the hair that was covering my ear and planted a kiss just below it. This wasn't friendly, and it wasn't our usually sexual behaviour. It was nice, and loving. And exactly what I want from him. I did my best not to grin like an idiot but given the circumstances, it was hard.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

_What could he possibly be sorry for? _I turned round to face him, our faces only inches apart. I could feel his breath on my face and I desperately wanted to kiss him. "For what?" I asked, brushing his hair from his forehead.

"For being so rude to you that you felt you had to kiss Humphrey." He smiled. "That must have been painful."

I laughed at his arrogance. "I only did it to shut him up." I told him. "He wouldn't stop talking about how unfair it is that you can kiss people but I can't. I suppose he is right though."

"He is." He sighed. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to stop being jealous every time you kiss someone who isn't me." His honesty pained my heart and it killed me knowing that if I had to follow the rules I couldn't just skip the next stage. I wanted to get him to open up and right now felt like the best opportunity.

"I can't kiss you." I reminded him.

He frowned and lowered his head. This was upsetting him, maybe just as much as it was upsetting me. Why was it upsetting him so much if he wants nothing more than sex? I don't understand any of it if I am being honest. "I know."

"But-" I started, wanting him to finish it for me.

"I can't not kiss you." He replied before lifting his head until his gaze was directly in line with mine. I could feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest and I couldn't control my actions. I couldn't not kiss him either, and I would rather fail the stupid test Edward set me than not be with him right now.

I closed the gap between us slowly, giving Damon a chance to pull away but he didn't. I was soft with my touch, allowing us both to go gently, not wanting to rush any of it. Even if it was just tonight, I want it to be perfect. I massaged my lips with his as his hand moved to the back of my neck to give us a better angle. It wasn't forced or harsh like it usually is. It was comforting and sweet. I let out a deep groan into his mouth and he pulled apart from me quickly.

I wanted to punch myself for ruining it all. Why couldn't I just keep my moans of satisfaction in until I was sure of where the kiss was going? I went to turn back round, completely embarrassed when Damon held onto me, pulling me close until my head rested on his chest again.

"You'll regret it in the morning." He said, and I could feel the pain in his voice. "I'm happy just to lay here with you."

I couldn't hold it in anymore, and a single tear fell down my left cheek. It was so insignificant that I don't think he noticed, but it was there, showing how much it truly meant to me that he was acting like this. It was more than I could have ever wanted, but I was never going to have it. Not completely.

I sighed and closed my eyes, holding onto the bare body next to me. I fell asleep in the same bed as Damon without having sex for the first time that night, and I prayed that it wasn't the last time to come.

**Long time no see. I could tell you how busy I've been but it'd just bore you. But here it is, I've had half of this sitting for ages and I just finished it. I don't know anyone but Lauren. Sorry for the wait.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

It seemed as though I had only passed out mere minutes ago, but before I knew it I could feel the sun splitting through the zipper of the tent, urging me to arise from my sleep. I stirred lightly, completely unaware of my surroundings. I shimmed my hips backwards lightly and when I heard a groan of approval, reality suddenly hit me.

I was in bed with Damon. And we didn't have sex. We cuddled. Oh God. He had his arm around my waist, clinging to me lazily and I didn't move in fear of waking him up. _Or hearing one of those groans again. _I contemplated the options in my head. I could either lie here and wait until he wakes up, earning an awkward morning conversation. Or I could make a break for it now hoping he isn't a light sleeper.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, for me I didn't have to make that decision for me. Damon grunted loudly signally that he was awake. I didn't move, or even let out a breath. It was proving difficult and I thought I was going to die of lack of oxygen. His arm was removed from my waist and he started tracing my hip gently as he leant down to press a kiss to my shoulder. I almost yelped in approval.

"Good morning." He mumbled in a deep voice. It almost sounded as though he had been gargling nails. And how did he even know that I was awake? I thought I had done a good job of being subtle.

"Hi." I breathed, rolling round so we were facing each other. "Sleep well?" I don't know why I asked that, or even what it was supposed to imply but Damon let out a small laugh and planted another kiss on my shoulder. Only now we were in a different position, meaning his face lingered too closely every time he did it.

"Wonderful." He smiled, collapsing back onto his side of the bed. "I have to tell you, Lauren. I didn't know cuddles could be so much fun." I laughed and sat up so I could stare down at him. "Maybe you're changing me."

There was a hint of sincerity in his voice and it made my heart jump in appreciation. I tried not to think too much about it so I threw the blanket off me and stretched just before I stood up. I couldn't help but grin knowing Damon was watching every minute of it.

"Would that be such a bad thing?" I questioned, not daring to look at him whilst I picked through my bag looking for my toothbrush.

There was a moment of pause and for a second I didn't think he was going to reply. I thought I had pushed his friendly behaviour too far. "For me, yes." He said honestly, and I didn't expect anything less.

I turned to face him, placing my hands on my hip, balancing my toothbrush between my fingers. "What is so special about you?"

It could have sounded rude but it wasn't supposed to. And I didn't care. I wanted to know why he thought that everything was different for him. Like he was always destined to be this bad guy who fucks endless amounts of women. I don't know if it comes down to childhood, or if it's a confidence problem. _It's not the confidence, he's got more ego than Simon Cowell. _

"That's just it," he started. "I'm not special. I don't change because I am the way I'm supposed to be."

_What the fuck is that supposed to mean? _"You think we are all designed to be a certain way?" I asked and he nodded. I had about fifty arguments to respond to that with but I decided not to. I didn't want to fight with him, especially when he was being so nice. For a change.

"Either way," I sighed. "I'm not changing you. It's all your doing."

He stared at me blankly and he looked lost for words. I thought my questioning had pissed him off. I could feel the tension building and it was like a clock was ticking furiously in my head. I was going to fill the silence when he decided to speak up. "Let's get out of here."

"Wha-what?" I stuttered.

"This camping trip is a load of shit." He moaned, standing up allowing me to notice the hardened bulge underneath his boxers. I had to tear my eyes away from it, not wanting to be noticed. "Why don't we just skip it before everyone wakes up?"

"And what would be our excuse for our sudden departure?" I couldn't believe he was actually suggesting this, and it just came out of bloody nowhere.

He narrowed his eyes, aware that I was going to fight him about this. "Do we fucking need one?" I shook my head in response. He can be very intimidating and sexy when he swears. It's like he is ordering dominance. "I'll tell Edward if it puts your mind at rest."

"Okay." I said breathlessly as he started throwing clothes on, signally me to do the same. "Can I ask what brought this on?"

He looked at me for a moment before replying, obviously trying to figure out if he should be honest or not. "Because I cannot stay in this tent another second with you and not pin you to the floor."

_Oh. _That was blunt. I swallowed loudly, nodding as I continued to dress. What the hell was I supposed to respond to that? Especially considering I have been thinking about doing the same thing to him over the past 24 hours.

"Where are we going to go?" I asked, swallowing my crude thoughts.

"Home." He stated. That could mean a thousand things but I didn't question him. I tugged my shirt over my head, looking round and signalling Damon to turn away. Which he did with a smirk on his face. I changed quickly and coughed signally that I was ready.

He unzipped the tent and took my hand to lead me out. "Are we going to just highjack a car?" I asked. "Won't they need it?" He laughed as we made our way to where it was parked. He opened the trunk and placed our belongings in before opening the front door and nodding for me to enter.

"Can you maybe drop me by my dorm room?" I asked. "We can meet later, if you want."

I nervously looked out the window, unsure of what we were. Last night changed things, even if he didn't want to admit it. But he could no longer deny his feelings. All I had to do was make him face up to them now.

"Sure." He smiled and we set off on the journey back home.

I don't know why I was so eager to get home and speak to Jenny, but I found myself running up the stairs after leaving a quick peck to Damon's cheek. After the talk with Nate, I wanted to confront her, and ask her why this all was really bothering her. Why couldn't she forgive me? It's not like Damon and her are that close.

_And if anyone is going to end up hurt, it will be me._

I pushed the door open and dropped my bags. "You home?" I called out. I heard her murmur from the bathroom but I didn't understand a word of what she said. I sat on the edge of my bed and lay back.

"What are you doing here?" She questioned, wearing only a towel. She really had no shame. She looked just as furious as she was when I left with her hand set firmly on her hip, and the scowl on her face tightening.

"I came home early." I told her. "I got bored."

She rolled her eyes and walked back to the bath room. I followed her, desperate to sort out what bothering us. I closed the door behind me and she turned round, grunting in frustration.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"That depends." She said. "Are you going to tell me you've changed your mind about the little game you're playing?"

"Sort've." I replied, earning her to raise her eyebrows. I sighed and rest against the edge of the bath. She shuffled awkwardly to the sink, ignoring my presence. "You were right about this being stupid. But I thought, as my friend, you'd respect my choice."

She laughed out loud and I could feel her gaze on me through the mirror. "Damon is my step brother. Sorry that I can't respect you fucking with my family." She slammed her toothbrush down on the sink and I jumped in surprise. "You shouldn't be messing with people's feelings like that."

"Why do you care so much?" I half shouted.

"I guess it hits close to home." She yelled. _Oh, well that changes things. _"It doesn't matter. Lauren, all I've done is try to help you with your feelings for Damon. But you keep throwing it back in my face. I can't help you if you won't help yourself."

"I'm sorry." I said, honestly. She was right. And she deserved a much better friend than me. I didn't think about how difficult this would be for her. "Truly. I agree with you. I'm an idiot." I groaned rubbing my forehead.

"That is something we can see eye to eye on." She half smiled. It wasn't anything spectacular, but it was getting somewhere. Considering all we have communicated with was grunts and groans. "Have you stopped then? The games."

"I want to. They all sort've went to shit when me and Damon shared a tent."

She raised an eyebrow and gave me a suggestive wink. I knew exactly what she was getting at. Was I really that easy to read? Me and Damon in a tent together, automatically equals sex.

"It's not what you think." I assured her. "We just...cuddled."

She dropped her toothbrush with so much force I almost fell backwards into the bathtub. "You what?" She exclaimed, completely shell-shocked by the information i just gave her. You'd think I told her I bumped into George Clooney in Starbucks. "You only cuddled? Damon...cuddled you?"

I nodded and she burst out into a fit of giggles. I'm glad she finds my sexual frustration amusing because I sure as hell don't. Cuddling with Damon is like cuddling with a giant penis. Wait...never mind.

"Damon doesn't cuddle. Ever." She smiled and turned back to the mirror. "You did it. You fucking did it."

"Did what?" I asked, confused. Sometimes I think she forgets to speak in full sentences, and only fills out the parts she's missed in her head. I might make sense for her, but it leaves me with a huge headache.

She titled her head as if I was missing out on the obvious. "Your plan worked. Him cuddling you is him admitting his feelings. It won't be long until he lets you kiss his cheek and hold his hand."

My eyed widened at her statement. "Um..."

"He has already, hasn't he?" She asked, grinning and I nodded. "Tell me, do you have plans for the evening?"

"Damon is taking me out." I said, scared of what her response would be. She seems to know her brother a lot more than I thought. It's like she controls his mind. Fucking creepy if you ask me. "Should I be expecting something?"

"No. Never expect something from Damon." She told me. "Expect the unexpected. I hate to admit it, but maybe you were right. Maybe your twisted plan worked after all."

"Maybe." I mumbled. "Does this mean we are friends again?"

She dropped her toothbrush for about the hundredth time. I made a note to myself to tell her to stop being so clumsy with her toiletries. She walked over to me and surprised me as she threw his hands round me and pulled me into a hug.

"We were always friends." She whispered into my neck and I smiled embracing the friendly, lesbian like behaviour.

It was running round the dorm room, looking for a pair of shoes when I heard my phone ring. _Fuck balls, _I thought. I was going to be late for my first evening date with Damon and the last thing I wanted to do was keep him waiting.

"Damon's on the phone." Jenny yelled from the bedroom.

I grabbed the black stilettos from beside the sink and shimmied into them. "Tell him I'll be down in a minute." I brushed my hair and gave myself one glance in the mirror. I didn't have a problem with coming across too forward, so I settled for a little black dress, that didn't leave much to the imagination. Oh hey, you only live once.

I exited the bathroom, gave Jenny a quick kiss on her forehead, grabbed my back and practically ran down three flights of stairs. It probably wasn't safe, but at least this way I could skip the gym tomorrow.

By the time I reached the front of the building I felt like my insides were going to come out by mouth. I composed myself when I seen Damon leaning against the wall, his upper half clad in leather. He looked like a 70's rock star. All he needed was the shades and a cigarette. I put the dirty thoughts to the back of my head and walked towards him.

"Hey, sexy. The 70's called, they want their jacket back." I smirked.

He turned round, looking completely confused. He looked like someone had damaged his ego. Clearly he was fond of this jacket, and so was I. He smiled when he seen it was me and stood up after lounging against the wall. "I thought you liked this jacket."

"I prefer when it's on the floor if I'm honest." _Oh God, did I really just say that?_

He smirked and it was only when he stood in front of me did I really how much he towered over me. And I'm wearing my fucking heels. His gaze was like fire and I could feel the sweat prickling the back of my neck. "I could say the same about your outfit, but I'm not sure that belt your wearing counts as an outfit."

I playfully shoved him and he held out his hand, to which I took in mine. It was weird that this all felt like second hand nature, and it was even weirder that it was Damon of all people who was doing it all.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I felt Damon's mouth hovering above my ear. "No, honestly. You look gorgeous." I felt my insides tingle and I squeezed his hand in appreciation, not knowing what to say.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"I'd love to say I have this big elaborate evening planned, but I don't." He told me. "I'm not good with this kind of thing."

I stroked my thumb over his hand, not wanting to get into the conversation of why Damon sucks at relationships. Not when everything has been going so well. "I don't want some big thing Damon. It's too cliché for my liking."

He smiled down, humouring me. _Who am I to kid? Every girl wants some special date in New York City. _"My friend knows this bar in Brooklyn. I just thought we'd hang out and talk. If that's alright."

"Your company is enough." I realised how cheesy it sounded the moment it left my mouth. "Lead the way."

We jumped into a cab and made our way to the bar. I couldn't help but grin every time Damon places his hand on my thigh. It wasn't seductive or tempting, it was sweet and it made my heart swell more each time.

The cab pulled up in what felt like moments and my hand was in Damon's as soon as we stepped out. We walked into the smoky bar and sat by a booth in the corner. A hairy faced guy was singing country music and a group of older people were singing along. There were a group of girls, out on a bachelorette night, drinking shots; one of them was lying on the floor as her friend tried to pick her up.

I didn't even notice that Damon had stepped away to go to the bar, but he returned quickly caring his beer in one hand and my Southern Comfort in the other. _He knows me too well_, I thought.

"This is a nice place." I told him, sipping on my drink. "How do you know about it?"

He slid in beside me; our thighs were so close I was practically sitting on top of him. He rested his arm behind me as we communicated over the live music. "I come here when I'm not stalking you."

I laughed, and relaxed into him. "Did you call anyone from the camp about the car?" I asked. It had been plaguing my thoughts all day. I felt terrible for abandoning everyone, especially Edward. Despite his strange habits of kissing me out of nowhere.

"Edward rang me earlier and gave me a mouthful." He said after taking a gulp from his beer, before setting it back down. "He was more concerned about you."

"Me?" I asked, swallowing quickly with nerves. The last thing I needed was Edward coming between me and Damon. I didn't know if I could trust his instincts, especially when he is hovering behind trees. "Why?"

"He said I shouldn't kidnap you. That I was being an asshole to you." I could see the fury in his eyes and I could tell there was more to the conversation than he was letting on. "He still likes you."

_Oh God. _"No, he doesn't." I laughed. "We're friends."

Damon narrowed his eyes, looking down at me. "Like us?" I turned away, embarrassed. I hadn't thought about that. "Maybe you feel that way, but he never has."

I sighed, frustrated. "It doesn't matter if he does. I don't like him." I admitted. "I never have. He knows that." I didn't want to ruin our night by talking about Edward. I wanted to talk about how sexy he looked, and how nice it was to cuddle him.

"Hmm." Damon said, taking another sip.

"But like you said, we're just friends. So it shouldn't matter." I rolled my eyed before inhaling my drink. _I drink fast when I'm angry, okay?_

Damon let out a sigh of frustration before turning to look at me. "That's the point, Lauren. We're not just friends." He took my hands in his. "I thought you would have gathered that by how I've been treating you."

"I noticed." I stammered because I didn't have the strength to get anything out. You try speaking coherently when Damon admits he is more than just your friend. It takes a lot of determination not to straddle him.

He plucked the hair that had been covering my eyes and brushed it behind my ear. His gaze was like fire and ice on my skin all at once. I had the feeling of being over heated and stuck in a freezer at the same time. "I don't want to lose you to Edward. He doesn't deserve you." He whispered.

"And you do?"

"No." He said before capturing my lips softly with his. He was a sweet touch, not forceful or overwhelming at all. He pulled away before I could respond, the only thing I could do was let out a deep breath. "But I'm selfish like that."

I smiled at his honesty. "You're very lucky it's endearing." I told him. "Otherwise I'd think you were an arrogant asshole."

"You've told me I was before." He laughed. "Those exact words, I believe." My mind flickered to the memory. I had called him far worse than an asshole, but he was right. I didn't find his attitude endearing not so long ago.

"Things change." I said. "You've changed."

He was staring at me and he closed his eyes, obviously consumed in his thoughts. "I'll fuck this up." He told me. "I'll do something bad. I'll cheat on you, or change my mind and I'll hurt you."

"I don't believe you'd do any of that." _At least, I hoped not._

"Not intentionally, but it could happen." He said. I frowned at his lack of belief in himself. No wonder it has taken us so long to get to this point. I've never met a guy who is so insecure about relationships.

I stroked his cheek and gave him a quick kiss. My heart fluttered when he smiled and let out a breath. "If we all worried about what could happen we'd never leave the house." _It was true. _"I mean, we could get hit by a cap on the way home."

He chuckled and swung his head back in laughter. _Oh God, that laugh is like music to my ears. I could pocket it and make thousands. _"That's a lovely thought." He said. "But true, I suppose."

"Can you please stop focusing on the bad and try focusing on how fucking epic we could be together?" I asked. "We both already know how fun the sex is."

He smirked and tilted his head. "It's a lot more then fun." He said stroking my thigh, as his hand edged up and under my dress. _Dangerous territory, _I thought. He grazed the waistline of my panties when I stopped his movements. He pulled back with a giggle.

"You get my point." I said.

"I do." He smiled. "You can be very persuasive, you know." He kissed just below my ear and I closed my eyes in appreciation. It felt more than good. It felt _right. _"You are going to have to be easy with me. It's my first time in a while."

I laughed and stroked his thigh, teasing him as he did me. "I'll be gentle."

He nibbled my ear and the suddenly came to a halt. I widened my eyes in disappointment. He shouldn't be able to stop without my permission. I pulled at his hand to get him back to where he was before. "I'm just getting us refills; I'll be back in a minute."

I nodded and watched as he walked towards the bar. I relaxed back into my seat when my phone buzzed into my pocket. _This better not be Jenny, _I thought. I pulled it out and my eyes widened in shock when Edward's name flashed across the screen.

This cannot be good. In fact, this is the opposite of good. Didn't Damon just tell me of how Edward was yelling at him down the phone earlier? What could Edward possibly want to talk to me about? I was following the rules; this was a night time date. No shame in making it more than friendly.

I walked towards the exit, phone clutched in my hand as it buzzed loudly. I paused before answering it, nerves rushing over me.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Lauren!" He yelled. "You answered! I didn't think you would." He was drunk, or at least on his way to being drunk. I could hear the music playing over him in the background. They must have still been camping.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, trying not to be obvious that I knew why he was calling me.

It was suddenly a lot quieter than it was moments ago, signally that Edward had made his way into the privacy of his own tent. "I thought you'd be out with Damon, seeing as you two ran off together today.

"I am." I told him, honestly. There is no point lying to a drunk before. They'll only ask more questions. "Look, I'm sorry about-"

"It's okay, Damon told me he pressured you into it. Doesn't surprise me. He always finds a way of getting what he wants." He said in a bitter tone. If you didn't know him, it certainly didn't sound like he was talking about his friend. "And what he wants now is you so...he got you."

"He didn't get me." I defended myself. It's not like now we are sort've dating he owns me. Clearly the concept of feminism hasn't crossed Edward's mind.

There was a pause before he chirped up again. "So you aren't with him now?" He asked.

"I am, but-" He laughed and I wanted to punch him through the phone. He was being so ignorant that I wanted to run back to the camp just to strangle him. "I don't know why you care. You know my plan was to end up with him. I got what I want, didn't I?"

"I thought you wanted to be the one in control." He said. "But Damon chose this, not you. That is why you should have followed the steps." I wasn't completely sure but I think I heard him mutter idiot under his breath.

I muttered indecent words under my breath, tempted to throw my phone into the middle of the street. "What are you calling me for, Edward?" I asked. "Unless it's to make me feel like shit."

"I wanted to talk." _Well, that's very fucking vague, isn't it?_

I sighed. This is why I don't deal with drunken people. They are cryptic and never get to the point. "About what?" I asked.

"About our kiss." He said and I felt my head spin. Of course that was what he wanted to talk about. He wanted to know how I felt about it, or at least explain why he did it. I was hoping for the second one.

"I don't think it counts as a kiss if only one person participates." I told him, regretting it instantly after hearing how harsh it sounded. "What about it?"

For a moment I thought he wasn't going to say anything because the silence was becoming deafening. "I suppose you want to know why I did it." He asked. I nodded, but then realized he can't hear me so I mumbled 'yes'.

"I like you, Lauren." He told me. _Oh no. _"I had hoped that if I kissed you, you would realise why I'm doing it all."

"Doing what all?" I asked confused.

"Never mind." He half shouted, causing me to jump a little. "I never stopped liking you. You never even realised and it's really fucking shit. Like, really shit. You are too busy being in love with Damon."

"I'm not in lo-"

"And the worst part is that he feels the same." He said. "Damon is supposed to be the heartless one yet he has fallen for you. That was never the fucking plan. It was never supposed to happen like this."

"Plan? What are you talking about, Edward? Slow down." I begged him. There is nothing worse than having to deal with a drunken person over the phone.

"Stop asking questions and just listen for God's sake." Edward yelled. "Why can't you ever listen? You don't listen to me, you don't listen to Jenny and it wouldn't surprise me if you ignore your own fucking thoughts."

_Ouch. _Nothing like getting called out on one of your biggest insecurities.

"I'm listening." I said quietly.

There was a silence again and I could have sworn I heard Edward let out a sob. My heart tightened and I felt my eyes water. "Did you ever even like me, Lauren? Like, did you like me at all? Or was it always him?"

_No, it was always him. I'm sorry. _"Yes, I did. I liked you."

"Then why do you want him? What changed your mind?" He asked me, his voice evidently breaking. I wanted nothing more than to hug him. This is why I hate fucking telephone calls. You can't call this real communication.

"I just...I liked him to. Nothing changed. He just-"

"You just like him more."

"Can you stop interrupting me please?" I asked, frustrated. How did he ever want me to explain if he never let me finish my sentences? "My feelings for him are different to how I feel about you. The pull is...stronger. I'm sorry that it didn't work out between us but you can't hate me for it. That's not fair."

And then I was sure he was crying. I sat in silence as I listened to him sob. And sob. And sob. I bit on my tongue to stop the tears and widened my eyes to prevent them building. "Damon and I are coming to terms with our relationship. We want to try and see if it will work. And it'd mean the world to me if we had your blessing."

"I don't know what to say." He said in a deep voice. "I mean-"

"It's okay. Just. Just go to sleep and we'll talk tomorrow when you are back home, okay?" I asked. "This isn't the type of conversation we should be having over the phone when you're intoxicated."

"I'm not drunk." He argued.

"Goodnight, Edward." I said and hung up the phone.

I walked back into the bar and basically collided into the Damon when I reached the door. "Where have you been?" He asked. "I've been looking everywhere." I took a mental note to find that cute later, right now my mind was too fucked up with Edward.

"Sorry, I was on the phone." I told him. "Do you want to get out of here?" Damon smirked at my suggestive tone and grabbed my hand pulling my through the door towards a cab that was ironically waiting for us.

We fell through the door, pulling at each other's clothes, stumbling as though we were drunk after one drink. I kicked my shoes off at the door, dropping my bag beside them, much like I did the first night we spent together. I pushed Damon's leather jacket of his shoulders and let out a giggle.

"What?" He asked into my neck as he smothered me with kisses.

"I was right." I told him, clinging onto his shirt, desperate to get some skin on skin action. I could feel the heat radiating off him, or maybe it was coming off me. "Your jacket does look much better on the floor."

He laughed and gripped my thighs so I could wrap my legs around his waist as he carried me to his bedroom. My dress was now round my hips and my panties were falling slowly down my thighs. We slammed into his door and he groaned. I'm not sure whether it was in pain or pleasure. Maybe it was both.

I shimmied off his hips, feeling his arousal as I did so. I pulled my dress off me quickly and watched as Damon fumbled with his belt in a hurry. I laughed and walked towards his bed, lying down on it and I watched him in amusement.

"Hurry up before I get bored." I teased.

He pushed his trousers and boxers off his hips in one go. My mouth fell open in surprise. I didn't expect him to be that forward, especially as I was still covered by my underwear. "Don't stare, Lauren. It's rude."

"Shut up." I groaned as he climbed on top of me, his length tickling my thigh. I reached down and grabbed him, stroking him quickly. I smiled as he mumbled incoherent words into my mouth. He reached one hand round my back and unclipped my bra throwing it onto the floor. His mouth latched onto my nipple and I moaned out in appreciation.

I let go off him and pulled my panties off so we were both bare in front of each other. He kissed down my stomach, licking and sucking at my sensitive points. He travelled lower, manovering himself between my legs, nibbling my thigh. I pulled at his hair, desperate for him to stop teasing.

I nearly doubled over in pleasure when he licked between my folds and closed his mouth over my clit. I pulled at his hair and he laughed into me, causing my jolts to pulse through my body.

"More." I stammered.

Not wanting to prolong anything I screamed out when he thrust two fingers into me, pumping them at a vigorous speed. He licked, sucked and pushed harder each time and I wrapped my legs around his neck, pulling him closer. I felt my insides bubble and the sweat was dripping down my forehead.

I thought I was going to explode and he brushed his thumb over my bud when I climaxed into oblivion. I panted heavily trying to catch my breath. Damon's lips were on mine instantly and I could taste everything.

"I need you now." Damon groaned. "It's been too long."

I nodded and watched as he guided himself towards my entrance. He slid into me with such speed that I swore words that my mother wouldn't approve. I gripped onto his backside and held onto him as he thrust faster that I knew possible. My legs were round his waist and I was rolling my hips up to meet him.

He sat up, resting one hand on the bed, giving him a better angle as the other rubbed at my breast, thumbing my nipples before covering them with his mouth again. I sighed his name and that only spurred him on. He pushed himself up on both hands, pushing his hips into mine, slamming our skin together with deep friction.

"I...oh God...I-"

He captured my mouth with his, our tongues fighting in a battle of dominance which he was clearly winning. I wanted to tell him how close I was but he clearly already knew. He balanced on one hand, allowing the other to drift south so he could rub my clit in circles. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I screamed out as I climaxed, not even realising that he followed straight after me.

He collapsed on top off me, careful not to smother me with his weight. He pushed my shoulder gently, mumbling how wonderful I am as he stroked up my side which was wet with perspiration. His phone buzzed in the pocket on the floor, causing us both to snap our heads towards it. He looked at me and groaned, dropping his head in my chest.

"Answer it." I told him.

He rolled off me, bending over to search his jeans for his phone. I nodded to me and walked towards the bathroom, answering it with a hello. I lay back, closing my eyes, not wanting to drift off. Knowing Damon, I'm pretty sure he had another round or two in him. And I wasn't going to turn that down. Like he said, it has been too long.

I must have slept for mere minutes, not realising just how tired I was when the bathroom door swung open. Damon was standing at it, completely naked, holding his phone in one and his other hand was balled into a fist. His expression was nothing other than anger and my stomach tightened as I wondered who he was on the phone to.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms round them as a security blanket.

Damon gritted his teeth and slammed the bathroom door as he walked closer to the bed. "How long?" He asked. I tilted my head in confusion. What is it when men in New York and them thinking I can read their minds?

"What?"

He swore and then threw his phone at the wall opposite with such force it came slamming down to the floor in bits. "Don't fucking play with me, Lauren." He said as he eyes burned with fury. "How long have you been teaming up with Edward to mess with my fucking feelings?"

And suddenly, it felt like the world stopped turning and everything I knew came crashing down.

**I'm taking so long with updates, I'm sorry. Like 3 more chapters to go. Unless things change, which it regularly does. Sexy times, followed by not so fun times. I own no one but Lauren cause if I did Damon would be in my bed. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

They always have those clichéd moments in movies when everything starts to go right, something happens and then everything falls to pieces. While they are entertaining, and generally unrealistic, it's very rare it happens in real life. At least, that was what I thought before it happened to me. I wouldn't say that everything was perfect, because that would be impossible. But it wasn't far off it.

"How long, Lauren?" I could hear Damon shouting over my trance. I couldn't speak. I couldn't even begin to think of what I could tell him. Anything I would say wouldn't be enough.

I looked at him, almost pleading for him to listen to me before he exploded. His nostrils were flared, and his cheeks were burning red. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and watched as he took a step back, like being any closer to me could harm him.

"Let me explain." I stammered, running a shaking hand through my bed hair. I heard him grunt and back towards the door. "It isn't how it sounds. Edward probably over exaggerated. He's drunk and-"

"It wasn't Edward on the phone."

_Then who? _My mind went into overdrive trying to figure out who it could have been. The only people who knew were Edward and Jenny. "Jenny." I breathed.

"Not her either." He snapped. He was leaning against the door just like he had done before he picked me up this evening. But this time he wasn't sexy, he was scary and intimidating. "Not technically anyways."

"I don't understa-"

He laughed and stood up, walking towards him. It was me who backed away this time, stopping only when the back of my knees hit the bed. He was now directly in front of me, both of us still completely naked. I have never felt so bare in all my life, desperate for some piece of clothing to use as a form of comfort.

He moved my hair from my face and smirked. "Of course you don't." _What the fuck was that supposed to mean? _"You see, Jenny doesn't keep secrets from those she cares about. She's rather fond of this thing called honesty."

"Nate." I breathed again.

Damon ignored me and carried on talking. "I get why that would be a foreign concept to you, considering all you do is lie to people. Even those you say you care about. Or is that a lie to? I've lost track, sorry." He joked. As I pulled my dress over my head, I felt a tight grip of my wrist. I looked up at Damon, to find his dangerous eyes glaring at me.

"Don't get dressed on my account." He smirked.

"Piss off." Have I ever told you how bad I am at comebacks when I'm annoyed? I just come out with swear words that don't tend to have an effect on anyone. I pulled my arm from his grasp and stormed out of his bedroom.

But that didn't stop him from following me. "Why can't you answer my question?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I did." I replied. "Why would I waste my breath?" I bent over to pick up my shoes and bag when I felt a pair of hands on my waist and his naked crotch on my backside. I stood up immediately, turning to face him. "Move."

"Try me." He breathed in my ear, backing away so he could lean against the table. I dropped my bag with a sigh, trying not to stare at his naked figure.

I fiddled with my fingers, looking at the ground as I collect my thoughts. "It was Edward's idea." I mumbled quietly. I could tell Damon was struggling to hear as he leant forward slightly. "I was upset when you turned me down and he told me I could still get you to admit your feelings if I followed five steps."

"Steps?" He questioned.

"More like stages. From friends to...lovers, I suppose." I refused to meet his gaze, continuing to stare at the floor. It was easier to ignore what he was feeling if I didn't look. "I thought it was a good idea. Well, not necessarily good, but the only way to make you listen."

I heard him grunt in disagreement. I looked up to find him walking towards the kitchen. I moved slightly so we were able to continue to conversation. "So you played some sick little game because you didn't get what you want?" He half shouted.

"No!" I exclaimed, causing him to smack his hand of the kitchen counter. "Yes." I told him, walking forward. "I know how selfish it sounds, but you don't underst-"

"I know I was a dick to you but I didn't think you'd be the kind of girl who'd fuck with someone's feelings because you were denied something you want." He argued. "I should have known though. You are a kid."

"I'm two years younger than you." I snapped. He was trying to make our relationship sound wrong and I refused to let him do that.

He laughed, bringing it glass that was now filled with alcohol up to his mouth before swallowing it whole. "I didn't mean in that sense, sweetheart." I wanted to hit him. I wanted to walk over and slap that smirk of his face.

"I don't know why you're so mad. I-"

"What?" He shouted so loudly I involuntarily stepped back.

I swallowed before continuing. "I know my methods were wrong and I shouldn't have gone behind your back. But I got you to open up. We wouldn't be where we are now if I hadn't of did this. You would have never admitted your feelings."

"So I'm supposed to thank you?" He questioned, leaning forward. I don't know if it was the alcohol affecting his balance, or if he was just so angry he couldn't stand up straight.

"That isn't what I said. I just meant-"

"You meant that I was a heartless twat before I met you and I should be happy that you've miraculously changed my ways." He groaned, throwing the glass across the room. I heard it smash behind me, but didn't dare turn to look.

"You said so yourself. You've changed. But it has nothing to do with me. You did that yourself." I walked towards him and he looked at me like I was insane for trying to get close to him at a time like this. He put his hand up, ordering me to stop moving. But I just pushed it out of the way, holding it in mine, stroking my thumb over his palm.

He was tense, but he didn't move. "Not everything needs to change." He said quietly. "Some things are fine the way they are."

I frowned and looked up to find him staring at me. His eyes were less harsh than they were moments ago, but they had a wall behind them, preventing me from seeing how he really felt. "I'm so sorry, Damon. I really am." I half sobbed. "Can you forgive me?"

It was silent for a moment and I could hear my heartbeat in my chest. My palms were beginning to become sweating as I held onto his grasp. "Yes." I nearly leaped in joy, but instead I just broke out into a grin.

"You're right about change." He started. "I do have it in me to change." I smiled, and stroked the side of his face. "Which is why I change my mind about us."

"Wh...what?" My mouth fell open and my brows furrowed. I was squeezing his hand so tight it would be impossible for him to let go. Until he pulled away. I stood in front of him, completely dumbfound. He turned away from me, walking back towards his bedroom.

I followed after him quickly. "I gave this thing a go, and I've decided I don't want it. This relationship stuff isn't for me." He said.

"You're lying." I shouted, refusing to accept the bullshit he was telling me. It was just a defence mechanism because I hurt him. "You didn't even give it a chance. You can't count one date as a relationship."

He turned back to face me, but didn't close the distance between us. "I'm pretty perceptive about things. If this is what it's going to be like being with you, I don't want any part of it. I'm sorry if that hurts your precious feelings but please don't try to fuck with my mind to get what you want again."

"That's unfair." I sighed. _Why won't he just fucking listen to me?_

"Really?" He asked and I nodded. He walked towards me and put his hand on his hips. Suddenly I was reminded that he was still very much naked. "Then please tell me. What would you classify as fair?"

"Just...listen to me." I groaned, frustrated. I didn't even know what I was asking him to listen to. I didn't know what I could say that he did have some smart comeback for. For someone so new to this dating thing, he knew exactly what to say about it all.

"I'm listening." He said, staring at me intently.

I took a breath before deciding to just come out with it all. I might as well do step five while I'm here and see where it leads me. What did I have to lose? _My pride, my dignity. _"I like you, Damon. And I care about you. More than I should do within a month. I know it's scary for you, but it's just as fucking scary for me."

I rambled on and on about my feelings. Everything that I had built up to this point was coming out, not taking any consideration of my word choice. "But I'm willing to take a chance because I know that you're worth it. Even though you don't believe you are. I'm willing to give us a chance despite of all your fears of hurting me. Because I know that you won't." My voice cracked. "And I will try my very hardest not to hurt you like I just did."

"You didn-"

"You don't have to lie to me." I interrupted. "You can always be honest with me."

There was a moment of silence; signally he was taking my words into account. I didn't know if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. "Like you were to me?"

_Ouch. _"Damon-"

"While your little speech was heart warming at best, it didn't change my mind. I appreciate your honesty, and yes I did like you for a minute. But now I'm bored and you've ruined my mood." He rolled his eyes. "Can you leave?"

"I...what?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was completely sincere with him, and lay my heart on the line. But he just shoved it all back in my face, tearing it to shreds while he did so.

He let out a moan and ran his hand through his hair, walking towards his bedroom. "I'm tired, Lauren. You have exhausted me, and not in the good way." I followed him to the door and watched as he looked down at me. "You can make your own way home, right?"

I didn't even have the chance to nod before he closed the door in my face. I stood motionless for a minute before pulling myself together. I felt a single tear drop down my cheek, staining my face with mascara. I threw my messy hair over my shoulder and walked towards my shoes, collecting them and then my bag which was dumped at the door.

I slid my feet into my heels, and used the door handle to balance myself. I didn't realise the alcohol had such an effect on me. Or maybe it was the fact that I was still shaking with nerves. _This isn't normal, _I thought._ I don't get like this over people. Especially not boys. _

I took one last glance at the bedroom door before leaving his flat, and slamming the door behind me, just so he would know that I was gone. Just like he wanted.

I don't know how I managed it but I was but before I knew it I was sprinting up the stairs of the dorms, clenching my fists and blinking to stop the tears from pouring out. I didn't know who I was madder at. Nate for putting his nose where it didn't belong. Jenny for telling Nate. Edward for starting this whole thing. Or myself, just for being an idiot.

I trampled down the corridor, deciding the only way to calm myself down was to release the anger built up within me. I swung the dorm room door open furiously to find Jenny lying down relaxed on the bed, grinning with her phone glued to her ear. She nodded at my appearance and gave me a small smile. _How dare she? Obviously she knows what has just happened. _

She quickly reverted her attention back to the person on the other end of the phone. _Probably Nate_, I thought_. Stupid big mouth twat._

I forcefully slammed the door behind me, causing her to snap her gaze back to me, and for the picture frame on the wall to shake, leaving it tilted a little to the left. I dropped my bag at my feet and walked towards the bathroom, leaving the door open.

Looking in the mirror wasn't a pleasant sight to say the least. My make up was smudged down my face, my hair just gave of the idea I had sex, and I just noticed I forgot to put my bra back on. I splashed water over my face, and then continued to try and make myself look like I didn't just get beat up by a group of drunken skanks.

"I'll call you back later." I heard Jenny say from the other room. "She knows." _No shit._

I sighed loudly, and then heard a slight knock on the door. I glanced up and stared at her through the mirror. She looked terrified, and didn't dare cross the line to the bathroom. Probably wise. At least she knows she should be regretful.

"How was your night?" She asked. _Really? That's all you can fucking ask me? Because I'm pretty sure you already know the answer to your very pointless question. _I instantly turned round to face her, leaning against the sink in the process.

I raised my eyebrow at her and she fiddled with her fingers, not daring to make eye contact. "Why?" I asked, plainly. No response. I waited for a moment, just hoping she would at least try to explain herself. I scoffed and stormed past her, making sure to lightly shove her in the process.

"I'm sorry." She groaned, pulling at her scraggly hair. "I didn't think he'd tell him."

"Well he did." I yelled. My voice cracked and if I wasn't trying so hard, I would probably be in floods of tears again. But I wasn't going to let her see how much this has affected me. I'd like to have at least some dignity left. "And you have completely ruined everything."

"That's not fai-"

"Not fair? I'll tell you what's not fair." I started. "It's not fair that I can't tell my best friend something in confidence without having to worry about her going to tell her boyfriend. I bet you and Nate had a lovely bitch about me, and I bet it was just wonderful discussing how Damon deserves much better than me, and how much of a slut I am."

"I'd never say any of that." She squeaked. _Why not? It's true, _I thought.

"How would I know that?" I questioned. "Not long ago you were refusing to talk to me because of the whole thing. I should have known you wanting to be friends again was a lie. Did you build me up again just to ruin everything? It hurts more that way, doesn't it?"

"I may have forgiven you but you know my opinion on the entire matter was still the same." She argued. _No I didn't. You must have kept that part to yourself. _ "Damon's still my brother." I wanted to slap her. It's not like I had forgotten that. But being a relative doesn't give you a ticket to screw people over.

I sighed and sat on the edge of my bed, lowering my head into my hands, rubbing my eyes to push back the tears. "Why?" I repeated.

"Why what?" She asked, folding her arms. I stood up again instantly, wanting to regain focus. I wasn't going to be pushed over. I wanted a simple answer, not an argument. And the least she could do was give that to me.

"Why did you tell Nate?" I asked. She sighed and took a step backwards, obviously knowing her response was going to anger me. And distance right now would be safer. "I thought I could trust you."

"You can." She whispered.

"Please just answer my question." I begged, not wanting to wait any longer. "If you want my forgiveness then just be honest with me."

She nodded. "I don't have the explanation you're looking for. If you expect me to have some fancy revenge plan, or a deep meaningful response then you're going to be disappointed." She told me. I stared at her blankly, not understanding what she was getting at. I wasn't looking for something special. Just the truth. "I told Nate because I'm a wimp."

"Excuse me?"

She groaned before continuing. "I told Nate because I knew he'd tell Damon. Because he's that kind of person. He's honest, and he doesn't like to see anyone being messed with. Especially his friends. I wanted Nate to tell Damon because then I wouldn't have to." She took a breath, noticing my tightly shut mouth. "I told him because he deserved to know. And because you're right. Damon deserves better than you. And that just shows how low you've become."

My mouth hung open in shock at her reply. Honesty is what I asked for. And it's what I got. It brutal and I could feel a pain in my chest getting stronger signalling I was going to break down again. I blinked a couple of times trying to gain composure. It took me a second to realise that I wasn't able to stop the tears, as one dripped down my cheek and onto my chin.

Before I knew it I walked directly up to the nervous girl in front of me, and stood precisely opposite her. I raised my hand quickly and slapped her firmly across the cheek, accidently letting my nails scratch across her chin. She gasped in shock, clutching onto her face in pain.

"For someone who plays so high and mighty, Jenny, you surely have a lot of evil in you." I told her, my voice shaking, unable to get words out properly. "It's going to eat you up inside one day. And when it does, you'll have no friends to be here for you."

I walked over to my stuff lying on the floor, lifted it up and made my way for the door again. _I'm finding it hard to stay in one place for more than an hour. _I tossed my bag over my shoulder and wiped the last of the tears running down my face away.

"And for the record, Nate deserves a lot better than you." I reminded her. "Just since we're being so honest with each other."

"Don't be bitter, Lauren." She snapped. "You wanted the truth. It was only time before someone called you out on all the shit you've caused. Stop pitying yourself and maybe worry about what pain you've caused other people."

_You have no idea how much I worry. _"I actually worry a lot." I replied. "But you wouldn't know that because you only think the worst of me." I opened the door, deciding it was best to leave now before something worse gets said. _I could say a lot worse._

"Where are you going?" She moaned.

"Away." I simply replied, and closed the door behind me. I rested my head against the wall and sighed. I didn't know what leaving was going to achieve. But it had to be better than staying.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, scrolling through contacts, desperate to find someone who would let me crash at their house. But everyone is on that fucking camping trip. Maybe if me and Damon had stayed at it, none of this would have happened.

I stopped suddenly when a certain named appeared across my contacts list. Eric. I swallowed loudly, contemplating what to do. I could either be completely inappropriate but actually be comforted tonight, or sleep in a cheap motel using the last of the money in my bank account.

I'm selfish. That's something I can admit. And I'd much rather spend the night in a warm home with someone I care about, than a shoddy hotel by myself. So I pressed the call button.

I stumbled out of the taxi, and ran towards the house in front of me. To go with my mood, it had decided to start to rain so heavy that my dress was now clinging to me in all the wrong ways. If I thought I looked terrible beforehand my appearance had reached a whole new level of awful the moment I left the dorm room.

I felt a sudden rush of nerves when I reached the door. Eric seemed a little hesitant on the phone, but I think given the fact I was stumbling over my words and unable to hold a coherent sentence helped my proposal. And he's just being a good teacher, helping his students, right? _Yeah, I realise I'm trying to convince myself. _

I ran the doorbell, and tapped the window realising I wasn't just at a friend's dorm room. I was at my teacher's house. Which he lives in with his wife. I stumbled in my heels, feeling drunk despite the lack of alcohol consumption. It felt as though I had been waiting for hours, and part of me wanted to run back, convinced he wasn't going to answer the door.

The door swung open and Eric stood in front of me wearing a black t shirt, and sweat pants. His hair was fluffy like he had just rolled out of bed. _Just for me, _I reminded myself. "Come in." He mumbled, with eyes wide over my drenched appearance.

I shimmied past him and flattened my hair out, trying to make it sit in a way that didn't make me look like I have a square head. I turned to face Eric who was staring at me with a worried expression.

"Can I use your bathroom?" I asked.

He nodded and pointed to a door down the hall. I turned quickly and half ran down the hallway. I didn't even need to go to the bathroom; I looked at myself but turned away immediately because there was evidently nothing I could do. I padded myself with the towel to dry myself off, giving my hair a toss as well.

I decided not to prolong the awkward conversation any longer, and left the bathroom, following the light into the living room. Eric was sitting down, leaning his head against the back of the couch, rubbing his forehead. _He looks conflicted._

"Sorry for bothering you." I said, causing him to look up, with his eyes half open. "You look exhausted."

He forced a smile and ran a hand through his hair. He stood up of the couch and walked towards me. "It's alright." I knew he was lying, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to ask him to elaborate.

"Is your wife here?" I asked, curious. I didn't think he would say yes to me coming around if she was here. And I couldn't help but wonder where she is. He shook his head and took a step back. "Why not?" I asked, unsure if I was pushing the boundaries. _But isn't that how it always is with us._

He coughed awkwardly and crossed his arms. "She's visiting her parents." He told me, but I sensed there was more to the story. "We're taking time apart." My head jolted. What exactly did he mean by time apart? Where they splitting up? And why?

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, walking towards him.

He laughed lightly and nodded towards the couch. I followed him towards it, and sat down beside him but kept a gap between us. "Not to be rude. But I thought it was you who wanted to talk to me."

"I guess I'm trying to deflect." I sighed. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you."

He shook his head. "You aren't." He replied. _Damn, why does he always say the right thing? Or I suppose for him, it's the wrong thing. _"But I would like to know why you're here. Is there anything I should be concerned about?"

"No." I told him. "I just got into a pretty bad fight with my roommate. And all my friends are on a camping trip." I tried to convince him that this visit was justified even though it probably wasn't. "I had nowhere else to go."

He stared at me deeply for a moment, licked his lips over twice and glanced down at his hands. "Would you like a drink?" He stood up and walked towards the exit, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Wine would be nice." I replied before even considering that alcohol probably would make this situation worse. _But I would love to get out of these clothes. Only because they are wet and sticking to me in all the wrong ways._

Eric let out a small laugh, leaving me puzzled. "I meant a soft drink." I told me, making me feel like an idiot. Of course he did. Because he's my teacher and he's supposed to comfort me. Not get me drunk. "But wine will do." He winked.

I fidgeted about awkwardly as I heard glasses clink and wine drip from the room next door. I sat up comfortably when Eric re-entered the room, handing me a glass which was barely full. _At least somebody knows their limits_, I thought.

I tapped glasses with him and smiled, taking a small sip. I wasn't going to let it go to my head. I was going to be a responsible adult for once in my life. "So, you were saying you and your wife were apart..."

He laughed loudly then, completely not thrown by me trying to be oblivious. I shifted back into the couch trying to hide my embarrassment. Eric did not seem fazed whatsoever and I wanted to hit him for it. I took a large gulp to hide my shame, but all it did was add to the blush in my cheeks.

"We're discussing our future and it seems we want different things." He said bluntly.

I licked my lips and scrunched my eyebrows. "I could have told you that." I said it before I even realised how rude I sounded. I slapped my hand over my mouth and my eyes widened in shock. It seems red wine gives me foot in mouth disease.

Eric giggled and pulled my hand away, not letting go of it in the process. "If I'm being honest, I'm glad you called." My heart jumped at the change of tone. "We haven't spoken in a while."

_Yeah, because I attacked you with my lips. And you responded. _"Given the circumstances, are you really surprised?" I questioned.

"No." He agreed. "But I was surprised by how mature you were about the whole thing. It wouldn't have been right to go back to normal just as easily." I nodded because he was right. But I wasn't staying away from him to be mature. It was only because I felt like an idiot. He didn't need to know that.

"I'm always mature." I lied and he laughed again.

It wasn't until he refilled my glass, with more fluid this time, that I realised I had already consumed my first portion. I took another large gulp and then licked my lips. I was already feeling the effects of the sweet taste bubbling in my brain but I didn't stop.

Eric leant forward slightly but it felt like the distance between us was so small that if I tilted my head our lips would touch. He caught my gaze and coughed as if to wake himself up. "What happened tonight, Lauren?"

"Nothing." I mumbled, looking away.

He shook he head, urging me to be truthful. I had no reason to lie to Eric. He's never been judgemental, nor has he ever spoken a bad word about me. As far as I'm aware. Why shouldn't I be able to tell him about my evening? "It's Damon." I sighed.

His face tensed and he lent back, obviously remembering the face of the guy who ruined our evening out together. "Did he hurt you?" He asked, with a red face.

I shook my head and rubbed the tears from my eyes which I didn't realise had developed. I scratched my fingernails along my thigh, distracting myself from what was going on around me. "I hurt him." Eric furrowed his eyebrows in confusion but didn't question me. So I continued. "I betrayed his trust, and lied to him. I went behind his back and used him for my own gain." I let out a cry at the end of the sentence. "I'm a horrible person."

Eric grunted and ran a stiff hand through his hair, tugging at it in the process. "If I remember correctly, this same guy has done the same, if not worse to you. Why are you blaming yourself?"

"Because I'm not supposed to be this kind of person!" I yelped and lowered my head into my hands. I sobbed quietly before even attempting to finish what I was saying. I sniffed and slurred until there was nothing left to do. When I had finally composed myself I felt Eric's arms tightly wound around my shoulder, pulling me closer. I looked up at him with a sad expression. He didn't protest as I leant into him, but pulled me until my chin forehead was resting against his shoulder.

"There is nothing wrong with the kind of person you are." He whispered to me and pressed a kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent. If this was wrong, then I really didn't care.

I looked upwards and found my vision collided with his chin. I nuzzled my face into his neck and planted a kiss along his jawbone. I could feel him talking deep breaths, but I didn't dare contemplate what he could be thinking about. Instead I continued leaving numerous kisses along the bone and upwards until I finished just about touching the corner of his mouth.

He jumped up suddenly causing me to tense. _I've fucked it up haven't I? I found something good and I pushed it too far. _He glared down at me for a long moment, hands on his hips. I looked up at him like a little girl unsure if she was going to be punished. I stood up and he stalked towards the door leading into the hallway. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, so I followed him.

I called his name when I exited the door but soon found my back colliding with the wall behind me. I didn't get a chance to gasp in shock as a pair of lips were on mine. Eric was kissing me. But not like our last kiss. It was passionate and all consuming. I stood with my hands by my side not moving or even interacting as he practically bruised my bottom lip with force. He grasped the back of my head pulling me forwards, begging me to do something. So I did.

I wrapped my hands round his waist, involuntarily bashing our hips of each other but that did nothing but earn a growl that sent shivers through my head to my toes. His black t shirt is the first thing to go. I rip it off his chest and attempt to throw it to the floor but it gets caught on the lampshade to my right. I let my hands wander over the ripples along his back as he grips me by the ass, lifting me so I can tangle my legs around his waist.

My dress is restricting me and it gets hard to participate. I try to remove it or at least gain some space to the area begging to be free but it's impossible. Eric must sense my frustration as he holds me against the wall with one arm and pulls my dress above my hips with another. I kiss his neck, letting my tongue trace his adam's apple. He groans and pushes me harder against the wall.

I don't realise when he pulls my panties off but before I know it he is sliding them into his pocket and I'm suddenly bare below the waist. I kick my shoes off to avoid any pain and he moves them out of his way. I feel his hand trace down my chest, over my stomach and between my thighs. He breaths loudly into my ear when he finds I'm already wet. _What did he expect? _I can feel him against my thigh and it seems to only make him harder. He slides a finger inside making me moan loud enough for the neighbours to hear. Another finger follows, and soon he is brushing over my clit with his thumb. I grasp onto his muscular shoulders to keep myself up, or else I'd probably be collapsed on the floor.

"Please." I whisper, grunting in his ear as I buck harder against his hand. I don't know what I'm asking for but Eric does. He curves his fingers finding my sweet spot and I melt in his arms. My legs tighten around his waist and I lift myself higher to give him more access. I know I'm close and I start to cry out in pleasure. He removes his hand, smiling and assaults my mouth with his again. I rub myself against him not liking the lack of movement below.

I push his pants over his hips, taking his boxers down in unison. He grasps his hard member in his hand, tugging a few times, aligning himself up at my entrance before looking at me directly in the eyes. "Are you on-"

"Yes." I reply, knowing instantly he's worried about contraception. I attempt to take control but he pins both of my hands above my head, still holding himself with the other hand. I feel his tip enter me and sigh in relief. He closes his mouth over mine, capturing both of our moans. He doesn't hold back once he is inside. And I don't want him too. I grab him by the scruff of the neck and he thrusts his hips effortlessly with mine. I can hear the sound of our skin colliding and the wet sound as he moves in and out. Over and over.

My legs begin to dangle but he doesn't let it happen for long, lifting them up again but deciding to spread them even further guaranteeing he reaches a new angle. He succeeds and I can barely move, thrusting back helplessly as I try to concentrate on how to breath properly. Eric, however, is a natural. Using my moans and whimpers as a chant to push me harder and deeper as his tongue slides from my neck, to my breasts and even my ear lobes.

He stops suddenly, sliding out of me and wiping a shaky hand across his forehead. I stare at him in disappointment and I'm almost ready to begin protesting when he asks me to turn around. I don't question him, doing as I'm told, my chest now pressed against the cold wall drenched in my sweat. He sucks on my neck, holding onto my waist with on hand as he strokes my stomach. He slowly pulls my hips back towards him and then he's back inside me again. I search the wall for something to hold onto but find nothing, leaving me gasping for air. My heart pounds and I lean against him. He kisses me from an awkward angle then pulls back and pushes in.

"Oh God." I manage to squeal out. I focus all my energy on pushing my hips back against his meeting his thrusts halfway. It's just as hard and fast as before but when he reaches around me and begins palming my clit I yelp out uncontrollably. I feel my legs go weak and I lean my head against the wall. One of Eric's hands touches my breast while the other is cupping me and sliding inside of me.

I couldn't hold onto it any longer. I let go with one final frantic thrust backwards before collapsing completely against the wall. I try to regain my breath and sense that Eric is done also as he thrusts slowly and before I know it, I'm empty again. I don't turn round immediately, not knowing what I'm supposed to say.

I pull my dress back down over my hips and brush a hand through my hair. I turn to face him but he's gone. I bite my lip and search for my shoes, trying to deal with the humiliation of running out after sex again. I feel the tears well up but hold them back. _I won't cry until I get out of the door._

Just as I'm about to leave, Eric re appears, completely clothed again as if the last number of minutes didn't just happen. He holds out his arm to me, handing me a large t shirt. I stare at him, confused. "Eric, I-"

"You can stay in the guest room." He nods towards the room down the hall and turns his back, making his way up stairs. I stand for a minute trying to gather my thoughts. I just had sex with my teacher, but he's acting like it didn't happen and offering me a place to stay. I fix my strap and walk towards the bedroom, entering and quickly closing the door behind me.

I lean my back against the door, throwing my shoes and bag to the single bed opposite me. I sit down and massage my skull. What have I done? How am I ever going to face seeing Eric ever again? He must have regretted it so much that he couldn't wait to get away from me. I lay down and closed my eyes, but the vibration from my phone in my bag was distracting me. I pulled my phone out and rubbed my eyes.

My heart nearly stopped at what I saw. Damon was calling me. I sat blankly looking at the highlighted screen, not doing anything but feel the vibration run up my arm. Why is he calling me? _I thought he hated me._ I slept with someone else. What if he called to make amends? How am I supposed to explain myself now?

I held off so long that my phone came to a stop, and then flashed that I had one missed call. I threw my phone across the room and crawled under the blanket. I can deal with it all tomorrow. Everything will still be there then. I glance at the clock. It was 5 in the morning. I could at least get 3 hours sleep and then when the sun rises, I can sort everything out. Everything will be fine. _I hope._

**And the longest waiting update goes to meeeeeee! I left this so long I forgot how to write. But wahey, plan to finish this all before Christmas. I don't own anyone but Lauren. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

The morning rolled round and before I knew it the Sunday sky was breaking through the gaps behind the curtains. I groaned, hiding my head underneath the pillow, desperate for another 5 minutes of rest. I glanced at the clock beside me. It was half past 7. I had gone through the night with 2 and a half hours sleep. That is if you would count my constant drifting in bed as solid sleep. I rubbed my forehead, attempting to wake myself up. If I wanted to get a fresh start before my awkward conversation with Eric I needed to get up now. _Maybe I could make a break for it. I mean, he left me alone this morning._

I throw my legs over the edge of the bed and tip toe across the room trying not to make a sound. Unfortunately the door decides to creak and I stop to listen for movement. I continue across the hallway and find myself walking towards the kitchen. The light is on but no one is there. Maybe we left it on last night. But my memory is slightly blurred after everything that happened.

I sighed, leaning against the counter. How did I get myself into my mess? What did I think coming here was going to achieve? It most certainly wasn't going to make things better. It just brings more people into my problems. People who don't deserve it. What if Eric hates me? If I'm being honest, I wouldn't blame him. I'm pretty hateable right now. I lifted a cup from the cupboard, walked towards the sink and poured myself a glass of water. I played it gently across my lips before taking a large gulp. I didn't have a chance to swallow it when I heard the kitchen door squeak open.

"Morning." Eric half smiled. His eyes were dark. I assumed it was from exhaustion. I guess I wasn't the only one who barely slept. "You been up long?"

I shook my head nervously. I've become accustomed to this awkward morning talks recently, but not usually when it involves your married teacher. _He is having a break from his wife though, _I thought trying to make things less inappropriate. "If I'm being honest, I didn't really sleep."

He let out a small laugh in agreement. "Me neither." He walked towards the cupboard beside me, and put the kettle on. The sudden proximity was almost too much to bare and I had to inch myself away without making it noticeable. Silence filled the room while he poured himself a cup of coffee.

I tapped my foot and stared at the door, wanting to run out of it. But I figured that would make class even worse on Monday. I heard his cup clink with the counter and he let out a sigh. "We should probably talk." _Let's not. Let's just pretend nothing happened. Please. _

"I guess." I replied. Could I be any more awkward?

He nodded towards the kitchen table and I sat at the furthered chair possible. Unfortunately Eric decided to pull one up right beside me. Obviously he didn't understand this proximity problem I was having. Or else he was just being cruel.

"I'm going to be honest with you, Lauren." He was staring at me so intensely it felt like I was being scolded by a parent for doing something naughty. Or a teacher. Oh God, can this situation get more fucked up? I nodded to tell him that honesty is fine. Although it was probably the furthest thing I want. It would be a miracle if I left this house today without being humiliated.

"What we did was wrong." He started. "And it cannot happen again." I let out a sigh of relief. I don't know what I was relieved about, but I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. "I got carried away last night. God, I was such an idiot. I don't know why I did what I did. Well, I do. I suppose we both seen it coming, but I should have stopped it. I'm supposed to be an adult and I took advantage of you, I'm truly sorry."

He looked so frustrated with himself. It was making me frustrated that he was blaming everything on him, when I took part as well. He wasn't the only one breaking the rules. "I don't blame you." I told him. "I wanted it to happen."He looked taken back by my response. If he was going to be honest with me, then I'd do the same for him. "As fucked up as it sounds, I don't regret it."

He swallowed loudly, and thought through his response. I watched him as he scratched his hand into the table and blinked repeatedly. "Neither do I. I suppose." He breathed. "I really should though."

"Why?" I asked instantly, even though I knew I was pushing questions I probably shouldn't. And I'd probably hear something I didn't want to. He looked at me completely shell shocked, like I was missing the big picture.

"Because I'm your teacher and you're my student." He leant forward. I nodded and bit my lip, thinking through what exactly my argument to what was. _I'm pretty sure but you're hot isn't an appropriate response. Even if it is true. _"Lauren-"

"But what should that matter?" I asked, interrupting him completely. "I'm legal. And we both enjoyed ourselves, right?" He nodded, looking down at his hands. "Then I call last night a success."

He smiled and sat back in his chair, looking relaxed for the first time this morning. I suddenly felt a lot more comfortable also. I don't know what I expected to be the outcome of this. But I should have known Eric would be reasonable with me. He hasn't ever been anything but reasonable. "You have a funny way of looking at things." He joked.

"Just optimistic, I suppose." I said with a shrug. "Nothing I said this morning wasn't true."

He licked his lips before replying. "Same goes for me." I smiled at him and he returned the gesture. "I really like you Lauren. I want us to still be friends." I felt my heart leap out of my chest in happiness, but did my best not to react that way. _Keep it cool, _I thought. "With my wife gone, it's nice to have someone to talk to."

I felt sorry for him, but ignored the temptation to ask why his wife had left again. Obviously he didn't want to discuss it. "Likewise." I told him. He was always there when I needed to have a rant, preferably about that stupid Salvatore guy. "And I am always here if you need an awkward female to talk to."

"I'll keep that in mind." He laughed and ran a hand through his dishevelled blonde hair. He stood up from his seat and walked towards the fridge. "Would you like something to eat?"

I stood up and shook my head. "I should probably get going." I replied. "Jenny will be wondering where I am." I lied. She wouldn't give a damn where I was, given the fact we aren't talking. I walked towards the kitchen door but turned back to give Eric a nod to which he returned with a wave and a smile.

I rushed towards the bedroom, changed back into my messy dress quickly and tied my hair up into a messy bun. I slipped into my shoes and grabbed my bag, and then I remembered. Damon's phone call. He called me last night but I didn't answer. Oh God. I lifted my phone out of my bag to find 6 missed calls. Four from Damon, one from Edward, and another from Jenny. What is going on?

I slip out of the bedroom, making my way towards the front door. I don't see Eric so I leave quickly, shutting the door behind me. Instead of going for the difficult option, I went for the one I deemed easiest. I called Edward as I made my way through the large driveway.

He picked up instantly. "Hello?"

"It's Lauren." I told him, noticing that he sounded drunk. I wonder if he's gotten back from the camping trip yet. Maybe he's just tired. _Or regretful of what he said to me down the phone. _"I was calling to check if everything's alright. I had a missed call from you."

"Right." He mumbled. I could hear him fidgeting about and the phone went silent suddenly. It came to life again moments later. "Do you think you could meet me at the cafe in about 15 minutes?" He asked without giving any reason why, or even answering why he was calling me.

"Sure." I replied without thinking. _Why do I agree to things I don't intend to? _I didn't get a chance to add anything else because he had hung up. I shook my thoughts and ordered a taxi, desperate to find out what was going on instantly.

When I arrived at the local cafe Edward was already there waiting. He was dressed in what seemed to be a plain t-shirt and a loose pair of jeans. He looked absolutely exhausted as he played about with the foam in his cappuccino. He ran a hand through his hair, and turned to look outside when his eyes met with mine. He smiled and gestured me to come inside.

I nervously made my way over to him, playing with the strap on my dress like a little girl. When I got closer I noticed that Edward's hair was scruffy and his eyes were so red they looked like he had been rubbing them repeatedly. I pulled out my chair and sat down uncomfortably. Mostly due to my dress.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" He joked, leaning against his left hand, grinning. "Did you have a long night?"

I didn't know what he was getting at. He's probably spoken to Damon and knows exactly what happened. Was he prying so he could run off and tell Damon what a slut I've been? I don't know whether to trust anything Edward says or does. Master manipulator. "You could say that." He nodded and didn't say anything else. I coughed to fill the awkwardness. But it didn't seem to signal anything with Edward. "So you called me..."

"Of course." He said sipping from his cup. "I was concerned about you."

_What? _"What are you talking about?" I scrunched my forehead in confusion and was going to question him more when a brunette waitress came over, placing a cup in front of me. I nodded to be polite then turned my gaze back to Edward.

"I know what happened with Damon." He said. Of course he fucking did. "And what happened afterwards with Jenny." That I was not expecting. How could he possibly know that? Why was everyone running off to tell Edward about my private life?

"How?" It was all I could think of as a reply, and if I'm being honest, it's the only thing I wanted to know. The rest we could get to later, when things were less of a mind fuck.

He sighed, obviously prepping himself for a long story. I didn't care if it was as long as the fucking Deathly Hallows, I would make him sit through the whole story to tell me what the hell is going on. "When you ran off after fighting with Jenny, she called Damon, assuming you went to him, when he found this out he called me asking if I'd seen you." That makes sense, I suppose.

"He explained what happened, but only because I practically begged it out of him. He didn't want to tell me. Obviously he's mad at me, but he was worried you were hurt." He finished. I frowned trying not to think about Damon and how he could possibly be concerned for me. Not to mention that it just complicates everything.

I shifted in my seat feeling more tense than a lawyer in a courtroom. "Well, as you can see I'm fine. If you could report that back to Damon, it'd be much appreciated."

He laughed and sat forward in his chair. I don't know if he was trying to intimidate me or make me feel more uncomfortable but I felt the sudden need to punch him in the face. "You can do that yourself." I scoffed. Of course he was going to make this difficult. "And where exactly did you go last night? Obviously somewhere without spare clothing. Don't bother lying, your outfit does nothing but tell the truth."

"I stayed at a friend's house." I told him. I wasn't lying, Eric is my friend. I was just blurring out other details. "And I'd appreciate you stop making comments on my appearance when you look like you've either been smoking a bong or crying." I snapped out.

He looked offended but that didn't stop him from grilling me more. "Who was the friend?" He asked. "I know everyone that you know in New York." _Good for you, _I thought. Not everyone. _Not my teacher._

"You don't know him." I replied.

He tilted his head like he was contemplating something. Or trying to look innocent. It was getting hard to tell. "So it was a guy." He stated, and waited a brief moment before replying. "Did you have sex?" I groaned out loud, getting out of my seat instantly. "Sit down, I was kidding."

I waited a moment before sitting back in my seat. "It doesn't concern you whom I was with. You wanted to know if I'm okay, and I am. Can we leave it at that?" I asked, desperately wanting to go home and take a shower.

"If you really want to." He replied. "But I don't think you do. And I don't want to either." Why was he being so cryptic? What the hell was that supposed to mean? He let out a sigh and sat forward again. "Look, Lauren about the phone call last night..."

Oh, so this is what he wanted to discuss. Not like I haven't had enough awkward conversations today as it is. I decided to humour him. It's not like I'm the one who admitted my feelings down the phone.

"I'm sorry for the things I said." He told me and I shook my head trying to protest his apology. But he didn't give me a chance. "I was really rude to you. And I shouldn't try to butt into yours and Damon's relationship." _What relationship? _I thought. "But I meant every word. About my feelings, at least."

I looked down at my feet. "I know you did." I whispered. I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. "I'm sorry too." I don't know exactly what for. Maybe for leading him on. He didn't deserve that.

"You probably know by now that my advice on how to win over Damon had an ulterior motive." He told me honestly. I didn't. But the more I think about it, it should have been obvious from the beginning. I suppose it always slightly was.

"Everyone always has an ulterior motive." I smiled. "I can't blame you for that." I took my hand of his and ran a hand through my hair.

He grabbed it again before I had the chance to fix my appearance any more. "I was exaggerating about your appearance. You look fine." He said smiling, letting go off my hand and finishing his coffee before getting out of his seat.

"You're a bad liar." I smiled back. "But thank you."

He threw money on to the table and slid his hands into his pockets. "You really should call Damon." He said, biting his lip. "I know it's probably going to be difficult, but it'd be the best thing to do." And then he headed out of the door.

I felt sudden surge of joy when I arrived back at the dorm room. Not to mention the joy I felt when I found the room was empty meaning that I avoided a conversation with Jenny. I needed to save my awkwardness up to call Damon.

I jumped in the shower instantly, washed my scraggly wet hair and appreciated the warmth. When I finished, I dressed into a casual outfit and put on my slippers. My feet were practically screaming with happiness. I sat at the edge of my bed and stared at my phone like a crazed maniac. I scrolled down to Damon's name and questioned what good would come from me calling him.

It turns out I didn't need to make the decision. My stomach lurched when Damon's name flashed across the screen. He had beaten me to it, and he was calling me again. I didn't even think twice, I instantly answered. "Hey." I half sighed.

"Thank fuck." He muttered. I don't think I was supposed to hear it. I guess he wasn't expecting me to answer. "Can you not answer your phone?" He asked bitterly.

"Given the fact we're talking it's evident I can." I replied. He wasn't the only one who could be snarky. I wasn't going to take shit from him just because I didn't answer the phone. Did he really expect me too especially after what happened?

He swore again and it heard something bang. _Someone was angry. _"Where were you last night?" He questioned aggressively.

I sighed at the fact I was going to have to explain myself again. And I'm pretty sure Damon isn't going to be as reasonable about it as Edward was. He won't be as easy to lie to, unfortunately. "I stayed at a friend's house. I'm sorry that you were worried but-"

"I wasn't." He argued. "Jenny was. Do you know that if anything had happened to you she would have blamed herself?" I didn't know if he was lying about not caring, but part of me wished he was. "Did you have to be so selfish?"

I groaned and lay back on my bed. "I'm sorry." I gave up. I wasn't going to argue with him, or with anyone. It doesn't do me any good. In fact, it makes things worse. I should just nod and agree to get by in life. "I'll speak to Jenny when she gets home."

It was silent for a minute. I almost hung up the phone when he decided to speak up again, asking the questioned I feared the most. "Whose house did you stay at?" I couldn't tell him a name, at least not a real one. But I didn't want to lie to him.

"No one of importance." I replied and to my surprise he said nothing of it. _Maybe I underestimated Damon. _

"Can you meet me tonight?" He asked, making me sit up instantly. Why did he want to meet with me? To argue with me more? Or... "I think we should talk." That could mean so many things. What did he want to talk about? The weather? Edward? Our relationship? But I had to stick by my motto. No arguing.

"I'd like that." I half lied. Part of me was terrified. Part of me just wanted to be left alone. But the rest of me just wanted things back to the way they were with Damon. Before Nate's big mouth screwed it up. Before I manipulated my way into a relationship.

"Good." He said. "And Lauren, you should never listen to me when I'm upset." And he hung up. I groaned, rolling over on my side. _No Damon, I shouldn't listen to you ever._

I must have drifted off to sleep because when I finally sat up from my drool covered pillow, I checked my phone and it was already five in the evening. I rubbed my eyes to wake myself up and rolled off the bed. It was only then that I realised that Jenny still wasn't home. I tried not to think much of it and walked towards the wardrobe to pick an outfit out for tonight.

I rummaged through my hangers until I settled on a cream playsuit and black heels. I set my outfit out, just to be organised and flicked through the Chinese menu Jenny had left on her desk from weeks ago. Given my past experience with working in a Chinese restaurant I was repulsed at the thought and settled with making beans on toast. Classy style.

I was heating the beans when I heard a key fiddling in the key hole. I took a deep breath, getting myself ready for Jenny's reaction to my reappearance, and gearing myself up for another argument. I turned my attention back to my food, to avoid it being awkward when she walked in. The door closed shut and I heard a grunt, which did not sound similar to Jenny at all. Or a female at all.

I turned round, scrunching my forehead to find Nate standing beside the door looking absolutely bewildered. _Now that was the last person I expected. _"I'm just getting Jenny's stuff. She is staying with me for a few nights." And he walked towards her bed, emptying out her important items into a bag.

I stood; confused for a moment before deciding I needed to say something. Why was Jenny hiding away at his? Was she really so mad that she didn't want to see me? "Does Jenny know I'm here?" I asked, looking at the ground.

"Yes." He half whispered. "She just wanted some time away."

I nodded and sighed. _Some time away from me, because she hates me. _"Can you tell her that I'm sorry?" I questioned with hope. He turned his attention to me and opened his mouth to speak. Instead he just nodded and carried on with that he was doing. He looked egar to get out of here as fast as he possibly could.

A few minutes later, I settled into my food and I heard Nate zip out Jenny's bag and head for the door. I didn't expect much from him so I ignored the fact he evidently hates me too. Him and Jenny have like joint thoughts.

"I should probably do some apologising too." He said from across the room. I turned to face him and raised an eyebrow. "I mean, if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be in this situation right now, would you?"

That's right. It was him that couldn't keep his mouth closed and got involved in everyone else's business. I have nothing to thank him for. _Apart from the awesome sex with Eric. _"I guess not." I replied.

"Sorry." He mumbled so quietly it didn't even seem worth it. I didn't respond, and instead turned round to completely shut him out. As far as I'm concerned, he's lucky that I'm only giving him the cold shoulder when I really should be furious at him. "But it was all going to come out in the end."

I bounced out of my seat dropping my fork on the floor and the cup tipped spilling over some liquid staining the carpet. "You shouldn't have gotten to make the choice of when it came out." I snapped. "It was my decision."

My hands were now gripping onto the edge of the table, just to stop them from balling into fists. "You came between a close group of friends, Lauren." He reminded me. Not like I didn't already know that. "You don't get to control everything. Not when it affects everyone else's lives."

I was going to argue back but he didn't give me the opportunity to. "I couldn't even take my girlfriend on a camping trip because of you. Damon is one of my closest friends; I couldn't watch you manipulate him. And you destroyed his relationship with Edward. All for your own selfish reasons." He took a breath and I blinked nervously. "How was I not to stand in and stop it?"

I swallowed loudly, processing my thoughts to make sure they made sense. _Nothing would make sense after the argument he just used against me. I'll come out as the bad guy either way. _"You could have came to me first, Nate."

He tightened his mouth and gripped the door handle, obviously ready to leave. But he didn't before saying one last thing. "I could have." He paused slightly. "But I just don't like you enough to bother."

He closed the door loudly behind him, knocking me back into my senses. I bent down to pick up the fork and dabbed the carpet with a bit tissue until it became less discrete. I dabbed and dabbed until there was nothing left but the tears rolling down my left cheek.

It was just after 9 and I was heading to the bar to meet Damon like I had promised. I didn't know what to expect from meeting with him. If he wanted to talk about us, about last night or what we were supposed to do now. And for that reason, I was scared. I didn't want another night of hurting, and this time having no one to go home to..

I walked into the bar and scanned the place for blue eyed, dark haired guys. But I didn't see any. I walked over to the stalls and sat down, ordering a diet coke, deciding against alcohol in this situation. I zipped on the glass and checked my phone for any missed calls. It wasn't long until I was pulled away from my phone by a warm hand on my back.

I looked up to the blue eyes I was looking for just minutes ago and I couldn't help but let out a deep sigh due to the resemblance to when we first met. _But we went and had sex after that. _"Hi." I mumbled incoherently. He nodded, and took my hand, guiding me towards a table near the back of the bar. Once we reached it, I slid in first and he moved in beside me. Not as close as usual, but close enough.

"You look nice." He told me, taking a drink of his beer. He looked so casual, and so relaxed. Like none of last night happened. "You're not drinking." He asked like it was a statement.

I shook my head and he raised his eyebrow obviously questioning my reasoning. _God, am I really this much of an alcoholic that I always need a bottle in my hand?_ "I'm still hungover from last night."

He laughed, taking another drink. "They say it's the best cure."

"They lie." I responded and we smiled at each other. _This was a lot easier than I thought. _Was Damon really going to be a nice person about this? Was he going to forgive me and move on? Or did he have something up his sleeve?

"Everyone lies." He replied. _There we go._ "Don't they, Lauren?" He titled his head towards me and smirked. Like he found this whole situation hilarious. I gritted my teeth and shifted backwards from him. He noticed my attitude immediately. "Relax. I'm not here to argue with you more."

_Good, because that's the last thing I want right now. _"Then what are you here for?" I asked in the nicest way possible. I didn't want him to think I didn't want to be here, but I wanted to know his motives for being here.

He sighed and set his bottle down. "To talk." He moved closer to me and I felt my heart rate increase. My eyes widened nervously but he continued to move until we were side to side, touching skin to skin. He looked at me in the eyes and then stared at his feet. "Last night was the worst night of my life."

My mouth opened slightly in shock but I closed it immediately. I didn't get a chance to process his words as he continued. "I got so close to getting something good and then it just got taken away. It was the worst feeling in the world." He spoke and I nodded in agreement. "I don't understand how things went from being so perfect to so fucking shit." He grunted at the end, cheeks flaming red with frustration.

He stared at me and I blinked uncontrollably. He probably thought I had some blinking disorder. "I want things back to the way they were. I don't want it to change." He said, honestly. I felt my heart melt at his words.

"It doesn't have to." I told him, feeling my eyes well up, but I refused to cry. If he had the strength to be open with me then I had the strength to not force him away with my crazy hormonal emotions. "Not for us."

He forced a laugh and shook his head. "How can it not after everything?" He asked and I couldn't answer because I knew he was right. It had changed, and it wouldn't be normal again for a while. There were too many lies. "It isn't just what happened last night. I forgive you for that." I nearly jumped for joy at the thought. "It isn't just you. Everything I have done to you from the moment we met. It's not right. This relationship has never been right."

I wanted to punch him and tell him to stop looking for excuses. For reasons to back out when you find something good. "You don't get feelings like I have for you because the relationship is right." I told him, trying to make sense of words that didn't in my head. "Just because it doesn't fit to the social norms doesn't mean it isn't right for us." I argued. "I know you're right for me."

_This was turning into some cheesy soap opera. _He stared at me blankly and then lifted his bottle again; drinking quickly and slamming it back down on to the table quietly. "You shouldn't make assumptions about me."

"You shouldn't make them about me either." I replied, zipping on my coke after noticing how dry my mouth had become.

He laughed a real laugh this time and turned to face me completely. "I don't assume anything about you, Lauren." He replied, surprising me with his response. "You are constantly shocking me. You shocked me the moment we met when you jumped into bed with me." I shifted at the memory, feeling uncomfortable. _I wouldn't say I jumped..._ "And you surprised me with how manipulative you can be when getting what you want."

I hung my head in shame. "It's nothing to be embarrassed about." He said, tilting my chin up with his hand, stroking lightly over the skin repeatedly. "The more I thought about it, the more I admire you for having the balls to try and prove me wrong."

"And did I?" I asked, leaning into his touch. He slipped his hands behind my neck, stroking me there, and pulling my face towards his slightly. He smiled at me question and licked his lips quickly, just wetting them enough so they looked glossy.

"Yes." He whispered and closed his lips softly over mine. It was unlike any other kiss we had shared before. It was gentle, slow and I could feel every single movement he made. He kissed me like he was afraid of breaking me, and I kissed him back like I was afraid of him pulling away. I tugged him closer by his shirt, and he gripped my hand, placing it on his thigh.

I didn't want to stop but I could feel him breaking away and when he did I let out a gasp for air, as if we had been kissing passionately for hours. He bent forward to kiss my neck and rest his head on my shoulder. "You proved that I have feelings for you." He kissed my skin again and I tingled everywhere. "Are you satisfied?"

I giggled like a twelve year old and bent my neck slightly to give him more access. "Immensely." He lifted his head up and kissed me again, harder this time like he had been missing it for long. _Even though it had only been a number of hours. _He pulled away and mumbled that he needed to use the bathroom. I watched him walk away; grinning and I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. It was an unknown number so I walked outside to being able to hear clearly.

"Hello?" I asked. "Who's this?" I wasn't the biggest fan of unknown numbers. Usually they are prank callers or some foreigner trying to sell you numerous things that you really, really do not want. Normally it ends with me hanging up.

"Is this Lauren Owens?" A stern female voice asked and the sound of it made me tense up like I did when I was called out of the classroom in high school. It was automatically associated with having did something wrong.

I swallowed nervously, shaking my thoughts out of my head and spoke up. "Yes." I said. "Can I help you?"

The woman laughed, like an evil villain from a Disney movie. It was cold and I knew that something was wrong. I made a mental list of all the things I've don't to hurt people recently. _Oh, this could take a while. _"That's funny." She said. _I gathered that when you laughed_, I thought. "You have an interesting way of trying to help someone."

"Excuse me, but do I know you?" I was now beyond being nervous. I was irritated by the ignorance of whoever I was speaking to. If she wanted an argument, I had the right to know who it was.

There was a small pause. "No." She said with a grunt. "But you may know my husband. Mr Eric Northman." I felt my heart stop before it kicked up again and started beating furiously as my palms and forehead built a line of sweat. Questions filled my head. But I couldn't give my chance the answer any of them. I lost all my train of thought and I thought I was going to pass out. I thought of the best possible way to handle this situation. Lie.

"He's my professor." I said softly, not having the guts to say anything else.

"Hmmm, okay." She replied, with a sarcastic tone. I knew she didn't believe me. I mean, I had already been told numerous times before that I'm a terrible actress. And I don't being in a situation like this would make me suddenly become Natalie Portman. "Then tell me, Lauren. How come you were leaving your professors and my husband's house this morning? Well, my house I suppose if you talk technically."

_Oh fuck. _Don't tell me she was there. What if she seen...? "Who told you that?" I asked, trying to sound not the slightest bit worried. Like she had nothing against me. Like she didn't hold my life in her hands.

"I'm friendly with my neighbours, sweetheart." She said. "It comes in handy when you've got dirty sluts throwing themselves at your husband." My jaw clenched and I suddenly felt furious. I was being named called by a woman who was supposed to be 30 years old. I felt patronised and intimidated.

"You don't even know me." I replied.

She laughed the same horrid laugh, sending shivers up my spine. It was a sound I never wanted to hear again. "I know your kind." She stated. "You think you are the only one who has taken a fancy to Eric?" She asked. Of course not. Of course I wasn't the only one to flirt with him. What was I thinking? "Surprisingly, you are the only one who had ever gotten under his skin."

Words then just started spilling out of my mouth in defence. "We didn't do anything. I was just upset and my roommate and I got into a fight. I needed a friend. Nothing happened. You can trust him with that." I realised I sounded defensive, and completely in the wrong but I didn't know what else to say. There probably was nothing to say.

"What I trust my husband with is my business." She snapped, sounding so angry I moved the phone from my ear ever so slightly. "I'm not a jealous woman, but I most certainly am not an idiot. When an 18 year old girl stumbles out of my house at 7 in the morning I know exactly what happened."

I cringed and let out a breath. There was no use denying it now. She was not going to be swayed. Not when she had so much proof. "Was he worth risking your education, Lauren?" She asked. "I've never had a one night stand so I wouldn't know. Was the adrenaline that made you do it? I assume doing it with your teacher makes it even better."

I felt myself choking up, completely humiliated. I was disgusting, and I deserved every minute of this. But I wanted to fight back. To defend myself and the dignity I had left. "He told me you and him broke up."

Silence filled over the phone and I knew instantly I had said the wrong thing. "He told you what?" She asked quietly. It was the most quiet she had been the entire conversation. I repeated myself with suspicion and I heard her swear loudly. "Thanks for your honesty." She said and the phone went dead.

I stood in the street staring at the crowd ahead of me blankly. What just happened? What was going to happen next? Will I be kicked out of school? And what about Eric? I forced myself to stop crying and shoved my phone into my pocket. I couldn't let this risk what had happened with Damon tonight. This was not my problem. It was not my marriage, and it was not my fault. I wasn't going to hate myself for this. I shook my head and walked towards the bar, taking my seat and waited for Damon's return. Right now, he was the only thing that mattered.

**Hi hi again. It is taking me longer and longer to write chapters. Damn A Levels. Anywhooooooo, drama is a coming can't you see? I'm too lazy to proof read this so enjoy the spelling and word errors. It can be funny sometimes. I don't own anyone but Lauren cause she is all mine. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Something was different about this Monday morning. There was a tension in the air when I entered the room. And emptiness that was so apparent, it was like everyone had stopped for a moment just to check what was going on. I glimpsed up and saw a room full of confused, whispering students. I scanned the room for a place to sit, and my familiar area beside Jenny was the only place available. I stumbled over, and sat down as fast as possible, not daring to make any eye contact. I pulled out my notebook, and relaxed back into my chair, tapping the table repeatedly with my pen. Blissfully unaware of the gossip going on behind me.

"Can you be more oblivious?" I heard Jenny ask from beside me. I turned to face her, and raised an eyebrow in confusion. We hadn't spoken to each other sense our last fight, and she begins the conversation with a question that I wasn't sure if it was rhetorical.

"What?" I asked. She didn't reply. She just scoffed and turned herself back to her phone. I stared at her for a moment, completely mind fucked by her behaviour. I was about to follow her stubborn attitude when I heard a quiet whisper from a girl behind me.

'_I heard he was fucking someone in this classroom, and that's why he got fired.' _My mouth went dry and my pen tapping came to a halt. They had to be talking about someone else. They weren't talking about me and Eric, surely. His wife wouldn't have gone that far...would she? My mind raced and my breathing sped up. I needed to get out of here. _'She's a fucking slut, whoever she is. He was my favourite teacher and now we'll all fail.' _ I dropped my pen, and threw my notebook into my bag. I stood up, pushing my chair in, as it scratched loudly across the floor.

"Are you okay?" Jenny muttered, sounded concerned behind me. I turned to face her, and my throat caught. I couldn't speak. I didn't know what to say. She nodded to me like she knew what I was feeling. She understood. I turned away ready to run out of the room but I was too late.

"Sorry I'm late." A grey haired man, easily in his 50's entered the room carrying a briefcase and a scowl that reminded me of an old headmaster. "If everyone could please take their seats," he looked directly me and I shivered from head to toe, "we have a lot to discuss." I looked to Jenny and she pulled out my seat. I sat down, and ran a nervous hand through my hair. I didn't know what to do with myself, and I had no escape route. If people were already gossiping about why Eric was fired, then how long would it take them to find out I was involved. I felt Jenny grasp my hand with hers and give it a tight squeeze. I glanced at her and smiled, letting go of her hand, not wanting to make my emotions obvious. _Not wanting to make it obvious that I was the slut that got Eric fired. _

"As you have probably already noticed, your old professor Mr Northman has abruptly left the college and I have been asked to take his place, for the remainder of the semester." The old man told us. A number of people groaned and even more whispered. Someone, about 3 rows across from me, shot their hand into the air. "Save your questions to the end."

What could have possibly happened over night that made this happen? And why didn't Eric say anything? I am partially to blame...so shouldn't I be gone as well? I was snapped from my thoughts as the new professor continued to explain. "I do not know your previous professor, nor do I care do. I do not know why he left and neither do you. Listen to gossip and rumours as you may but the only ones that know the truth are Mr Northman and head of the college." _And me, the slut._

"The only thing I am concerned about is your knowledge on History and me doing my job. That does not include answering petty questions about past teacher affairs." The entire room was silent, although I heard someone gasp. "Does anyone still have a relevant question to ask?" Not one hand moved. Glad to know the only thing people care about is sex. "Very well. Let us continue."

The next hour and a half dragged in. I stared at the clock, counting the minutes as my heart raced and sweat built on my forehead. I needed answers. And I couldn't get them from sitting in this stupid classroom. The bell rang loudly waking me up from my day dream. I practically sprinted out of the classroom, ignoring Jenny's obvious call from behind me. I turned the corner, into the next corridor, making sure I had a quiet place. The last thing I needed was people overhearing this conversation.

I lifted out my phone with shaky hands and dialled Eric's number, nervously placing the device to my ear. I waited for what seemed forever before he answered. "Hello?" His voice was husky and low. It sounded like he had either been crying or drinking. My guess was both.

I didn't know what a good opening sentence was. So I just blurted out whatever was on my mind. _Everything. _"Why the fuck didn't you call me to let me know you'd been fired? Didn't you think walking into the rumour filled lecture room would have affected me? Did you not think about how awkward I would feel sitting lessoning to people gossip about me? Or did you forget that I was even involved?" I said in one breath. "Are you okay?"

He made a sound that resembled a laugh, but also a cry. He sounded in pain. _Oh God...what if his wife hired an assassin to beat him half to death? _"I'm..." He paused. "I've been better." I winced at his comment, feeling the hurt through the landline. "And I wasn't fired. I quit." He corrected me. My eyes widened in shock and I held the phone closer to my ear to be sure I was hearing correctly.

"Why would you do that?" I asked, desperately wanting to know his reasoning. What would cause him to leave in such fashion, knowing he'd leave behind questions from his students? Questions they'd answer for themselves.

He sighed loudly, sounding exhausted. I wondered if he slept at all last night. Or if his wife called him straight after she called me. Or worse, if the school called him after she called me. "Because she was blackmailing me and I want going to spend the rest of my life under her control." He snapped the last few words. "I did that our whole fucking marriage."

I frowned, and gave him a few minutes to father his thoughts. "What exactly was she getting from the blackmailing?" Obviously she said she'd turn him in if he didn't do what she wanted. But what did she want? Other than his faithfulness...

"The one thing she wants more than anything in the world." He laughed, but it sounded harsh and frightening. He didn't sound stable at all. "A baby." I swallowed at his response. Of course. She could get the one thing that was tearing them apart from his mistake. She was trying to turn a situation where she lost into one where she won. "I wasn't going to bring a child into this fucked up shit hole with her." He swore loudly. "I may be unfaithful but I'm not a monster."

I didn't know what to say to him. I had ruined his life. I ruined his marriage and now his job. Maybe Nate was right. Ever since I came here, everything just started to get worse for everyone. "I'm sorry." I breathed, although it was hardly enough. But it was the only words I could use to sum up my emotions.

There was a long pause between us and I felt a tear roll down my right cheek. I wiped it quickly before anyone noticed, even though the corridor was empty. I sniffed loudly, and cleared my throat. I shouldn't be the one crying. I wasn't the one who got everything taken from me. "Don't be." He said. "It isn't your fault."

I wanted to slap him. How could it not be my fault? I came to his house, drunk, wet and horny. I tried to seduce him because I was lonely, despite the fact I knew about his circumstances. I chose to go to his house, and all he did was provide me with hospitality. Yet he is the one suffering. How does that happen? And how is that fair?

"Yes, it is." I heard him try to interrupt to I continued before he got the chance. "You wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for me. I'm a dirty slut and I seduced you, and took advantage of you." I whimpered. "There should be a law against that, and I should go to jail." He laughed and I wiped my eyes again, tears starting to stain my shirt.

"Last time I checked, I am the adult that willingly let you into my house, and willingly took you again my wall." The memory flickered in my mind and I bit my lip at his description of being 'taken.' "You may have participated, but I should have stopped it." He defended me, and I wanted to shake him but I knew he wouldn't listen. "You are a young girl, who is allowed to follow your desires and impulses. I am a 30 year old married man that should know how to control myself." He emphasised the last sentence, trying to remind me of how wrong the decisions we made were. "I was the one in the wrong, not you."

I let out a cry when he finished and I could have swore I heard him mumble 'don't cry' on the other end of the phone. But I could stop. The tears kept running and I didn't know if it was because of Eric, or because of everything that had built up. Everything was just coming out at once. I heard a door open down the hall and I pulled myself together quickly. "Sorry." I muttered quickly.

"I'd like to see you." He said quietly, like he sensed my nervousness of someone overhearing. I stayed silent, waiting for him to continue...to explain why he wanted to see me. Especially after everything that had happened. "I...I mean, I'm feeling really fucking shit at the minute and I need a drink." He laughed. "Actually, I don't need a drink but I want one. Do you think we can meet at the bar we went to last time?" He asked and I could hear the hesitation in his voice.

I nibbled on my lip and wiped the last tear from my eye. "I guess." I didn't know if meeting him would be the right thing. _Not with Damon and me finally on good terms. _"After everything I've did to you, of course I'll come and meet you." I fixed my hair in the window and looked up the hall to find Jenny waiting. "What time?" I asked, wanting to end the conversation fast.

"Nine?" He asked and I agreed. "I'll meet you there. Just to avoid any...speculation." _People are already speculating, _I thought.I said goodbye, and ended the phone call. I scurried up the corridor towards the blonde waiting. I didn't know why she would care enough to wait, but I wasn't going to leave her standing on her own.

When I reached her, I noticed she looked as worried as I felt. I couldn't help but feel a hint of warmth from her, even after everything we've been through. "Was that Mr Northman? What did she say?" She asked, biting on her fingernails. "Are you okay?" She repeated for the second time today. _I was beginning to feel like she cared. Crazy. _

"He quit." It was all I managed to get out. She pulled me into a hug, gripping me so tightly that I couldn't move from shock. Was this really the same girl I had gotten into a fight with not so long ago? "I'm fine." I assured her. "But he wants to see me tonight."

She let go automatically, looking at me like I'd lost my mind for even mentioning the idea. "Why?" She asked, but then continued to ask more questions. "Isn't he worried about his reputation? What did you say?"

I didn't know what question to answer first. I felt more overwhelmed now than I did when I took my SATs. "He said he's lonely." I explained. "I kind of owe it to him. All he wants is a friend, Jenny. So I'm going to go." She frowned at my answer. "If you think about it, I'm getting of lightly."

"It's not your fault." She said. I wish people would stop telling me that. I don't know how they can possibly come to that conclusion after everything that's happened. Last time I checked it takes two people to engage in intercourse. "I know you don't expect me to say this. But you are the innocent one in this situation."

"I don't agree but I guess I should be thankful you aren't blaming me." I settled. She laughed and tugged me to single we get out of here before more hideous rumours come into play. Last thing I want is Jenny getting involved in it all. _Lets ruin one person's life at a time. _"Will you come with me?" I asked, causing her eyes to widen in confusion. "Well, not with me. But...can you be there. In the bar. With Nate or something. Just so I can count on you, if I need you."

She stared at me for a moment, collecting her thoughts and outweighing the decision. I don't know why I thought her being there would make me feel better. But I just didn't want to be on my own. She nodded and started to walk towards the entrance. I followed her quietly. Not knowing what to say now we've discussed what brought us back to talking again.

"Jenny," I started, and she looked at me blankly. "I'm sorry." Like with Eric, it was the only thing I could think to say to sum up my feelings. I guess I'm just not one for apologies. She smiled and shook her head, whilst she continued to walk.

"Don't worry about it." She said and we walked out the door, heading home to get ready for the night ahead of us.

It was just before 9 when we arrived at the bar. Jenny had told Nate to meet her there also. She said it was because he was working, but I knew it was before of the argument we had yesterday. Not that I minded. I didn't really want to run into him either. We walked into the dark bar, and I noticed Eric sitting at a table in the far corner. I squeezed Jenny's hand and we separated as I headed over to him, trying to look as composed as possible.

When I reached the table I noticed his glass was empty and he was so spaced out he didn't even notice I was standing in front of him. I slid into the seat beside him and smiled. He looked up at me and gave me a half grin, pushing the hair out of his face. He looked exhausted, and my theory on the tears was definitely true. His eyes were red and his face was blotchy. I chose to ignore it. I was here to comfort him, not to analyse.

"You look nice." Eric commented. "A lot better than me anyways." He laughed, sounding angry at himself. He lifted his glass to take a drink, but noticed it was empty and dropped it back down onto the table. "Thanks for coming." He smiled, and it looked genuine. "It means a lot."

I nodded and set my bag down beside me, turning to face him, not wanting to look distant even though I felt it. "It's the least I could do." I looked down at my hands and decided a drink would probably make this situation a whole lot better. "I'm going to the bar." I stood up and Eric lifted his glass and shook it, signally he wanted a refill. It probably wasn't the best idea. But it wasn't my place to deny him whatever was making him feel better.

When I returned to the table he was sitting him straight and looked a lot more approachable. I could tell he was trying to make an effort and I couldn't help but smile. Despite everything he's been through, he is still staying a gentleman. He gulped on his scotch before returning his attention to me. "This is so fucked up." He groaned. "I am a man in a mid life crisis."

I laughed and set my drink on the table. "You are 30; I wouldn't say it's a mid life." I shimmied closer to him because the music was making it difficult to hear. _Or I was just using that as an excuse. _"What are you doing to do now?"

He took another large gulp of his drink, and stared into the distance. After a few moments of silence he turned to face me for the first time and I noticed the hurt, confusion and pain in his eyes. It was making this whole not blaming myself thing ten times as difficult as it was before. "I'm moving out." He started. "And I think I'm going to go to Jersey. There is an opening for a job there."

I didn't know that to think. He was moving away because of a stupid mistake. He has had to uproot his life and start over because of one stupid, passionate night. I stroke his arm and he finished his drink. "I'm sorry."

"You need to stop saying that." He smiled and I returned the gesture. "I need another one of these. Be right back." I nodded and looked back at Jenny who was sitting with Nate, Chuck, Dan and two girls I didn't recognise. She automatically noticed my glance and looked up, tilting her head as if to ask how I am. I shrugged and turned back in my seat. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I lifted it out and swore when I saw Damon's name on the screen. I clicked ignore and slid it back into my bag when Eric returned with two scotches, both evidently for himself.

An hour past on and Eric has successfully managed to completely open himself up, probably without meaning to. He told me about how his wife was the cheer captain in high school, and he thinks he need for control spiralled from always getting what she wanted back when she was a teenager. _Including him, apparently._ He spoke about his career, and how he didn't want to live in New York but he did it for them, turning down the offer he got from UCLA years ago. He said he would have preferred to have worked there because he lives for the sun.

I didn't really get much of a say in the conversation, and I was fine with that because I didn't know what I would say. I nodded, gave the odd appreciative head tilt and squeezed his arm ever 10 minutes. After he finished the last drop of his scotch he relaxed his head against the back of the chair, and the stretching of his neck muscles got me excited in ways it probably shouldn't. Not now anyways.

"Is that your friend?" He asked looking over his shoulder, squinting his eyes. Obviously the alcohol has affected his eyesight.

"What?" I asked, snapping my head to find Jenny sitting on Nate's lap, looking like she was whispering the filthiest things in his ear. Part of me wanted what they had, but then I remembered I was mad at Nate. Eric let out at small laugh and turned back to the table, shaking his empty glass in his hand.

"Jenny, right?" He questioned. "She sits beside you in class." I pondered on what way to answer his question without sounding like I lugged my friend along with me for support because I couldn't be alone with him. It wasn't like that. _Not at all. _

I bit my lip, trying to act as though I was thinking. I probably looked more like I was terrified than in thought. "Oh, yeah." I said, pretending to have some sudden realization. "It looks like it. I wonder what she is doing here." I sipped on my drink quietly, not giving him any eye contact but I could feel his eyes boring into me.

"I wonder." He smirked and titled his head, smiling. He paused for a moment, contemplating whether he should say what he was thinking. After a number of seconds he finally gave in. "If you want to invite her over, you can." He said to my surprise, causing my eyes to widen. I don't know why he thought this was a good idea. "I'm not your teacher anymore you know." He said with a wink and walked towards the bar.

It took me a moment to gather what had just happened. Either he was drunk, which wouldn't be surprising after how much he has drunk in the past hour. Or this is some type of sick revenge has secretly planned because I made him lose his job. I shook my thoughts from my head made my way over to Jenny to invite her over. I already knew what she'd say. She'd think it would be a bad idea, _which it would, _and tell me to stop drinking before I do something stupid.

"What are you doing over here?" Jenny asked, taking her lips of Nate's neck. "Eric could see. Go away!"

I laughed loudly. Did she really think I would come over if Eric didn't already know she was here? I really did question her belief in me. Though I couldn't blame her. "He already knows you are here." I told her to which her mouth dropped open, like she had failed some task. "He asked if you wanted to come and sit with us."

She stared at me blankly, and then looked back at Nate. I raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. I grabbed her hand, impatiently pulling her upwards and walking towards the table. I looked behind me to see if she was protesting, but instead she was pulling Nate along with her while he was swallowing the last of his drink.

When we reached the table Eric was coming towards us, balancing three drinks in his hand. _If one of those is for me I'll be naked on the floor by the end of the night. _Jenny squeezed my hand and leant towards me to whisper in my ear. "He looks like a Viking out of his suit." I laughed. "Very hot."

Nate and Eric exchanged handshakes or something manly like that before sliding into the booth. Jenny mumbled nervously and tried to make a joke about an assignment he had given us before he left. I rubbed my forehead in frustration. I sat down beside Eric and he immediately threw his arm behind me, like it was a reflex. I raised my eyebrows at Jenny but she just shrugged her shoulders like it was no big deal. I sipped on my drink slowly, not wanting to devour it although my body was craving it to get rid of the anxiety.

"I'm sorry about the other day." Nate chirped up from beside Jenny. "I didn't mean what I said." I nodded and looked down at the table. "I was just defending my girlfriend, you know? I actually think you're pretty cool." I smiled at Nate's complete honesty. How I was mad at him the other day, I do not know. He has this face that is impossible to be mad at.

"I understand." I replied. "All is forgiven."

He nodded before pulling Jenny to sit closer to him. If that was even possible. I looked over to the blonde, drunk man beside me to find him staring and smiling. "What are you smiling at?" I asked. He shook his head and took a gulp from his glass. I was about to question his weird behaviour further when I seen his eyes widen, looking towards the entrance. I snapped my vision to keep in line with his and nearly choked at what I saw.

Damon and Edward were making their way in. And Damon looked angrier than he did the night he found out about everything. "Oh, fuck." I said my only thoughts out loud. Jenny turned round, confused at my outburst. Her head snapped back to quickly it was like she was the exorcist. She looked more terrified than I did. I turned to face Eric. "I...I have to go... talk to him. I can't-"

"It's okay." Eric patted me on the shoulder and nodded towards the direction I had to go. "I'll be here if you need me." I smiled then exchanged a worried glance with Jenny. She looked like she was about to crap herself, and was desperately clinging onto Nate's arm while he seemed oblivious to everything going on.

I fixed my hair nervously and headed towards Damon, who was standing at the bar, but scanning the entire place like he was looking for someone. When I was a metre or so away from him he finally caught my eyes. I smiled, sweetly at him but instead I got a nasty frown that chilled me to the bone. "Hi, you. What are you doing here?" I asked when I was finally in front of him.

He stared at me for a moment, causing me to breathe out loudly. _Those eyes will kill me one day. _He bent down to my level, resting his mouth besides my ear. He brushed my hair away and I shivered from head to toe. "I know." Those were the only two words he said, and suddenly his mouth was gone and I felt nauseous.

"Wa-wa...what?" I stammered like an idiot.

He lifted the drink the bartender had just left in front of him before taking one quick chug. "I know you fucked your professor." He snarled before walking off. My heart stopped and I felt light headed. How could he have possibly found out? _If it was Nate, I will fucking kill him, _I thought.

I looked back over at the table with numbness in my chest. Edward was sat beside him, and Eric was staring at me with a look that just made me want to run into traffic. I ordered another drink before heading back to the table, gripping onto the glass as I tried to compose myself. I sat back down beside Eric and thanked God as Jenny had already started a conversation so everything wouldn't be awkward.

I didn't know where to look. Nate was staring into space; Edward was looking at Damon while both Eric and Damon were staring at me. I looked up and caught the angry mans blue eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows and gave him a look that was begging for forgiveness, begging for him to understand. Or at least listen to me. He just looked away, drinking his scotch and stared at the blonde beside me.

"I don't think I know you." Damon said, interrupting Jenny. She turned to glare at him, and I could tell she was ready to protest, whether it is for herself or to defend me, I was unsure. I didn't know what he was getting at, because of course he knew Eric. He'd met him before. Or is his memory that bad?

Eric sat up from his relaxed position, pushing some hair from his stubbly face. "You do." He said, correctly him. "We met one night I was out with Lauren. You had some brunette with you." Damon didn't flinch. He knew exactly who he was talking to and he wasn't happy about it. I tapped my foot nervously and looked over to Jenny who was whispering in Nate's ear, probably informing him of what was going on.

"I always have a brunette with me." Damon said without any expression. My heart flinched at little at his remark. I thought things had changed, and I didn't want some stupid night of wild sex to come between us.

Eric snorted and looked at me. I didn't bother returning his gaze, just continuing to stare at Damon. "You were also pretty ignorant if I remember." My stomach dropped, wishing he didn't say that. It was only going to anger Damon more. "You probably don't remember because it just seems natural to be a dick, right?"

I nudged Eric in the side and he glanced down at me again. I continued to ignore him. Damon finished his drink quickly and leant forward, leaning his elbows on his table in a dominant manner. "Lauren doesn't seem to mind." He finally looked at me and I felt my insides being pierced repeatedly. "I didn't have to get her drunk to get her into my bed."

"Damon-." I tried to reply because he interrupted me soon after.

"And I'm not her teacher so I couldn't go to jail for being a pervert." He snapped out with a smirk. I felt Eric jump up beside me and the table jerked slightly with Jenny's wine glass tumbling over. She turned round with shocked eyes and decided to intervene, pulling at Damon while I stood motionless.

"Say it again." Eric gritted through his teeth as his jaw tightened. He pushed me out of the way and got from behind the table until him and Damon's proximity was so close I could feel the testosterone bouncing of both of them. "Go on."

Damon smirked and looked at me. I shook my head, desperate for him to back down and be the better man. "I didn't mean to hurt your pride." He said raising his hands as if to calm the situation. "Just like you didn't mean to fuck your student."

It all happened fast after then. Eric's head came crashing into Damon's so fast that I didn't even hear Jenny's scream. I saw a chair tumbling over as Damon's fist clashed against Eric's jaw. As I ran towards them both to stop it, Nate was beside me within a second, pulling me away. I fought his grip but I was too weak. Too terrified to even do anything. I watched as Edward pulled Damon back, with so much strength that I didn't even know he had. Someone, I'm not sure who, shouted about someone being a cunt. I winched at the vulgarity of the word. A bouncer appeared behind Eric and tugged him backwards, muttering about going out the back entrance.

When he reached me, I grabbed his hand for support but he shook his head and before I knew it he was being flung out the back door. I turned back towards the scene of the fight to notice Damon being pushed out the front by another bouncer, and Edward who was squeezing his arm and rubbing his back. I blinked momentarily, feeling a tear drop roll down my cheek and then Jenny was in front of me asking if I was alright.

I nodded and pushed past her, desperate to get outside to talk to Damon. "I have to..." She understood and walked over to Nate, getting him a slight hug. Or a kiss. I wasn't sure as my vision was suddenly blurred, either by the tears or because of the fight. When I reached outside the wind hit me, almost knocking me of my feet. I looked around and I noticed Edward holding Damon as he swore violently and held onto his jaw. I took a breath and walked towards them.

"Are you okay?" I murmured causing them both to look at me. Damon had venom in his eyes and it made me feel sick, like acid was boiling in my stomach. Edward mumbled something and walked away but I didn't notice, as I was completely hypnotised by Damon's stare.

We stood for a moment and I shuffled, losing balance. I looked back at him and he was still gawking at me. "How is your jaw?" I asked and he took his hand off the side of his face immediately, as if he was embarrassed and seen it as a sign of weakness. He didn't reply, but pulled out a packet of cigarettes from his jacket. _I didn't even know he smoked. _

"Look, Damon...I-"

"I don't want to hear it." He said quietly. My eyes widened and my mouth opened slightly, as I inhaled the air suddenly needing more to breath. I furrowed my eyebrows, not understanding what he meant. "You don't need to explain yourself."

He took a drag of his cigarette, and then another before putting it out with his foot. "You aren't mad at me?" I asked, confused. "Because in there-"

"I punched your professor because he is a fucking pervert." He said looking at me for the first time in minutes. I opened my mouth to speak but then closed it again and nodded. I wasn't going to argue with what he believed. "He took advantage of you and if you can't see than then you're an idiot."

I nodded again even though it wasn't true. He had obviously only heard half of the story, and that was all it took for him to be convinced. "It was a mistake." I told him, because that part was true. It was something that I regret, especially after everything it has caused. "It was the night we-"

"I don't need the details." He interrupted, pulling out another cigarette and lighting it again. He looked around him before settling his gaze on me. He inhaled, looking disgusting, throwing the cigarette to the ground not bothering to stand on it. So I did it for him. We stood in silence, unaware what the other was thinking. I didn't want to ask him. Because I didn't want to be hurt again. "Can you get Edward for me? We have somewhere to be."

I looked at him, wanting more of an explanation but it was evident that he wasn't going to give me one. So I turned to leave, before deciding to ask before I didn't have the chance. "Are we okay?" I said quietly. But it caught his attention enough for him to look at me. "I mean, is it over? Me and you."

He stared blankly for a minute, fumbling with the pocket of his jacket, probably looking for another cigarette. He gave up and took a deep breath. "You can't end what never really started, Lauren." I bit my lip at his response, hoping it was some defence mechanism and not the truth. But he didn't look like he wanted to hurt me. He looked more hurt than I did. "I just think it's best we move on." He looked at me and I frowned, looking down, trying to hold in the tears.

"We can never seem to last past a day." He half laughed, not because it was funny but because it was a sad truth. Something always ended up coming between us. "Sorry." He mumbled and looked away one last time. I nodded even though he couldn't see me and headed back into the bar to look for Edward.

I didn't have to look far as he was standing at the edge of the bar, waiting anxiously. "Is he alright?" He asked quickly.

"Yeah." I half choked, trying to regain my strength and compose myself so the tears didn't just rush out of me. "He is waiting for you." I walked past him, to head towards Jenny before he stopped me abruptly.

"I think it was Katherine." He told me, catching my attention. I turned back to face him, my cheeks flaring red a little. _If that stupid slut is the reason this happened..._ "I think she is the one that told him." Of course she did. "Apparently she heard it from someone in your History class. Some guy she was sleeping with." He shrugged.

I nodded, accepting it because what else could I have done? It's all over now so there was no point in hating her for it. "Thanks." I said and he rushed out of the bar, to his friend waiting outside. I walked towards my only friends waiting for me and was immediately embraced my Jenny. She stroked the back of my head as my arms lay limp, unable to do anything.

"It's going to be okay." She whispered repeatedly into my ear. I looked up at Nate and he half smiled, walking towards me as he squeezed my arm then headed somewhere behind me. _Probably to Damon. He is his friend too. _I wrapped my arms around the small waist in front of me and quietly sobbed into her neck.

"What am I going to do?" I cried like some pathetic person that had nothing left to live for. "What am I supposed to do?"

She pulled away from me for a second to look at me, pushing my hair out of my face, she smiled. "Adapt. You just have to adapt." And she was back to holding me again. I let out another sob. I didn't know how I was supposed to adapt to the current circumstances but I knew it was my only option. I had to accept all the mistakes I had made, and learn from them. Maybe it could make things better in the long run.

**Hello, it's been a while yadayadayada. There's only one chapter after this...I think. So, yeah. And I didn't proof read so enjoy the errors. I don't own anyone except for Lauren.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_3 months later_

It was a chilly late February morning in New York, and I was sitting in the back row of my last Creative Writing class before half term quietly taking notes and texting Jenny. The sour faced girl beside me kept rolling her eyes at me every time my phone buzzed on the table. _I'd purposely set it on vibrate just to piss her off. _It wasn't that I was getting loads of texts, but Jenny had this need to send three messages in one go, instead of fitting it all in one text.

I was tempted to switch my phone off and ignore her, but she has a reason to be so eagerly texting me. It was her birthday tomorrow night and she hadn't planned anything. At the rate we were going it would be another awkward night of watching 'LOST' with just the two of us and Nate.

When the texts had stopped for five minutes, I took this as the signal to start listening to my teacher again. I started writing dangerously fast, and I could have sworn I heard the lemon beside me scoff and mumble something into her fancy notebook. Writers can be such idiots.

Just as I had gotten deep into the topic of 'script writing' my phone buzzed so violently it nearly dropped off the table. I felt a number of faces around me give me a glance, and it wasn't until then that I noticed Edward two rows away frowning at me. I gave him a half smile and he turned round to face the front again. _Ignorant asshole._

I lifted my phone to silence it when I noticed the one missed call from Jenny. Why was she ringing me? She knows I am in class. Seconds later my phone buzzed again with a text from her.

'_Can U ring me ASAP? Damon said I can use his house 4 my bday.'_

My stomach tightened at his name. It was like lights were flashing around it and some irritating noise was going off in my head to remind me of mine and his current situation. The truth is, over the past two months, Damon and I have seen each other twice, although both of us would have preferred zero times. But we live in the same area, and spend time with the same people. Although, after our last run in, Damon made it his mission to make new friends. Ones that I didn't know.

That's why I am surprised he is so willing to let Jenny use his apartment. Surely he knows that means I will be there. The bell rang loudly snapping me back into reality and I threw everything into my back, and pounced down the stairs, colliding into a stern faced Edward on the way down. "Sorry." I mumbled but he just pushed past me.

Ignoring what just happened; I burst through the doors and dialled Jenny's number quickly into my phone. By the time she answered (she was probably making out with Nate) I was already outside and half way to Starbucks. "Hey?" She asked sounding awfully calm.

"Why is Damon letting you use his apartment?" I asked instantly, wanting to get straight to the point rather than clouding round the edges.

"I don't know. Maybe because I'm his sister." She said rudely. As if I would have forgotten that. "I haven't seen him in ages, and I asked and he was willing. What's the big deal?"

It's like she doesn't listen to anything I tell her. I told her about the tragically awkward events at the anti-valentine's day party and yet she still thinks that Damon and I are 'chill' as she would say, after many drinks. "He hates me."

"No, he doesn't." She sighed, as if getting ready to explain some long ordeal to me. "Damon is a complex individual. He loves like he hates and he hates like he loves. I'd blame a bad upbringing, but he practically grew up with me." _She really is reminding me she is his sister today, isn't she?_

"So he has deep rooted family issues?" I asked, annoyed by her sarcastic tone.

"No." She repeated sounded offended and I tried my best not to laugh at her. She could sound like a stern parent when she wanted too. Like she was telling me off for doing something wrong. "You hurt him, Lauren. He tried to open up to you-"

"That's not fair." I interrupted her, not wanting her to get into topic of the party. It just makes me feel like an idiot and I know what she is going to say. I can practically hear her voice in my head, telling me that Damon is 'difficult to connect to' and that 'he has trust issues.' What is that even supposed to mean? Don't we all have trust issues?

"He told you that he loved you and you ran away." She reminded me, the night flashing back into my mind like a cold vision

"_Excuse me do you know where the bathroom is?" I asked a blonde haired girl with a body-con dress on up to the top of her thigh. There was a reason I didn't come to these sort of parties, the ones with the single people, but when Jenny heard from one of Nate's friends that it was happening, she practically pushed me out the door._

"_Straight forward." The model looking girl replied. I nodded and made my way towards the closed door at the end of the hall. I reached the door and tried to opening it, but it was locked. I sighed and leant against the wall, closing my eyes and wondered why on earth I didn't drink anything tonight._

_Just as I had relaxed I heard the door open and a girlish laugh come from beside me. I opened my eyes to find a smirking Katherine beside me with her right hand on her hip and a dark clothes man behind her. It was Damon. I stood up straight instantly and my first thought was to run into the bathroom and hide._

"_Bit desperate for you to come here." Katherine laughed and I felt Damon's eyes burn into my skin, but I never made contact with them. "Is it that hard for you to get laid?"_

_I went to defend myself when Damon mumbled something into her ear and she gave him a nasty look before stalking away. I stood awkwardly for a moment, clinging onto the doorframe for dear life. I then decided to say the most awkward thing I could._

"_There are an awful lot of single people here." What the fuck, Lauren?_

_Damon narrowed his eyes at me and walked towards the other side of the door, leaning against it and looking down at me. "That would be the point." He said before smiling slightly. I nervously took a small step back, but he noticed and turned to face me. "But I'm glad you are still single." My heart jumped slightly. "I don't care how selfish that makes me."_

_I bit my lip before replying, dancing my feet one over the other. "That makes two of us." I said before thinking I had already made up my mind, not asking if he's even single. "You are single, right?"_

_He laughed a little, but it wasn't the sweet kind. It almost sounded predatory. But still hot. He took another step towards me, or else I was leaning in closer to him. Whichever it was, I felt like my skin was on fire. "Am I ever not?"_

_I nodded and looked down, stepping up from the wall, trying to make some distance. I didn't like the uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what was going on. No matter how nice it was to be talking to him. "Damon-"_

"_No, let me talk." He stood up and put his hands in his pockets. For a second I thought he was going to pull out a gun or something. I nodded and he ran a hand through his hair, before putting it back in his pocket. "I've been thinking a lot recently. About you and Eric-"_

"_Nothing is going on between me and Eric." I told him honestly, I hadn't even spoken to Eric sense he ran out of the bar. "There never was anything with him. Nothing as important as you." I swallowed loudly trying to get rid of the lump in my throat. _

_Damon smiled and stepped forward, touching my cheek lightly, brushing my hair behind my ear. I had to try so hard not to lean into his grasp. "I wasn't thinking about that." I mouthed an 'Oh' and urged him to continue, wanting him to explain what he meant. "I was thinking about my feelings. And how I need to stop shoving them away every time something goes wrong."_

_I was trying not to nod in agreement so much my head was going to fall off my shoulders. I had wanted to hear him say this for months now. "What does that mean?" I asked, needing him to explain what this meant._

_He took a minute to think through what he was going to say. "It means I love you and I'm sorry for being a dickhead." I did not expect that. "I have a tendesey to do that." He smiled and nervously fiddled with his hands, staring at me. I felt so isolated that the sweat on the back of my neck started to build more and more, and I could literally feel the pulse in my throat beat through my skin._

"_I-I..I" I stumbled so much that my throat started to crack. I sighed and ran a hand over my forehead. I wanted to cry. I wanted to break into a run. I wanted to slap him for putting me under this pressure. How am I supposed to know what mean feelings are when he has spent so long hiding his? This wasn't fair. What did he expect from me?_

"_I'm sorry." He said emotionless. "Did I say something wrong?"_

"_NO!" I burst out in a frantic hurry. Just because I couldn't say what I wanted didn't mean I wasn't going to say something. "I just need a second to think." I told him and he tightened his mouth closed in front of me. _

"_I didn't realise there was something to think about." He bit out and I could hear the venom in his voice. He wasn't happy and now I really wanted to cry. I wanted to pull onto him and tell him how much I cared about him, but that word seemed to foreign and I couldn't say it. Not now, not after everything that's happened. How does he know he loves me when he hasn't even had me?_

"_Damon," I sighed, reaching out to touch him but he stepped back. I groaned and stepped further away from the wall. "I don't know what you want me to say."_

_He laughed loudly and punched the wall. I heard his knuckles crack loudly off the surface but he didn't even flinch. His eyes were dark with anger and I knew no matter what I said now, I had screwed our only chance up. "How about what you fucking feel."_

"_I care about you." I started, making sure the carefully articulate my words, not wanting to make a fool of myself. "I do. I care about you, Damon. You have to know that. But love you? How am I supposed to know what love is when all we've done is treat each other with hate." I felt my eyes building with water but I tilted my head towards the light, desperately trying to hold it in. "How can I love you when I hate myself for the way I treated you?"_

_He watched me for a minute, looking unsure of what to do. Maybe it was because he could see the tears forming. Or he believed what I was saying. He straightened up before speaking again, looking like the Damon I knew before. "I don't know, Lauren. How about you come and find me when you fucking work that out?" And he stormed down the hall. I didn't even bother to run after him, knowing that if had have tried I would have made it worse, like I always do._

"He was the one that walked away." I reminded her, the vision still imprinted in my mind. I don't think it will ever go away. "I wasn't about to chase after him."

"You don't think he deserved at least that for being so open with you?" She asked me, constantly reminding me of all the things that made me feel like a bad person. Sometimes I think she forgets she is my best friend, and it's her job to make me feel better.

I sighed and decided to skip Starbucks and just make my way home, suddenly not in the mood to be in anyone's company. I quickly jumped in a taxi, and relaxed against the seat. "I know I've hurt him Jenny." I told her quietly. "I just want to know why after how much I hurt him he'd want to be in my company."

I heard her sigh from the other end of the phone, sounding upset about the entire situation. I think she really does just want the best for both of us. "Maybe he just wants to make happy. And you being there would make me happy."

"Okay." I accepted what she said; not wanting to question more even though I knew that couldn't be the only reason. Damon was never one to put anyone but himself first. _Except for when he did and I turned him down. _"It's very nice of him."

She 'mhmed' down the phone and directed us of the topic of Damon, which I was awfully thankful for. "And anyways, you'll be too preoccupied with Jason to care about Damon." She reminded me. Jason was a very attracted, LA looking boy that I met during one of my trips to Starbucks on the way home from school. He works there and I just happened to get a free latte out of it, so Jenny said he was a keeper.

"Don't you think it's a bit ignorant to bring him?" I didn't want to rub a guy in Damon's face. Not one that looked like Jason. "I'm already in the dog house."

"Oh, please." She started. "You two need to move on. And Damon will have a girl there for him, believe me. You have nothing to feel guilty for when it comes to the opposite sex." _The girl will probably be Katherine, _I thought. He knows that would hurt me. And I deserve it.

"I guess so." I replied, the taxi pulling up outside the flats and I paid, jumping out quickly. "Are you home? I'll be up in a minute."

"I'm at Nate's." Like always, I thought. "And afterwards we're going to the bar. You should come." I declined the invite and ended the phone call. Seeing Damon once this week was enough to be anxious about. I didn't need to force myself into another situation like that. As much as I wanted too.

The next day came far too quickly, waking up at eight in the morning by a large pillow smacking me across the head. My eyes snapped open at the shock, fearing for my life for second. But it was just Jenny, standing by the end of the bed, looking down at me with excitement. _Oh yeah, it's her birthday. _

"Happy Birthday," I groaned, suffocating myself with the pillow that she threw at me. "Can you get away from my bed please?"

She rolled her eyes at me and grabbed the blanket, removing it completely from my body. I kicked my legs out, attempting to hit her, but I missed by a large amount. I made a noise that could not be classified as human and sat up in the bed, crossing my legs and running a hand through my hair. "Are you forgetting something?"

I laughed, knowing instantly that she was referring to her present. I shook my head, and bent over to reach under the bed for her present. I wasn't one for good hiding places, I have to admit. Once the badly wrapped gift was in my hand, I tossed it over to her and she giddily jumped onto my bed and began to unwrap.

I watched in anticipation, hoping to God she would like it or we could be having a very award evening together. I was jolted from my thoughts when she let out a half scream/half cry and bounced on me. _It was far too early in the morning for this. _"How did you know I wanted this?" She asked, still on top of me. If Nate walked in right now he'd be awfully happy.

"Nate told me Metallica had sold out and you were upset," I started, laughing at the joy in her eyes. She was like a little girl on Christmas morning with her brand new Barbie play house. "And someone who works in the box office is in my creative writing class."

"Who is he?" She begged, jumping off the bed. If she didn't stop moving so fast I was going to have a seizure. "I will sleep with the man." I burst out laughing, hoping that she was kidding but I was pretty sure she was, because she exclaimed about needing to ring Nate.

"Do I win the best present award?" I gloated in my success, throwing the blanket off and attempting to get out of bed. I don't even think she was listening to me, as she bounced up and down on the spot. "Do I get a badge?"

"No. But you get to accompany me to my awesome birthday party tonight." I don't know how that was supposed to benefit me, considering it is probably going to be the most awkward night of my life but I faked a 'yay' and she seemed to buy it. I walked to the kitchen and turned on the kettle, not realising it was already past two in the afternoon. Oh well, we have a whole night to get through. Might as well have built up my hours.

The door knocked loudly and I turned round to watch Jenny run to it in a hurry, with her phone glued to her ear. She opened it to find a handsome delivery boy with a bunch of flowers in his hand and a giant card that had 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENNY' on it. I was hiding my jealously behind a mug of coffee.

Jenny didn't hide her emotions though, practically slamming the door in the poor man's face. "Oh my God," she repeated numerous times, tearing the card open and letting out another scream. "It's from Nate." _Of course it was, _I thought. She glanced at the card once and then read it out loud, even though I didn't ask to hear it. "Happy Birthday my beautiful, Jenny. I searched high and low for a present that could symbolise how much you mean to me. But I realised the world isn't that advance yet, so here is a bunch of flowers. Love, always, Nate."

I couldn't help it but I actually 'awwed.' Nate really did know how to charm a girl. _Why didn't Damon send cards like that? _Wait, what? "You are a lucky girl." I told her, smiling.

"And that isn't even my main present." She replied, and I raised an eyebrow in confusion. How did she know that? Was she expected more? "The best part comes in bed tonight." Oh, she was implying his penis was the present. Well, isn't that young love?

"Gross." I replied and headed for the shower. Even when I closed the door I could still hear her screaming. I just prayed it was to someone on the phone, and not to herself.

The night practically flew in, and before I knew it, I was running late, hurriedly jumping out of the shower, and running out of the bathroom with my towel hanging off me. It didn't seem to bother Jenny as she applied tremendous amounts of eyeliner. "What time is it?"

"Quarter to nine." She replied, then turning to glance at me, giving me a horrified expression. Guess she doesn't like half naked women then. "You better hurry up. Nate is almost here and I don't want him seeing your business." The feeling was mutual but I didn't bother telling her, instead I grabbed my underwear off my bed, dropping my towel completely.

I put my sexy lingerie on. You know, encase me and my date got lucky. _Not me and Damon._ And then I grabbed my dress from the wardrobe, throwing it over my head. The purple silk fell over me, landing just above my mid thigh. I didn't care if I bent over you could see my bum. I'll just try my best not to drop things tonight. _Good luck with that. _

Jenny stood up from in front of the mirror and turned to face me, as there was a knock on the door. "Hot." She told me. I rushed to the mirror, turning the curling iron on and tapping my feet in frustration. Why didn't these bloody things just head instantly? Jenny let Nate in and I could hear them smooching behind me so I quickly curls pieces of my hair as I let them have their 'moment.'

I got my hair done in record time, and then poured the contents of my make up bag onto the table. It didn't take me long to give myself a bit off colour, then focusing on my eyes, deciding to give them a bit of oomph, I went for dark eyeliner and thick eyelashes. I looked at the clock. It was five past nine. I was just late, but Jason wasn't here yet so I'd call that a success.

"Can we go yet?" Nate asked, looking frustrated and bored. I looked at my phone and seen I had a text from Jason saying he would be late. I told Jenny and Nate to go on and I'd meet them there. I sat on the edge of my bed thinking about the evening ahead of me. It would all me okay. All I had to do was avoid Damon and everything would be fine. I mean, he wouldn't want to talk to me anyways.

I was snapped from my thoughts by the door. I lifted my bag, assuming it was Jason, getting ready to leave. I opened the door to find a tanned blonde waiting for me. Damn. He really was like a male model. He smiled at me with his perfect, white teeth glistening and I swear I nearly punched him because I was so jealous.

"You look gorgeous." He complimented me, kissing me on the cheek. And it turns out; he is quite the charmer as well. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad. Maybe all I need to do is focus on Jason and I'll make it through the night. I hoped.

We arrived at Damon's apartment at half nine and walking up his hallway was probably the most nerve wrecking moment of my existence. I could feel my hand shaking as I pushed the door open, walking into a room filled of people. Some I recognised, some I didn't. Just the usual. Jason closed the door behind us, and stood by my side.

"About time!" Jenny ran towards us, moaning about how long we had taken. Hey, it wasn't my fault. I was actually ready. She pulled my hand and I motioned for Jason to follow us as we walked into the kitchen. I looked round and let out a sigh of relief when Damon did not appear in front of me. I'd need alcohol first. "We were doing shots."

I nodded at my drunken friend as she poured three shots. One for her, and two for me apparently. Jason wasn't drinking because he was driving. Which was fine. I could drink for the both of us. I clinked my glass with Jenny's and brought it to my lips, swallowing it quickly. Jenny let out a 'woo' and pushed my other glass towards me, to which I followed the same steps.

"I fucking love you." Jenny smiled, throwing her arm around me. I smiled at her and told her I loved her too. She didn't even respond, but just ran at Nate, kissing him so hard I thought he was going to fall over. I laughed and introduced Jason to everyone so I wouldn't have to be the only one talking to him the entire night. He and Serena seemed to hit it off, so I walked towards the drink and poured myself a vodka and diet coke.

"Skipping the light drinks tonight?" I heard from behind me and I turned round to find a bearded guy smirking down at me. He must have easily been in his late 20s. Or maybe the beard just aged him. But he was hot. He looked like werewolf. If they existed. I didn't even get to respond because he stretched behind me, lifting the bottle opener and walked off. Rude.

"That was Alcide." Blair told me. I didn't even know she was right beside me, but apparently she was. "He's a dog. I'd stay away." I told her I wasn't interested but she just laughed and walked back to Chuck.

I took a sip of my drink, and took a look around the room. Dan was standing by the CD player with some short haired girl. He had a frown on his face and she had her hands on her hips. _Why hasn't anyone told him he needed a haircut? _I scanned the room some more and I felt my stomach tighten when I seen those blue eyes staring back at me. I gripped my drink and stared right back at him. He didn't even flinch. So I went for it. I waved at him and gave him a half smile, hoping he would react well.

I didn't even get to hear his response when I heard the voice of the devil behind me. "God, you're pathetic." Katherine laughed, before coming into my vision, standing beside me. I glanced down at her, and felt the urge to slap her pretty little face. "He has moved on, Lauren. Maybe you should too."

"It was a wave Katherine," I started, trying to keep my cool when on the inside I was having a Mean Girls moment and picturing throwing her across the kitchen. "I was being polite. Which is probably foreign to you, so I understand the confusion." I sipped on my drink and tried to walk past her and towards Jason.

"Did you expect him to wave back and come running over with open arms?" She asked me. And no, I didn't. But I thought it was worth a shot, getting rid of the awkwardness earlier in the evening. "He couldn't give two shits about you."

I was fed up listening to her; she was becoming a drone in my ear. I don't know what made her think she was so different than everyone else when it came to Damon. Or maybe she accepted being nothing to him. "And he just fucks you when he can't get anyone else." I pushed past her and walked towards Jason who was standing beside a hyperactive Jenny.

"You okay?" He asked, smiling at me and stroking my arm. He was so cute; I just wanted to pocket him away. But I'd like to have sex with him first. Pocket-sized sex doesn't sound very appealing to be honest.

"I'm feeling like the sober person at the party." I said, finishing my drink and refilling it. If I was going to be able to handle Katherine I would need to get buzzed fast. Or I may drown myself in Damon's bathtub.

Jason laughed and I wasn't sure if it was with or at me. I smiled either way because he is so attractive. _Is that superficial of me? _"At the rate you are going you won't need to worry about that." Good, I thought. But I just smiled at him and continued taking large gulps.

"Are you drunk yet?" Jenny turned round suddenly and gave me daggers. The kind of look that you would give someone if they murdered your family, or slept with your boyfriend. Somehow I thought she would kill me if I said no.

"Almost." I replied. It wasn't exactly a lie. I could feel the affect the alcohol was having on me. I just wasn't in the state she was in. Although, that was probably a good thing. I leant against the counter and continued drinking, listening to Jason talk about going to the south in the summer. I had no interest but I nodded anyways. I couldn't deal with all those accents. No offence.

As the night progressed on, I tore myself away from Jason to go to the bathroom and when I came out, I practically ran into Dan. I groaned and rubbed my head. Yes, the alcohol was kicking in. Dan swore and for a second I thought he was going to yell at me. "Oh, hey, Lauren." He said and I cursed my luck of having to make conversation with this doofus. "How have you been?"

"Peachy." I replied and gave him a fake smile but he didn't seem to notice. He just nodded back enthusiastically and smiled like a cat on acid. I sighed and decided to give in and just talk to him since he apparently couldn't take a hint. "How are you?"

"I'm good. Real good." He smiled again. God, stop smiling like that. You cannot be that happy. No one is that happy. "I'm glad I ran into you." _Literally, _I thought. "Do you wanna, maybe, have a drink?" He asked and continued before I could respond. "Maybe you can tell me about more authors you've been reading in class."

_No, _I wanted to yell. "Actually, Da-"

"I was talking to this really cool writer the other day-" He started but was quickly interrupted and not by me.

"I don't think she is interested, Humpdy Dumpdy." Damon told him and I stared at him in shock. Why on earth would he be saving me from an awful conversation? He couldn't even wave at me yet he was concerned about who I spoke to? It didn't seem to add up. "Move on."

Dan just glared at him but he seemed to get the hint, smiling at me before walking back to the party. I shifted in my spot, not knowing if I should walk away too or speak to the conversation saver in front of me. Both could probably cause my death. I looked up to find him staring at me like a predator stares at his prey. It turned me on a little bit.

"Thanks for that." I said awkwardly, looking everywhere but at the man in front of me. I thought if I did I would burst into flames or something. "I would have been stuck here all night."

Damon didn't even flicker a bit of emotion, not once tearing his eyes off me. "We can't have that now, can we?" He asked and I raised an eyebrow in confusion. What was that supposed to mean? Why was he acting cryptic and mysterious? I'd rather have him not talk to me at all.

"Why?" I asked, glaring at him, fed up looking like a weak little girl. Damon didn't control me and I could stand up to him if I wanted too. I was fed up with having to follow his damn rules because he didn't get what he wanted from me.

He actually smirked and leant down to my ear, whispering, "We couldn't have your lover boy being left alone all night." And my fists clenched when he mentioned Jason. He had nothing to do with any of this, and Damon bringing him into it was just pure jealousy. "Though it seems you have already done that."

I bit my tongue for saying something I didn't mean. "Fuck you." I bit out and rushed towards Jason at the other end of the apartment, quickly, tumbling over a few times. I blamed it on the shoes, not the alcohol. When I reached him, he gave me a small smile and I pounced on him, attacking his lips with mine. He responded quickly and held onto my face. "Come with me." And I pulled him straight to Damon's bedroom.

We collapsed on the bed instantly, and I climbed on top of him, pulling my dress over my shoulders. I heard Jason mutter something but I didn't care to listen, instead I shoved my hands down his pants and grasped onto his length, stroking him a few times until he was hard in my hand. We rolled over until he was on top of me, kissing me hard. I grasped his hair, pulling him closer, trying to kiss away Damon's face. But he wouldn't disappear. No matter what I did.

I kept pushing and pushing the memory out, until Jason pulled away. "You aren't into this." He told me and my mouth hanged open, wondering how he knew. I went to protest and pull him back to me but he interrupted. "It's that dark haired guy, isn't it?" I frowned and Jason rolled off me, lying beside me.

"Sorry." I mumbled but it didn't seem to mean anything. I didn't know what to say.

Jason sighed and sat up, getting off the bed, but I couldn't move. I was mad. Mad at myself for not being able to move on, and mad at Damon for not understanding my feelings. Also, mad at Jason for being so understanding. "It's okay." He told me, zipping his pants up. "I get it. You love him. I've been there."

I tried to reply but nothing came out, so I sat up and threw my legs off the bed, looking down at the floor. "I do." _I could admit it to Jason but not to Damon. How is that fair?_

I looked up to find Jason completely dressed with his hands awkwardly in his pockets. "If you don't mind, I'm going to go." I shook my head and he smiled, walking out the door, closing it behind me. I felt a tear drop down my face and I wiped it away before it became significant. I lifted my dress off the floor, and put it back on, looking at myself in the mirror before walking back out into the commotion.

I didn't walk back to Jenny because I didn't know what to say to her. 'Hey, I just ruined my date 'cause I can't get it up for anyone but Damon.' She was too drunk to understand anyways. I stood by the window, looking out at New York when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned round to find Edward looking down at me with a concerned face.

"Are you okay?" He asked and I shook my head, biting my lip, and looking up at the light. I didn't want the tears to come now. "I saw your date leave." He noted and I nodded again. I seemed to have lost my ability to speak. "Why?"

"Not everyone is okay with me wanting someone else." I shrugged and blinked the tears away. "It's understandable. I mean, you weren't okay with it either." Poor Edward probably got it worse than anyone and here I am crying in front of him because I'm a stupid bitch. I bet he is mentally slapping me. He slouched beside me, looking out at the party, as I looked at the floor.

"I don't know why you are crying." I snapped up to look at him. He didn't need to be so blunt, and so fucking ignorant. I nearly got up and walked away but he smiled, and I was reassured he had something else to say. "I mean, he wants you too." My heart pattered and I smiled slightly, searching the crowd for him, but I couldn't see him anywhere. "He still loves you."

"Edward-"

"After everything you said, or didn't say rather, he is still fucking in love with you." I couldn't help the tears now. They were slowly falling down my face and I was brushing them away continuously. Edward always knew Damon better than anyone, and if he is opening up to him then maybe...maybe he could open up to me. "He will come back eventually, Lauren. You just have to give him time. Let him win." I nodded.

I'd do anything at this rate. I just couldn't play these games anymore. I needed him so badly and I couldn't care less about anything that had happened between us. "I just want to be with him." I told Edward and he nodded.

"Then go get him."

I walked through the living room into the kitchen, looking around me but Damon was nowhere to be seen. It was like he had completely disappeared. _He better not have left, _I thought. I walked into the kitchen when Jenny ran up to me with a considered face. "Who are you looking for?"

"Your brother." And her eyes lit up so bright she could have blown up with radiation. I smiled and she jumped on me, hugging me. How did she know that it meant something good? It's like she has a sixth sense. "Have you seen him?"

She shook her head a tremendous amount of times before stopping to speak. "What happened?" She asked before stumbling over a few words, obviously wanting to say more, so I waited for her to continue. "Why the change of heart?"

"I'm tired of playing games, Jenny." I said sincerely and she nodded in agreement. "I need to tell him how I feel before it's too late."

"Aww, ain't that sweet?" I heard behind me and the venom rose in my throat. I turned round to face the dark haired beauty standing with a scowl on her face. "True love really conquers all." Katherine smirked but I could see the anger in her eyes. She was jealous, and she knew that if I opened up, it would all be over.

"Shut up, skank!" Jenny shouted from behind me. "You wouldn't know love if it raped you in the ass." I laughed and that only seemed to anger Katherine even more. She was practically shaking now and her hands were balled into fists.

"It's over, Katherine." I said loud enough so the people around us could hear. I wanted them to see her defeat. Because it really was a long time coming, and it felt fucking good. "Move on." I whispered, mirroring her words to me earlier. I let out a laugh along with Jenny and then I felt her hand collide with my cheek. I grasped my cheek instantly in pain. That hurt. More than a normal slap should. I looked down at my hand and saw blood.

"She fucking cut your cheek with her claws!" Jenny yelled. I looked up to Katherine and she was smirking again. I couldn't let her win. Not this time. So I grabbed her by the hair that she so preciously cared about, pulling her towards me. She yelped in pain and grabbed my arm, digging her nails in. It fucking hurt but I wouldn't let go. I wasn't going to be the one to give up and let her have the victory. I could hear chants behind me and it was like the music had stopped.

I pushed forwards and we both fell to the ground, me on top of her, pulling at each other roughly. She aimed to kick me where it hurts most but missed, although my reaction caused her to push me off her. I was lying on the floor, probably exposing everything to everyone but I didn't care. I saw her reach for my shoulder and she pulled at my dress, ripping one of the straps completely. I was filled with rage and my eyes were flashing red. I went to reach for her, wanting to fucking destroy her, but I felt a pair of strong arms pull me back and suddenly I could hear everything again.

Dan was chanting about a girl fight. Nate was holding Jenny back. And Edward was whispering peaceful words into my ear. I stared viciously at Katherine, who was being held back my Chuck. "You are a fucking psycho!" She shouted at me and I just laughed at her meaningless words. Tell me something I didn't know. Chuck shouted something about it being over and pushed Katherine towards the exit. I was about to turn, looking for Jenny, when I felt a hand appear beside me, pulling me towards the back the apartment.

Before I knew it was in Damon's bedroom again. But this time, I was with Damon, and not Jason. My mouth fell open looking at him, in shock at his presence. He pushed me to sit down on the bed and walked towards his bathroom; bring out a wet face towel.

He knelt in front of me, not saying a word, but instead he started wiping at my arm, which I hadn't noticed wasn't covered in blood. Katherine really did have a good grip. _Maybe that's how she held onto Damon for so long. _We sat in silence while he wiped and it didn't feel awkward like earlier, but it felt peaceful.

"I was looking for you." I managed to say, and he stilled, looking up and me, obviously wanting me to continue explaining. I cleared my throat and started speaking again. "Before Katherine appeared. I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?" He wiped at my arm once more before turning the towel inside out, and using the end to wipe at my cheek which was practically covered in blood. I bit my lip and stared at him. He looked so focused and...open. He looked like he was open with me. Like he wanted to listen.

"I'm so sorry, Damon." I had his attention completely then, he stopped altogether and sat looking up at me with a sad expression. I really did hurt him. I'd never forgive myself for it. "I'm sorry for lying to you months ago, I'm sorry for using a step by step plan on you, I'm sorry for sleeping with Eric the same night I slept with you. And I'm sorry for not telling you I love you. Because I do. I love you, Damon." I finished with a loud breath, and an unpleasant sniff due to the tears. I was sobbing in front of him and I didn't care how horrible I looked.

I waited and I waited, but Damon didn't say anything. He just smiled and then stood up, walking back to the bathroom. I sat still, looking like I'd seen a ghost. Was this how it felt when I didn't say anything to him? He appeared in front of me again and held his hand out. I looked up at him and he nodded for me to take it. I slid my hand into his and he guided us towards his bedroom door. I walked silently behind him and then he stopped. I collided into him and looked up in confusion.

He turned slightly and just as I was about to ask what was going on he bent forward and kissed me. He kissed me like we've never kissed before. It was gentle, tender and like he was afraid of scaring me away. I kissed back with the same intensity. I couldn't risk pushing him to far, not right now. We stood there for a moment, just wrapped up in each other, finally connecting after what felt like forever when he pulled away.

"Come on." He smiled, and I looked up at him in awe. Still not 100% sure of what was going on as he walked back into the party. Everything was back to normal, like the previous events hadn't happened. We reached the kitchen, hand in hand, when Jenny rushed over to me.

"Are you okay?" She asked concerned and I smiled nodding. "I was going to kill the bitch but it seems you almost did." We all laughed and Nate handed me a drink, patting me on the back. Was he proud of my violence? That seemed unexpected.

"I'm fine." I promised, just a little confused about the man holding my hand. "I'm sorry for causing a scene at your party."

"Are you kidding?" Chuck said and I couldn't help but notice Blair was smiling at me like she was proud. I really have found myself the weirdest bunch of friends ever. Or the perfect friends for me. "That was the best thing I've seen all year." He lifted his drink up in the air as if to applause me and I laughed, bowing slightly.

"This has been the best year ever." Jenny exclaimed from beside Nate, her arms wrapped around him. He looked down at her, grinning like a puppy in love. "Despite the hard times, the tears, the dramas and the fights, we are all together at the end," I looked up at Damon and he looked down at me smiling. "We're like one big family. We've been through the wars together and we will always come back together no matter what happens. 'Cause we love each other."

"We love each other." Damon agreed from beside me, still staring down at me. Finally he closed the distance between us, kissing me hard and I pulled him closer with my free hand. When we pulled apart, I looked at Jenny who was grinning at us, then to Edward who had just appeared. He winked at me. Or Damon. I wasn't sure which.

We all sat in silence for a moment before Nate perked up, imputing in the conversation. "But the year isn't over yet." I laughed at how he could come off with the one thing nobody else was thinking. He was right though. The year most certainly wasn't over. It had only begun.

"Then here is to many, many more memorable moments to come." We all lifted our drinks, clinking them one by one, and then let out a loud cheer.

_4 months later._

The sun was glistening through the window, alerting me that it was time to wake up. I groaned, not wanting to move from my comfortable position. It had been a long night, celebrating the end of our first year of college. I am pretty sure I only got into bed about two hours ago so it should not be humanly possible to be awake right now. I glanced at the clock and realized I had completely underestimated the time. It was eleven in the morning.

Believing the clock was lying to me I rolled over slowly, not wanting to move the arm that was draped over me. I turned find dark hair in my line of vision, completely messed up from the previous hours events. I smiled at the memory and stroked the soft hair in front of me, stilling when I felt him move. _Oh shit, I've woke him up. _

I closed my eyes, pretending to be asleep when I felt the arm move, stroking my back, then it was gone completely. I heard him groan again, probably looking at the clock. "Stop pretending to be asleep you evil sleep disturber."

My eyes slowly opened to find Damon staring at me with a smirk clad happily across his face. Who wakes up with a smirk? I covered myself with the blankets and hid myself to hide my smile. "It wasn't me, it was the clock." I told him but he just 'mhmed' rolling closer and pulling the blankets from my face.

"Was it really?" He asked and I nodded. He was touching mine now, our noses brushing off one another's. I think he was trying to intimidate me but he just looked really cute. We were Eskimo kissing for Christ's sake. "Are you sure you didn't wake me up on purpose?"

I opened my mouth, faking shock. But then I remembered I'm a bad actress. Although, Damon didn't seem to think so. "Why on earth would I do that?" I asked, innocently, then smirking at he crawled on top of me, towering over me, completely naked and fresh from the night before. Just as I liked him to be.

"You are a cruel, cruel woman." He joked, kissing me quickly. I licked my lips, slowly. I could still taste his beer. God, maybe we really did only get in two hours ago. "I think you need to be punished." He smiled, eyes burning into mine as he stroked down my breast. I don't know why anyone would ever associate this with punishment because this is like a sweet, sweet gift to me.

I nodded and pouted, wrapping my hands around his neck and pulling his mouth to mine as he moaned into my mouth. "I've been a bad girl." I laughed at how cliché it sounded but it only seemed to spur Damon on even more, his kisses get more aggressive. "You need to teach me a lesson."

He pulled away from me and laughed. I stared up at him in adoration, loving the sounds he was capable of making. "How about I make love to you instead?" He asked and I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him forward so his length was stroking my inner length teasingly.

"Not if I make love to you first." I guess we couldn't stop playing games after all. And that wasn't a bad thing for us, because it kept things exciting and fresh. I never knew what to expect with Damon. And I was always pleasantly surprised. So the games didn't matter because this time round, we both benefited from it, and we were happy with how things were. Because we both won. Every single time.

"It's on." He joked. "Race you to the finish."

**And I finally finished it. This chapter took me bloody ages to work through the kinks and plan the ending and interactions between characters, so even if it's not that good, which it probably isn't (sorry Lauren) there were a lot of complications cause of stuff in previous chapters. I.E making Damon and Lauren find a happy ending. I hope the ending was satisfying enough. I had fun writing this, no matter how difficult and time consuming it was. And I plan to write another fic for my bff Lauren again. But it won't be anything like this. In fact, it's a lot different. **

**For one last time, I don't own any of the characters mentioned apart from Lauren. Thank you for reading, and reviewing if you have. It means a lot! **

**OH and sorry for spelling and word errors, it's 2am and I cannot be bothered to proof read 'cause I'm a lazy bitch. **


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